Snow, Rain, Flooding and That's Canada For You; More Antique Lessons From a Veteran Dealer

Robert Currie's new view of the bog here at Birch Hollow

1950's Silver Jubilee, Pictorial Story of Martyrs' Shrine and Fort Ste. Marie under excavation

EASTER WEEK FLURRIES, RISING WATER, CRISIS IN THE UKRAINE, AND THE MISTAKES WE ANTIQUE DEALERS HATE TO ADMIT

2014 WILL GO DOWN AS THE YEAR OF STRANGE ENCOUNTERS, AND WEIRD EVENTS - EVEN JUST FOR ME

     A DAY LIKE TODAY? MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY? MAKES YOU WANT TO SIT IN A LOG CABIN, BY THE CRACKLING HEARTH, AND READ WORDSWORTH? MAKES YOU WANT TO SHOP FOR ANTIQUES? WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. WHO WANTS TO SHOP FOR ANTIQUES ON A DOG-DAY OF SPRING LIKE THIS? VERY, VERY FEW! BUT BY GOLLY, IS IT EVER PRETTY. AND TRUTH BE KNOWN, IT STOPS SUZANNE FROM HANDING ME THE GARDEN RAKE, AND POINTING TO THE AREA SHE WANTS CLEARED OF LAST SEPTEMBER'S LEAVES. IF THERE'S ONE THING I DESPISE ABOUT SPRING'S ARRIVAL, IT'S BEING TOLD TO RAKE THE LAWN. WE DON'T PERFORM THIS AS AN AUTUMN RITUAL, BECAUSE WE HOPE THE LEAVES WILL ALL BLOW AWAY IN THE GALES OF NOVEMBER; AND I'M TOLD BY MY NEIGHBORS, THAT THIS DOES HAPPEN, BUT THEY NEVER EXTEND THANKS. I PREFER TO MULCH THE LEAVES INTO THE GRASS, TO MAKE FUTURE SOIL. OUR LAWN WAS BUILT UPON AN INCH OF TOP-SOIL, BOULDERS AND BEACH SAND.
     I WONDER HOW THE GREAT BARDS OF LITERATURE, WOULD DESCRIBE, IN COMPANION VERSE, THE SNOW-LADEN MOOR, THAT GREETED US HERE, AT BIRCH HOLLOW, SO EARLY THIS BRIGHT MORNING? SO NOT HAVING ANY BARDS TO COMMISSION, TO PROVIDE THESE PHILOSOPHICAL INSIGHTS, I ENQUIRED WHETHER SON ROBERT, WOULD TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF THIS SAME SCENE; THE ONE THAT A FEW DAYS AGO WAS HAUNTED BY A DRIFTING, HEAVY MIST. BEFORE THIS, ON A SUNNY DAY LAST WEEK, HE SNAPPED ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPH SHOWING LOTS OF OPEN GROUND FOR THE NEW-ARRIVAL ROBINS TO HUNT WORMS. HE ARRIVED BACK AT BIRCH HOLLOW, WITH CLEAR EVIDENCE, IT WAS DEFINATLY SPRING; THERE WAS WATER GUSHING OUT OF HIS MUDDY BOOTS. IT INSTANTLY REMINDED ME OF ALL THE SOAKERS I GOT AS A KID, TRAMPING THROUGH THE RAVINE OF BURLINGTON'S RAMBLE CREEK. THE IMAGES HE TOOK, REMINDED ME OF LATE DECEMBER INSTEAD OF THE MIDDLE OF APRIL. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE, IS THAT IT'S NOT TOO COLD. OR I WOULD BE SHELTERING AT HOME TODAY, BY THE COZY HEARTH; INSTEAD OF HEADING OUT INTO THE WINTER CALAMITY, AND SLIP-SLIDING ALL THE WAY UP TOWN.      