NOTE: I'm going back in history. I am now listening to the third period of the seventh game between the Leafs and the Bruins. I'd watch it on television but I don't get that channel. The last time I listened to radio broadcast of a hockey game the commentator was Foster Hewitt. I've been a Leaf fan my whole life so it would be nice, but I don't want to jinx them.
THE IDENTIFICATION GAME, THE ANTIQUE SLEUTH, AND THE OCCASIONAL BUT SPLENDID SUCCESS
A LITTLE BACK-TRACKING FOR A FEW LINES
AS I MADE NOTE OF LAST EVENING, I WAS ABLE TO ACQUIRE A VINTAGE BRASS ALTER CROSS, AT A CHARITY SHOP ON THE WEEKEND. THE FACT THAT I FOUND IT IN THIS SHOP, ISN'T STRANGE, BECAUSE THEY DO THIS KIND OF THING ALL THE TIME. SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, I WAS ABLE TO FIND A CHURCH RELATED VASE, WITH BLOWN CRANBERRY GLASS ON IRON, THAT IS OF SUBSTANTIAL ANTIQUE VALUE, AND SIGNIFICANT AGE. THE FUNNY THING WAS THAT THE MANAGEMENT FOLKS, TRYING TO MAXIMIZE THEIR PROFIT, AND THEN SOME, MUST HAVE SAT AROUND STARING AT THIS THING, "THE CROSS," TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY IT WAS SO BIG, CUMBERSOME, AND HEAVY FOR A HOUSEHOLD ICON. SO THEY OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT, TO COVER THEIR BASES, JUST IN CASE IT WAS AN EXTRA SPECIAL HOME ICON, THEY WOULD PUT A HEFTY PRICE TAG ON IT. I WONDERED IT THEY WERE LOOKING OUT ONE OF THEIR PORTALS, AS I PICKED IT UP, AND WENT, YUP, "MY GOD, IT'S AN ALTER CROSS." I MUST HAVE LOOKED PRETTY STRANGE WALKING AROUND THAT SHOP, WITH THIS BIG JESUS IN HAND, AND, ON THE WAY, I ALSO GOT RID OF ANY STRAY VAMPIRE-KIND WHO CROSSED MY PATH. I HAD FUN, HONESTLY, MUMBLING "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"
THE POINT I WANT TO MAKE, FOR THOSE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVE, THERE ARE NO GOOD FINDS LEFT OUT THERE, ESPECIALLY IN THE FRENZY OF COLLECTORS SWARMING CHARITY SHOPS….., YES INDEED, THERE ARE MANY, MANY SIGNIFICANT FINDS TO MAKE BUT IT NECESSITATES KNOWING YOUR ANTIQUE AND COLLECTABLE HISTORY. I HAVE A HUGE INTEREST IN COLLECTING ICONS, AND I'VE HAD MANY PRIMITIVE EXAMPLES IN THE PAST. THIS IS MY FIRST ALTER CROSS, AS SUCH, AND I WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO PAY THEIR MODEST ASKING PRICE. WHAT IS SO CURIOUS ABOUT THESE SHOPS, AND THEY DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER, IS WHEN THEY TAKE VERY COMMON AND NON-VALUABLE PIECES, AND THROW THEM INTO THEIR SHOWCASES, WITH INSANE PRICES, AND THEN PUT THE REALLY GOOD STUFF ON THE STORE SHELVES FOR A FRACTION OF WHAT THEY ARE WORTH. THEY ARE STRIKINGLY INCONSISTENT, AND PART OF THEIR PROBLEM, COMES FROM IMPROPER RESEARCH AND RELIANCE ON INTERNET SURFING TO FIND ALL THE ANSWERS. SUZANNE AND I, AND THE BOYS, RESEARCH EVERY DAY, BY READING WHATEVER WE CAN, TO UPGRADE OURSELVES, TO WHAT MAY COME ACROSS OUR PATHS THE VERY NEXT HOUR OR DAY. I WAS THE FIRST COLLECTOR THROUGH THE DOOR, WHO KNEW ALL ABOUT ALTER CROSSES. SO IT BECAME MINE. AS FAST AS MY HAND COULD CONNECT WITH THE CROSS. THE FIRST THING I DID TO TEST ITS METAL CONTENT, WAS RING THE BASE, WHICH IS BEAUTIFULLY BELL-LIKE, AND THIS CONFIRMED FOR ME, IT WASN'T A REPLICA.
