Antique Dealers And Those Who Want To Make Money From Them

ANTIQUE DEALERS AND THOSE WHO WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM THEM

WE SEE IT ALL AND THEN SOME

     I'M WRITING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT'S TIMELY. AN IMMEDIATE DRAIN ON MY PATIENCE. WHEN WE OPERATED A SIMPLE, NO FRILLS, ON-LINE BUSINESS, SELLING OLD AND OUT OF PRINT BOOKS, PLUS EPHEMERA, WHICH WAS MOSTLY MUSKOKA THEMED, WE HAD PHONE CALLS EVERY WEEK, FROM PEOPLE TRYING TO SELL US ALL KINDS OF STRANGE ITEMS. A LOT OF THIS STEMMED FROM THE FACT I WROTE, AND STILL WRITE, COLUMNS ON ANTIQUES AND COLLECTABLES, FOR THE REGIONAL AND PROVINCIAL PRESS. WE OBVIOUSLY COULDN'T GET PERTURBED BY THESE CALLS, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT KEEPS ANTIQUE DEALERS IN INVENTORY. RIGHT? THEY (CALLERS) HAVE THINGS FOR SALE, AND WE NEED THINGS TO SELL. THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS OF COURSE, AND SUZANNE AND I ARE TWO OF THEM.

    OF COURSE, WE ARE CAREFUL ABOUT BUYING, AND MANY DEALERS ARE PARTICULARLY FUSSY ABOUT NOT ONLY WHAT THEY BUY, BUT ARE PERSNICKETY ABOUT THE SOURCE, AND CONDITION. WE ONCE CALCULATED AN AVERAGE OF CALLERS, AND THEIR WARES FOR SALE, AND EVEN THOUGH I WROTE MOSTLY ABOUT BOOKS AND PAPER HERITAGE, WE WERE OFFERED ONLY A FEW BOOKS OVER ONE ENTIRE YEAR. MOST OF THE TIME, I WRITE PRETTY TIGHT, ABOUT THE COLLECTABLES I KNOW MOST ABOUT, AND SHY AWAY FROM DELVING INTO AREAS I'M UNSURE ABOUT. SO EVEN IF THESE FOLKS READ MY COLUMNS FOR ONE MONTH, THEY'D HAVE TO KNOWN, IT'S POINTLESS TO OFFER ME VINTAGE OIL CANS, AND ANTIQUE WELDING MACHINES.

    THIS IS WHAT WE GET, WHEN WHAT I WOULD REALLY LIKE, IS A LINE ON A SHED FOR OF HISTORICAL DOCUMENTS, LETTERS, JOURNALS OR NOW, EVEN OLD COOKBOOKS. BET THE NEXT ENQUIRY I GET, IS FOR A VINTAGE PLYMOUTH. ACTUALLY, I HAVE HAD FOUR CALLS THIS YEAR ALREADY, AND A FEW EMAILS, ABOUT VINTAGE WOODEN BOATS. THIS IS BECAUSE I'VE WRITTEN REGULARLY ABOUT MY FATHER-IN-LAW, NORMAN STRIPP, WHO REPAIRED MUSKOKA'S ANTIQUE BOATS FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE. I DON'T. I DON'T FIX THEM, COLLECT THEM, AND I'VE NEVER EVEN DRIVEN ONE. SUZANNE'S MOTHER ASKED NORMAN TO GIVE ME THE KEYS TO HIS BOAT, THE "SS" ONE NIGHT, AFTER A BARBECUE, AND I THOUGHT THE OLD GEEZER WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. INSTEAD, HE TOOK SUZANNE AND I OUT FOR A CRUISE, UNDER HIS CARE AND CONTROL. AND HE MADE IT CLEAR I WAS TO KEEP MY HANDS OFF THE KEYS FOREVER. SON-IN-LAW MEANT NOTHING WHEN IT CAME TO ANTIQUE BOAT SHARING.

     THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF BEING A DEALER, THESE DAYS, IS THAT WE ARE OFTEN CONFUSED, AS BEING FANCY PAWN BROKERS. WE GET IT A LOT, BEING ON THE MAIN STREET OF TOWN, AND I HATE WHAT IT REPRESENTS. WE KNOW A LOT OF FOLKS ARE HAVING HARD TIMES OUT THERE, AND WE'VE SEEN SOME SAD CASES, AND THE FACES OF PEOPLE WE KNOW…..LOOKING UP TO US, TO HELP THEM OUT. HAVING BEEN THROUGH A NUMBER OF RECESSIONS AS ANTIQUE DEALERS, WE HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE, AND IT'S ALWAYS UNSETTLING AND TURNING PEOPLE DOWN, EVEN FOR LOANS, MAKES US AS UNHAPPY AS I'M SURE OUR DISMISSAL BOTHERS THEM. AND THERE ARE OTHER TIMES, WHEN, FOR EXAMPLE, SOMEONE INTERESTED IN SELLING PIECES FROM A COLLECTION, WILL GIVE US AN ULTIMATUM. "CALL US. WE'VE GOT ANTIQUE FOR SALE!" OR, "I WANT YOU TO COME OVER TONIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT OUR STUFF IS WORTH." WELL, IT'S ANTIQUES 1O1 FOLKS, TO ANSWER BACK, "WE DON'T DO BUSINESS THAT WAY…..BUT THANKS ANYWAY!" I'VE GOT MORE DIRTY LOOKS WITH THIS REPLY, TO THE COMMAND, TO ATTEND THEIR HOMES FOR APPRAISAL SERVICES….WHICH I DON'T DO ANYWAY. IF THEY WANT TO EXPLORE REASONS FOR MY CRAPPY ATTITUDE, I EXPLAIN TO THEM, THAT I OPERATE THIS BUSINESS, WHICH IS OWNED PRIVATELY, BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HAVING AN A--HOLE ABOVE ME. I TAKE ORDERS FROM MY WIFE, AND ONLY BECAUSE SHE DOUBLES AS THE ACCOUNTANT. I DON'T DANCE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A NEED TO MAKE SOME MONEY FAST; AND I'M THE FIRST ANTIQUE DEALER YOU THOUGHT OF AS AN EASY MARK. AND HONESTLY, THIS IS NINE TENTHS OF THE SITUATIONS, WE HAVE PLAY OUT, EVERY MONTH, WHERE WE'RE BEING OFFERED A RARE OPPORTUNITY, TO BUY "UBER PRECIOUS" PIECES, WE'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. IF THAT WAS ONLY TRUE. THERE ARE A LOT OF VARIATIONS TO THIS SALES PITCH, BUT THE USUAL SCENARIO IS, WE VISIT ONLY TO FIND THEY TOLD US A PORKY. NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY, AND WE'VE JUST WASTED OUR TIME.

HOW TO FIND THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

     I had a request to call a person, the other day, who wanted us to see some items for sale, ahead of a planned garage / yard extravaganza. Beware of this one, if you are an antique dealer, (you probably know all about this ruse)….because it's usually a ploy for free market valuation. I've been conned this way a lot, and have offered my services just to get out of an awkward situation. I will get to these homes, and the garage door will be opened, with pomp and circumstance, and I will be asked to have a look to see if there's anything I like. Which is a problem considering that nothing will be priced. That's why I'm there. I'm the freaking guest of honor. "I want to pick your brain," they boldly ask, with great enthusiasm, such that it is beyond their comprehension, I might be unwilling to do a favor for someone I don't know. They don't realize they have just made me postpone my dinner, or writing this blog, so that I could help them prep for a yard sale….by establishing antique shop pricing. I had a person tell me that they needed a considerable amount of money, very soon, and that I should show up and buy their antiques…..thus fixing the problem for them, and clearing out the old homestead of junk, as a bonus. It's simply impossible to explain what this feels like, other than being used, and taken advantage of….because on quite a few occasions, the only thing I've been able to afford, after helping them evaluate their inventories, is the gas to make a get-away……only to find them chasing me down the road with a few more things to evaluate clutched in their covetous, grasping hands.