GADS, WHAT WILL THE EASTER BUNNY DO? POOR LITTLE BUGGER. RIGHT NOW, WITH MY HAND ON A COFFEE, AND A NICE BUTTERED PIECE OF HOT TOAST IN THE OTHER HAND, I CAN ADMIT CHEERFULLY, THAT IT IS A BEAUTIFUL SCENE OUT THERE; FROM MY OFFICE WINDOW, LOOKING OVER THE BOG, AND THE SNOW COVERED BIRCHES, LEANING OUT OVER THE HOLLOW, AS IF ROBERT FROST CREATED THEM TO CATCH MY ATTENTION. I ALWAYS RECALL HIS POEM "BIRCHES," WHEN I LOOK OUT, ON DAYS LIKE THIS, AND WATCH THE FAT BLUE JAYS, AND THE COMMUNITY OF BLACK SQUIRRELS, AND ONE RED SQUIRREL, DARTING AND FLITTING ABOUT THE BASIN, JUST ACROSS THE LANE. AT FIRST LIGHT, WHEN I COULDN'T SLEEP A MOMENT LONGER, I GOT UP TO FEED THE CATS, (BECAUSE AT DAYBREAK THEY BEGIN PAWING UNDER THE DOOR TO MAKE IT RATTLE) AND THEN LIT ONE OF MY OLD OIL LAMPS ON THE DESK; AND I JUST SAT THERE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, ENJOYING A TRULY DIVERSE SEASON OF MUSKOKA. I REMEMBER MANY APRIL SNOW EVENTS, SO I'M NOT GOING TO BLAME THIS ON GLOBAL WARMING. IT'S JUST A LATE SEASON SNOW, THAT WILL ROT AWAY THE REMAINING MANTLE THAT ARRIVED, AND STAYED, FROM STORMS IN DECEMBER. THIS IS WHAT THE OLDTIMERS TELL ME; THAT NEW SNOW AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, ASSISTS IN THE MELT OF THE OLD CRUSTY SNOW. I BELIEVE THEM, ALTHOUGH IT'S HARD TO MISTAKE THE TWINKLE IN THEIR EYE WHEN THEY TELL ME THIS.
    THE PROBLEM WITH THIS ENCHANTED POST WINTER SCENE, IS THAT IT WILL EVENTUALLY MELT INTO THE LITTLE CREEKS, STREAMS AND RIVERS THAT CRISS CROSS OUR HUGE DISTRICT, AND THIS WILL, OF COURSE, ADD CONSIDERABLE STRESS TO THE ALREADY DANGEROUS CONDITIONS, THAT ARE INCREASING DAILY WITH GENERAL SEASONAL RUN-OFF. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BAD YEAR, JUST WITH THE MELT-WATER FROM THE EXISTING SNOW CANOPY, BUT WHEN IT IS COMPLICATED BY HEAVY PRECIPITATION, IT'S TIME TO MOVE TO HIGHER GROUND. I'VE BEEN A WEATHER WATCHER FOR A LONG TIME, IN THE MUSKOKA REGION, AND I'VE NEVER WITNESSED THE KIND OF SNOW AND RAIN WE'VE HAD IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS. I'M SURE, IF I WENT RECORD HUNTING, I COULD FIND STATISTICS FOR YEARS IN HISTORY THAT WERE WORSE THAN 2013-14, BUT IT WOULD BE BACK BEFORE THE MID-1960'S, WHEN OUR FAMILY MOVED TO BRACEBRIDGE. MUSKOKA HAS FOR LONG AND LONG BEEN QUITE PREDICTABLE, IN THE AMOUNT OF PRECIPITATION IT RECEIVES EACH YEAR. BUT COMMENTS LIKE THIS, DON'T HELP FILL SAND BAGS, FOR THOSE WHO ARE DIRECTLY IN THE PATH OF THESE RISING STREAMS AND RIVERS. IT'S A WORRISOME PERIOD, FOR MANY PARTS OF ONTARIO, AND IT WILL STILL BE A COUPLE OF WEEKS BEFORE WE FIND OUT JUST HOW BAD IT WILL GET, ALONG THE MUSKOKA WATERSHED, THE BIG EAST RIVER, THE BLACK RIVER, AND IN THE SEVERN BRIDGE AREA, THAT WAS BADLY FLOODED LAST MAY. HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORSE.