I'VE HAD A THING, YOU MIGHT SAY, WITH CHARITY SHOPS IN THE PAST, AND I STILL FIND THEIR INCONSISTENCIES A LITTLE TROUBLING. I REMEMBER AN OCCASION IN OUR REGION, WHEN A CHARITY SHOP, BASED ON SOME STRANGE MANAGEMENT DECREE, WOULD NO LONGER SELL IMAGES OF THE VIRGIN MARY. I KNOW THIS FOR FACT, BECAUSE A BEAUTIFUL VICTORIAN ERA PRINT CAME IN AS A DONATION, IN AN AMAZINGLY ELABORATE MIRRORED FRAME. IT WAS A HUGE PIECE AND I BEGGED THE MANAGER TO LET ME KNOW WHEN IT WAS PRICED AND PUT ON THE FLOOR. WHICH BASICALLY WOULD HAVE ONLY MEANT, "TED, IT WILL BE PUT OUT AT 3 P.M. TOMORROW…..OR THE NEXT DAY, OR THE ONE AFTER THAT." I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. I AM QUICK TO EVALUATE, SO I WOULD HAVE WILLINGLY PAID A HUNDRED DOLLARS. WELL, THE MANAGER REFUSED TO BE PRESSURED BY CUSTOMERS. TWO WEEKS LATER, I FOUND IT LEANING AGAINST OTHER PICTURES, PAINT BY NUMBERS AND FRAMES. IT WAS MISSING THE ART WORK. I ASKED A SALE'S CLERK, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE VIRGIN MARY THAT WAS IN THE FRAME WHEN IT ARRIVED AS A DONATION. "WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SELL RELIGIOUS PICTURES ANYMORE." I WOULD HAVE HAD A STUNNED LOOK ON MY FACE, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT IT WAS PRETTY MUCH NORMAL WITH THESE FOLKS, AS RULES BECAME STRANGER AS TIME WENT ON. SO I ASKED IF THE PICTURE OF THE VIRGIN MARY MIGHT BE AVAILABLE "FOR FREE," IF IT COULDN'T BE SOLD. THE CLERK WENT TO ASK THE MANAGER, WHO SAID "NO" AND THE ONLY EXTRA INFORMATION, WAS THE CLERK TELLING ME, THAT IT HAD BEEN CRUMPLED UP, AND THROWN AWAY. THIS WAS A VICTORIAN GRAPHIC. EVEN IF THEY HAD GIVEN IT TO SOMEONE, I WOULD HAVE FELT BETTER. "IT'S STORE POLICY," SHE SAID, BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP THE SMOKE RISING FROM MY EARS. "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURE OF THE LAST SUPPER, OVER THERE," I ASKED. SHE LOOKED, AND JUST SHRUGGED HER SHOULDERS. I WAS ABLE TO FIND AT LEAST TEN EXAMPLES OF SIMILAR RELIGIOUS MATERIALS AND COLLECTABLES FOR SALE, IN THAT SHOP, AT THE SAME TIME. SO THAT MADE ME REAL ANGRY.