     There is a feeling out there, that we need to make over-the-counter purchases to stay in operation. This may be one of the greatest myths of all time, as regards the antique trade. It's not so. Not even close. And truthfully, I prefer never buying anything this way, except if it is from a family friend…..one who we would trust running the shop in our absence. We prefer to sell on consignment, if we do actually accept outside inventory, and even then, we limit our consignors to no more than a half dozen. In fact, we have one at present, and we're happy with their work ethic and picking sensibility, and our shop rooms are full. I don't need to buy over-the-counter to maintain an inventory. I have always operated in this fashion, and greatly prefer picking my own inventory, from a thousand different sources hit throughout the year, on our terms, and at our convenience.

     Earlier this year, I must admit getting very angry, when we were hassled about visiting a homeowner, who had a collection of vintage pine for sale. They left their phone number, but when son Andrew took the message, he made it clear, he would give us the note (end of story)……and that it would be at our discretion whether we called or not, based on our interest. I wasn't interested at all. We have a small shop, and we don't sell a lot of furniture. If these same people, who kept calling and coming in, had actually taken the time, to have a look around the shops, as normal customers, they would have known right then, the pieces for sale wouldn't have fit in, to either the type of inventory most prevalent, or that there was enough room to fit the pieces inside the building. Instead, they opted to leave messages, and admit to being perturbed why we hadn't jumped all over this great opportunity. In their collective mind, they were telling us what was in our best interest. Don't just love how other people know what's best….cause we're so pathetically stupid.

    Another individual more or less ordered me to respond to the desire he had, to move a huge piece of furniture (that he wanted rid of)……and this is exactly how he put it! I nodded at him, chuckled a little at how naive he was, and wished him a good afternoon. Now this request for my immediate attention came at a local park. The chap had no clue what our shop even looked like, full of what we buy and sell, yet he was convinced the behemoth piece would make my business more than special. Well, it didn't arrive at our store, because I never went to have a look at it….because I don't answer to snapped fingers…..unless it's from Suzanne, wondering what I did with a particular receipt or invoice. I suppose, by doing this, and not being obliging, I'm a real bad actor in the antique community. If I did what people wanted me to do, on a daily basis, I wouldn't have a single dime left to buy my wife a nice dinner. I wouldn't even be able to buy a dinner roll. These folks would like me to give them all my time, for free, to appraise everything they own, and to pay top dollar for anything I might wish to purchase…..after the pricing for their yard sale was completed. So truthfully, in order to stay in business, and be the manager of my own enterprise, I have had to impose some strict rules of conduct…..for myself, and that has worked brilliantly for the past twenty years. Sellers don't call the shots. The dealer is the card holder.

     We have had a particularly interesting period, over the past several weeks, as we see the yard sale entrepreneur's readying themselves to make big money out there, competing with us…..those who have to pay rent and insurance to maintain store-fronts. So just by following policy, we have undoubtedly ticked-off quite a few people, by not whipping out after work, to appraise their stuff…..or agree to pay big bucks for below average wares. I can't even describe some of the messes we have seen out there, when we have fallen for the "you're not going to believe the things we have," claims; which for us, represent more than ninety percent of the home visits we've had, since opening our business back in the late 1980's. There are times we have been very happy with what we found, and the asking prices. But they are opportunities that are few and far between, and today it's just far more sensible, to suggest to these people instead, "we'll come out for the yards sale," which really scares them, because we might find something that is priced under market value. This is what we do however, in case you want to do some research about the antique profession. We're the ones who hustle up the big finds. It's seldom an over-the-counter experience. The fun of my business, is the hunt. It's not much of a hunt if I only have to reach into the money box, to get enough to afford the privilege, of the trinket being offered by someone on the other side.

     I don't like being put on the spot. I don't like staring in the trunks of cars, that may also be doubling as a residence. I don't like being pressured to phone, visit, or appraise items over the phone…..which occurs once or twice every month. What Suzanne and I want most of all, is to hunt and gather the old fashion way, all across this beautiful region, without ever once feeling obligated to appraise something as an act of kindness. We're kind people to start with, and we'd like if that wasn't solely measured by what we do, on a professional level, to make someone else a little richer.

     Thanks for taking the time, from your busy schedule, to visit for awhile. I hope I haven't been too imposing. I don't like it when it happens to me either!


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