Note: AT THE TIME I WAS PUTTING TODAY'S BLOG "TO BED" THE NEWS REVEALED THAT UKRAINIAN FORCES HAD RETAKEN ONE GOVERNMENT BUILDING FROM PRO RUSSIAN OCCUPIERS. GOOD FOR THEM.

     FOR MORE THAN A MONTH, I'VE PEPPERED THIS BLOG WITH SHORT PIECES ABOUT THE GROWING CRISIS IN THE UKRAINE. TODAY, REPORTEDLY, THE RUSSIAN PRIME MINISTER, HAVING A RATHER REDUNDANT POSITION IN PARLIAMENT, WARNED THAT A CIVIL WAR WAS ABOUT TO CONSUME THE UKRAINE. NO FOOLING! SEEING AS RUSSIA GOT IT GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE! A CIVIL WAR DECLARATION, WHICH THE RUSSIANS INTEND TO TIME AND DATE TO THEIR CONVENIENCE, AS WELL AS PEN THEMSELVES AN INVITATION TO INVADE. NO ONE OF SENSIBILITY, WATCHING EVENTS UNFOLD, WOULD DOUBT WHO AND WHAT COUNTRY INSTIGATED THE CRISIS. I PREDICTED, LAST WEEK, THAT WITHIN TWO WEEKS, THERE WOULD BE A SIGNIFICANT ESCALATION OF MILITARY ACTIONS, AND AN EVENTUAL INVASION BY THE THE RUSSIAN MILITARY, INTO THE EASTERN SECTION OF THE UKRAINE. THE FACT THAT THERE HAVE BEEN PRO-RUSSIAN GUN-MEN (OTHERWISE THUGS), TAKING OVER POLICE STATIONS AND CERTAIN PUBLIC BUILDINGS, IN THE UKRAINE, IN THE PAST SEVEN DAYS, WEARING COLORS OF THE FORMER SOVIET UNION, IS PRETTY MUCH PROOF THE INVASION HAS STARTED AS A TRICKLE...WITH A FULL FLOOD OF MILITARY ASSETS COMING SOON. MOST MILITARY EXPERTS ARE EXPECTING THE COMMENCEMENT OF RUSSIAN TROOP MOVEMENT ACROSS THE BORDER, INTO EASTERN UKRAINE, AT ANY MOMENT. WE'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE NEWS, FROM THE UKRAINE, ALMOST HOURLY TODAY, BECAUSE IT APPEARS THE TIME FRAME IS SHORTENING; THE INVASION COULD COME SOONER THAN EXPECTED. THAT'S NOT GOOD FOR THE PRO-UKRAINIAN POPULATION, AND A DIRE OUTCOME FOR EVERYONE IN EUROPE, WHO WILL BE LEFT TO PONDER THE QUESTION, "WHAT IS RUSSIA'S NEXT PROJECT?"      I CERTAINLY FEEL SORRY FOR THE INTERIM PRESIDENT OF THE COUNTRY, WHO NOW HAS TO MAKE CRITICAL THESE CRITICAL DECISIONS ABOUT MILITARY DEFENSE, TO PROTECT THE COUNTRY'S INTEGRITY, YET SAFEGUARDING THE WELFARE OF THE POPULATION; WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, THE RUSSIAN FOREIGN MINISTER HAS MADE IT CRYSTAL CLEAR, THAT TO HARM A PRO-RUSSIAN MILITANT, OCCUPYING ANY OF THOSE "OCCUPIED" BUILDINGS, WOULD CREATE A DIRE CIRCUMSTANCE. WHAT'S THE POOR MAN TO DO? HE COULD CAUSE THOUSANDS OF DEATHS, OF HIS COUNTRYMEN, IF HE MAKES A MISTAKE, THINKING THAT EUROPE IS GOING TO COME TO UKRAINE'S DEFENSE. I WANT TO BELIEVE NATO IS STANDING GUARD, AND WILL HELP THESE PEOPLE, BUT THERE ARE SO MANY TERRIBLE OUTCOMES OF MISJUDEMENT, OR TAKING RUSSIA'S BAIT. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED ON THE WEEKEND, AND WE SHOULD ALL BE THANKFUL THAT THE CAPTAIN OF THE AMERICAN DESTROYER, IN THE BLACK SEA, REFUSED TO ENGAGE A RUSSIAN FIGHTER JET. IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THIS TRIGGER EVENT OCCURRED, THAT COULD HAVE SPARKED THE COMMENCEMENT OF ALL-OUT WAR, AND WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL MANY HOURS LATER.
     NOW THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT. I'VE BEEN WRITING ABOUT THE COLD WAR PERIOD, OF THE EARLY 1960'S, WHEN RUSSIA AND THE UNITED STATES SQUARED-OFF IN THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS. A FEW READERS HAVE FELT I WAS JUMPING THE GUN ABOUT THIS, BELIEVING INSTEAD RUSSIA WOULD EVENTUALLY BACK OFF, WHEN IT WINS CONCESSIONS. A SORT OF NORTH KOREA SCENARIO, OF USING NUCLEAR WEAPON DEVELOPMENT AS A BARTERING TOOL. SO I ASKED SUZANNE, LAST EVENING, AS WE WERE JUST LEARNING ABOUT THE RUSSIAN FIGHTER PILOT'S THREATENING LOW-LEVEL, COBAT SUGGESTIVE FLY-OVERS, OF THE AMERICAN BATTLESHIP; MULTIPLE TIMES IN FACT, OVEER A CONSIDERABLE TIME FRAME. I ASKED HER, (AS SHE CLEARLY REMEMBERS THE TENSIONS OF THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS), WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF EITHER HAD FIRED UPON THE OTHER? WHAT WOULD THAT HAVE DONE TO THE PRESENT VOLATILITY IN THE UKRAINE, AND FOR THE REST OF EUROPE. IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD MUCH INTEREST IN THE TURMOIL IN THE UKRAINE, AND THE INVASION OF THE CRIMEA, THAT HAS OCCURRED OVER THE PAST MONTH, THIS ONE ACT OF PROVOCATION, OBVIOUSLY SANCTIONED BY THE KREMLIN, COULD HAVE ENDED VERY BADLY FOR ALL OF US.
    IT WAS AS CLOSE AS A HUMAN FINGER ON AN ONBOARD FIRING MECHANISM. AND IT'S NOT LIKE THE FIGHTER PILOT TOOK ONE RUN AND DEPARTED. THIS WAS A MUCH MORE AGGRESSIVE MOCK ATTACK, AND GOD BLESS THE CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP FOR NOT FIRING ON THE PLANE. BUT THERE'S NO WAY THE RUSSIAN PILOT WAS DOING THIS MISSION UNDER THE DIRECTION, OF ANYONE LOWER THAN THE PRESIDENT OF HIS COUNTRY. THERE WERE TWO FINGERS DECIDING THE FATE OF THIS CRISIS DURING THOSE DANGEROUS HISTORY-ALTERING MOMENTS. THAT'S WHAT IT CAME DOWN TO ON THE WEEKEND, BUT IT TOOK UNTIL LAST EVENING, FOR MOST OF US NEWS HOUNDS TO FIND THIS OUT. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE IRON WILL OF DISCIPLINE, THAT IT REQUIRED, FOR THAT SHIP'S CREW, TO STARE DOWN THE REPEATED, THREATENING LOW-LEVEL FLY-OVERS; AND NOT BLOW THE AIRCRAFT OUT OF THE SKY. IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST HAVE FELT LIKE FOR THE RUSSIAN PILOT, WHO WAS QUITE LITERALLY ON A SUICIDE MISSION, HIS GOVERNMENT KINDLY AWARDED HIM, HINGED ONLY ON THE GOOD HUMOR OF THE AMERICAN CAPTAIN, TO KEEP THE PEACE. WHAT A COMPLETELY INSANE SITUATION, TO TRY AND GET THE AMERICAN SHIP TO FIRE ON THE FIGHTER JET. BUT THAT'S WHAT THE RUSSIANS ARE PLAYING AT, THESE DAYS, AND WITH NEWS THE UKRAINIAN TROOPS ARE IN A CONVOY TODAY, HEADED TO SOME BORDER AREA, IT'S TO BE EXPECTED, THIS STAND-OFF IS NOW GOING TO BE SHORT-LIVED. IT MEANS A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE, BECAUSE OF THE DELUSIONAL THINKING OF THE FEW, THAT EUROPE WILL STAND BY AND LET RUSSIA TAKE OVER THE WORLD. IT IS A SNOWY DAY IN MUSKOKA. A TRAGIC DAY IN THE UKRAINE. I THINK IT'S A TRAGIC DAY AS WELL, FOR ALL THOSE RUSSIAN CITIZENS WHO HAVE NO APPETITE FOR WAR, AND WHO NOW, ARE EMBARRASSED BY THEIR GOVERNMENT'S MILITARY ACTIONS. HOW WILL THE GOVERNMENT SURPRESS PROTEST? OFF TO THE GULAG? SIBERIA FOR YOU! IN ONLY A FEW MONTHS, RUSSIA HAS GONE FROM BEING A GOOD HOST, TO AN INVADER. IT'S THE WORLD-THREAT ASPECT, THAT HAS PEAKED OUR INTEREST.
   WHAT A GIFT TO HUMANITY, IT WOULD BE, IF EVERYONE SHOWED RESTRAINT, AND A PASSION FOR PEACE, BY WITHDRAWING THEIR FINGERS OFF THE TRIGGER. WHAT AN EASTER BLESSING THIS WOULD BE FOR MANKIND.

ANTIQUE DEALERS MAKE THEIR SHARE OF MISTAKES - AND HIS GOES BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE PROFESSION

     (FROM THE BOOK, "ANTIQUE DEALER," BY R.P. WAY, PUBLISHED BY THE READERS UNION / MICHAEL JOSEPH, REPRINT EDITION, 1957)
     "I KNOW THAT PEOPLE OFTEN WONDER HOW DEALERS CAN BEAR TO PART WITH SOME OF THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THEY ACQUIRE, BUT I THINK THAT IN EVERY TRUE ANTIQUE DEALER'S BLOOD, IS THE THRILL OF THE CHASE; HE MUST SELL WHAT HE BUYS TO OBTAIN THE MONEY TO SATISFY THE CEASELESS URGE TO HUNT FOR MORE, AND MORE, INTERESTING PIECES; AND TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR THEM WHEN THEY ARE FOUND. TO BALANCE THIS I SHOULD THINK THAT AN ANTIQUE DEALER GETS MORE DISAPPOINTMENTS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. THE HUNDREDS OF SALES I'VE BEEN TO AND THE HUNDREDS OF HOUSES I'VE CALLED AT, THAT HAVE BEEN A SHEER WASTE OF TIME PROVES THIS. SO FAR I'VE ONLY TOLD OF THE FRUITFUL AND GOOD THINGS I'VE ATTAINED, AND NOT OF MY MANY MISTAKES. IT WASN'T OFTEN THAT I BOUGHT FAKES, BUT IN BADLY LIT SALESROOMS OR HOUSES, I'VE SOMETIMES BOUGHT ARTICLES, (I'M TALKING OF FURNITURE), THAT HAVE BEEN EXTENSIVELY REPAIRED, OR OF VERY BAD COLOUR, OR WORMY. I DON'T THINK THE FIRST TWO FAULTS NEED EXPLANATION BUT THE LAST MAY."
     MR. WAY WRITES OF HIS EXPLOITS, THAT IT'S "A COMMON FALLACY THAT THE WOODWORM IS THE ANTIQUE DEALER'S FRIEND; ALL SORTS OF NONSENSICAL TALES ARE TOLD OF HOW THE DEALER KEEPS A TWELVE BORE GUN, WITH WHICH TO SHOOT ARTIFICIAL HOLES IN A PIECE, OR THAT HE BORES HOLES WITH A BRADAWL, TO SIMULATE WORM HOLES. SUCH ARTIFICES MAY HAVE BEEN EMPLOYED FIFTY YEARS AGO BEFORE PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTOOD FURNITURE, BUT TODAY, WOODWORMS ARE ONE OF THE BIGGEST HEADACHES FOR AN ANTIQUE DEALER. I REMEMBER A COLLEAGUE ASKING A RIDDLE; WHAT IS IT THAT AN ANTIQE DEALER ALWAYS LOOKS FOR BUT HOPES NEVER TO FIND. THE ANSWER - WORM HOLES. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE VARIOUS REMEDIES FOR CURING WORM-INFESTED FURNITURE, BUT IT'S NOT MY PURPOSE TO DISCUSS THEM HERE. MY POLICY HAS ALWAYS BEEN THAT IF EVER I MADE A MISTAKE OF ANY DESCRIPTION, IT WAS BEST TO PUT THE ARTICLE IN A SALE ROOM, AND LET IT GO FOR WHATEVER IT WOULD FETCH, AND CUT THE LOSS.
     "I ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF FAIRLY SMART AT VIEWING SALES, AND I DON'T THINK I VERY OFTEN MISSED ANYTHING VALUABLE IN THE ANTIQUE LINE, BUT ONCE I HAD AN EXPERIENCE AT A SALE, AT A SMALL COUNTRY HOUSE AT WOODCHESTER, NOT FAR FROM STROUD, THAT I NEVER FORGOT. IT WAS IN THE DAYS BEFORE I OWNED THE VAN, AND I WENT THERE BY A SLOW CROSS-COUNTRY RAILWAY ROUTE. I WALKED FROM THE STATION TO THE HOUSE, ABOUT A MILE AWAY, AND HAD A GOOD LOOK ROUND; AND THE ONLY INTERESTING ANTIQUE I COULD SEE WAS A DR. WALL PERIOD WORCESTER CUP AND SAUCER, WORTH ABOUT THIRTY-FIVE SHILLINGS. THIS SMALL PIECE DIDN'T REALLY SEEM WORTH WAITING FOR, BUT AS THE NEXT TRAIN DIDN'T LEAVE FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS I WALKED ROUND THE GARDEN. I WAS JUST GOING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, WHEN I MET A DEALER I KNEW WELL FROM CHELTENHAM, LONG SINCE DEAD. HE WAS REALLY MORE OF A SECOND HAND DEALER, BUT HE BOUGHT A FEW PIECES OF ANTIQUE FURNITURE NOW AND AGAIN. 'HELLO MR. WAY, ARE YOU GOING DOWN TO THE VILLAGE PUB TO GET A BITE BEFORE THE SALE STARTS,' HE ASKED. 'WELL, I MIGHT LOOK IN AT THE PUB BUT AS FAR AS FOR THE SALE, I DON'T THINK IT'S WORTH COMING BACK FOR.' A LOOK OF ASTONISHMENT CAME OVER HIS FACE AS HE SAID, 'DON'T YOU WANT THE SERVICE? OR THAT LOVELY WALNUT BOX?' 'COME WITH ME,' HE SAID, AND TOOK ME BACK INTO THE ROOM WHERE I'D BEEN. ALL THE MODERN CHINA AND GLASS WAS LAID OUT ON TWO NARROW TRESTLE TABLES, COVERED WITH LARGE FINE LINEN TABLECLOTHS, WHICH HUNG DOWN OVER THE SIDES NEARLY TO THE GROUND.
     "HE BENT DOWN AND, CATCHING HOLD OF THE EDGE OF THE CLOTH, RAISED IT UP AND SHOWED ME BENEATH THE TABLE, A MAGNIFICENT COALPORT DESSERT SERVICE OF OVER SIXTY PIECES, THE CENTRES OF THE PLATES AND DISHES, DECORATED WITH COLOURED BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS, THE BORDERS A RICH GREEN AND GOLD. BY THE SIDE OF THE FIREPLACE THERE WAS AN ORDINARY, MODERN LIGHT-OAK, FLAT-TOP COAL-SCUTTLE; MY COMPANION LIFTED THIS AND UNDER IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL QUEEN ANNE WALNUT LACE-BOX, OF EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY. HE THEN TOOK ME UPSTAIRS AND BY THIS TIME I WAS FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT. IN A BEDROOM WAS A FIRE-GRATE AND, LYING THERE, TIED UP WITH A BUNDLE OF FIRE-IRONS, A PAIR OF EXQUISITE LOUIS XVI ORMOLU AND BRONZE FIRE-DOGS. OF COURSE I STAYED FOR THE SALE, AND THE ONLY OTHER DEALER OF NOTE WAS HARRY WHITE OF GLOUCESTER. AFTER THE SALE WAS OVER, AND WE WERE HAVING A LITTLE KNOCK-OUT, (AUCTION BETWEEN DEALERS), SOMEONE MENTIONED THAT WERE WAS ONE LOT OF CHINA LEFT. I THOUGHT IT MUST BE THE WORCESTER CUP AND SAUCER, AND GOT IT FOR JUST UNDER TWO POUNDS, AT WHICH THE CHELTENHAM DEALER SAID, 'I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE HAD SPOTTED THAT,' AND HANDED ME TWO SMALL NEWSPAPER PARCELS WHICH I PUSHED INTO MY MACKINTOSH POCKET."
     THE INTREPID ANTIQUE HUNTER WRITES, "HARRY WHITE TOOK THE WALNUT BOX AND THE FRENCH FIRE-DOGS, WHILST I HAD THE DESSERT SERVICE. WHEN I UNPACKED THE SERVICE AT HOME, AND LAID IT OUT ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE, I FOUND THAT THERE WERE TWENTY-SIX PLATES, SO I TOOK OUT TWO, AS TWO DOZEN WOULD SELL EASILY AS THE LARGER NUMBER. I KEPT THESE FOR OUR OWN USE, AND TO THIS DAY WE STILL USE THEM AS CAKE PLATES. ON MY WAY HOME ON THE TRAIN, I THOUGHT I'D HAVE A LOOK AT THE WORCESTER CUP AND SAUCER, AND PULLED THE TWO PARCELS OUT OF MY POCKET. TO MY ASTONISHMENT EACH CONTAINED A LITTLE CHELSEA FIGURE, ONE OF THEM, A HEN BROODING OVER SOME CHICKENS, WHOSE TINY WHITE FACES WERE PEEPING OUT HERE AND THERE, AND THE OTHER, A HEN SITTING ON A NEST OF EGGS. THIS MAY SEEM LIKE A TALL STORY, BUT I FOUND OUT FROM MY CHELTENHAM FRIEND, LATER ON, THAT THESE TWO LITTLE FIGURES WERE ON A BEDROOM MANTELPIECE AND, NOT KNOWING THAT THEY WERE CHELSEA, HE'D HIDDEN THEM IN A MODERN SPILL-VASE THAT WAS THERE, AND THIS WAS THE LOT OF CHINA I HAD PAID TWO POUNDS FOR. IT IS THIS KIND OF WONDERFUL FIND THAT KEEPS A DEALER KEENLY ON THE TRAIL, AND MAKES UP TO HIM, FOR MANY OF THE DISAPPOINTMENTS HE MEETS WITH."
     FROM MY OWN REGIONAL EXPERIENCES, IT'S TRUE THAT AUCTION-GOERS OFTEN LIKE TO STACK BOXES, AND BASKETS, WITH ITEMS THEY WANT FOR THEIR WINNING BID. THERE WAS AN INCIDENT, AT A LOCAL CHARITY AUCTION, FOR A TOWN FIRE DEPARTMENT, WHEN TWO PIPE CHEWING, BURLY, MEAN LOOKING FELLOWS, DECIDED TO STACK A BOX WITH ITEMS THEY WISHED TO BID ON. AT THE TIME, IN THE LATE 1990'S, AND INTO THE NEW CENTURY, IT WAS COMMON FOR AUCTIONEERS TO OFFER SIGNIFICANT JOB-LOTS, ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A LARGE ESTATE CLEARANCE SALE, WITH THOUSANDS OF ITEMS TO DISPOSE OF DURING THE DAYLIGHT HOURS. HEAVEN FORBID IT SHOULD RAIN. IN THAT EVENT, THE SALE WENT EVEN FASTER, AND THERE WERE A LOT OF GOOD DEALS LEFT FOR THE BRAVE, WHO COULD STICK IT OUT.
    THE AUCTIONEER'S HELPERS WOULD SET OUT A COUPLE OF HUNDRED CARDBOARD BOXES, THAT WERE FULL OF BITS AND BOBBS, AND BEFORE THE ITEMS WERE SOLD IN THESE SAME CONTAINERS, BIDDERS WOULD HAVE MADE WHAT WE USED TO CALL SUPER-BOXES, FULL OF ITEMS THEY HAD SELECTED, AND MOVED FROM OTHER BOXES INTO ONE BIG CONTAINER. THE IDEA WAS, THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO BID-ON, AND BUY JUST ONE BOX, INSTEAD OF BIDDING ON TEN. BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE DOING THE SAME THING, AND IT WAS HILARIOUS TO WATCH HOW THE BOXES WERE FILLED UP BY ONE PERSON, AND RE-ARRANGED BY A DOZEN OTHER PEOPLE.
     IN THE CASE OF THIS PARTICULAR JOB-LOT, THE GENTS HAD GOT A LITTLE GREEDY, EXPECTING THE AUCTIONEER TO SELL THE BOX AS-IS, MEANING EVERYTHING WAS INCLUDED FOR THE WINNING BIDDER. AT THE TIME, ANDREW WAS JUST BUILDING HIS VINTAGE INSTRUMENT COLLECTION, AND THERE WAS A REALLY NICE BANJO, THAT THEY DECIDED SHOULD GO IN THE BOX, THEY INTENDED TO BID ON. WHAT THEY HAD DONE HOWEVER, WAS INAPPROPRIATE, BECAUSE THE BANJO HAD BEEN SET OUT SEPARATELY, AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN, TO BE AUCTIONED ALONE; NOT AS PART OF THIS SUPER BOX. SO LOOKING THEM STRAIGHT IN THE EYES, WE'D GO TO THE BOX, TAKE THE BANJO OUT, AND PLACE IT WHERE IT HAD BEEN SET BY AUCTION HELPERS. EVERY TIME WE MOVED IT BACK, ONE OF THESE TWO LUMBERJACKS, WOULD SHIFT THE BANJO BACK INTO THEIR OVERFLOWING BOX. IT HAPPENED ABOUT EIGHT TIMES. THE LAST TIME THEY PUT IT BACK IN THE BOX, I DECIDED TO PULL RANK, AND CALL ON THE HELP OF A FRIEND, A FIREMAN, WHO WAS HANDING THE AUCTIONEER PIECES TO SELL. WHEN THERE WAS A PAUSE, I SPOKE TO HIM, ASKING IF WE COULD PUT THE BANJO UP FOR SALE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE WE HAD TO LEAVE THE AUCTION, DUE TO A PRIOR COMMITMENT. ANDREW HAD ALREADY PULLED THE BANJO OUT OF THE MEN'S NEATLY ARRANGED AND SORTED BOX, A NINTH TIME, AND HE QUIKLY WALKED IT, RIGHT UP TO MY FRIEND, AND HANDED IT TO HIM. IT WAS AGREED, BY THE AUCTIONEER, THAT THE BANJO WOULD BE SOLD INDIVIDUALLY IN ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES, FROM THAT POINT IN TIME. THE GOOD PART, WAS THAT THE BANJO WAS KEPT BEHIND THE DIVIDER, SO THAT THE OLD LADS COULDN'T GET THEIR HANDS ON IT.
     WHEN IT CAME UP FOR SALE, THESE GENTS WERE ANGRY, BECAUSE THEY HAD WANTED IT TO INCLUDE THE CONTENTS OF THE BOX AS WELL, BUT THAT IS NOT HOW STAFF HAD SET IT OUT FOR THE SALE. THEY STARTED THE BIDDING FOR THE PIECE, BUT I KNEW THEY WEREN'T PREPARED TO SPEND WHAT WE HAD BUDGETED. SO ANDREW GOT THE BANJO, AND WE GOT NASTY LOOKS FROM THE TWO AUCTION-FIXERS, WHO NEVER FORGAVE US FOR THAT INTERVENTION. EVERY SALE AFTER, THEY USED TO FROWN AND GROWL IF WE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THEM. FROM THAT POINT ON, THEY NEVER SCREWED WITH ANY OF THE VINTAGE INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE, AND THAT WAS JUST FINE WITH US.