SO I MADE MANAGEMENT AWARE, EACH TIME I VISITED THEREAFTER, THE RELIGIOUS IMAGES AND OTHER ITEMS, THAT WERE BEING SOLD….INCLUDING AT LEAST THREE WITH THE IMAGE OF JESUS. ONE DAY, I SHOWED UP AT THE COUNTER, WHERE THE MANAGER WAS HOLDING A BRIEF POLICY MEETING, AND I INTERRUPTED THEIR NONSENSE, TO ASK IF I COULD PLEASE PAY FOR MY SEVERAL "RELIGIOUS" THEMED PURCHASES. THAT RAISED THE MANAGER'S EYEBROW. I PAID FOR THEM, AND WHILE THE CLERK WAS WRAPPING THEM, THE MANAGER ASKED IF I KNEW WHAT THEY WERE. I SAID, WITH A LITTLE EXTRA GLEE, "WHY YES, THESE ARE THE ORNAMENTAL NAME PLATES FROM THE TOPS OF COFFINS." IT WAS A JOY TO WATCH HER CHIN HIT THE COUNTER. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" "WELL, THESE WERE OBVIOUSLY FROM A FAMILY, WHO OPTED TO KEEP THE NAME PLATES OFF THE COFFINS, THEIR LOVED ONES WERE BURIED IN," I COUNTERED. "SEE, THEY'RE INSCRIBED, GIVING THE NAME, AGE AND DATE OF THE DECEASED, WITH A CROSS ETCHED ON TOP." THERE WERE THREE NAME PLATES GOING FOR A BUCK EACH. I ALSO COLLECT FUNERARY RELICS. AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK, AFTER THIS, I'D DO SOMETHING SIMILAR, TO PISS THEM OFF, BUT HONESTLY, IT WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE SILLY DIRECTIVES, THAT WAS PUT IN PLACE FOR A PERSONAL REASON…..AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE. I ONE DAY SHOWED UP AT THE COUNTER, AND ASKED IF THERE WAS ANY RESTRICTIONS ON SELLING "HOW TO" BOOKS, ON SCIENTOLOGY? "WE DON'T SELL BOOKS LIKE THAT IN THIS STORE…..YOU'LL HAVE TO DONATE THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE," WAS THEIR ANSWER. "I WASN'T ASKING WHETHER YOU WOULD ACCEPT THESE AS A DONATION," I QUIPPED. "I WONDERED WHAT YOUR POLICY WAS, ON THE BOOKS YOU'VE GOT ON THE SCIENTOLOGY COLLECTION ON THE BACK SHELF?" TALK ABOUT A SCRAMBLE. THOSE BOOKS BY L. RON HUBBARD CAME FLYING OFF THOSE SHELVES LIKE THEY WERE ON FIRE. ONCE AGAIN, THE CONTRADICTIONS WERE EVERYWHERE, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT BEAUTIFUL COLOR IMAGE OF THE VIRGIN MARY WAS LONG-GONE. I BOUGHT THE FRAME ANYWAY, AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT IT, WITH ITS NEW IMAGE WITHIN, I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF THE STRANGE WAY THESE SHOPS OPERATE; WITH POLICIES THAT ARE MORE ABOUT PERSONAL LIKES AND DISLIKES, MORESO THAN A POLICY THAT IS DEEPLY IMBEDDED IN THE CHARITABLE MISSION STATEMENT.
BACK TO THE TELEVISION AND MOVIE INFLUENCES, ON A FIFTY-SOMETHING ANTIQUE DEALER
I DON'T REALLY HAVE MUCH MORE TO WRITE ABOUT, ON THE INFLUENCES OF TELEVISION AND MOVIES ON THE WRITER, THE ANTIQUE DEALER, THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY GENERALIZED ABOUT, AT GREAT WORDY LENGTH.
I admit to having been a willing guinea pig for the electronic media, for most of my life. In therapy, I'm sure they would find that I've been adversely warped and emotionally scarred by the bombardment of television programming since childhood, but you know, I grew up a time when it was all a lot kinder I think, without so much graphic detail and special effects. They were pretty conservative, except the daring move later, to show the naked belly of Barbara Eden, on "I Dream of Jeannie."
If I was humanely influenced, by anything I witnessed back then, was it because I found the skit with Harpo Marx and Lucille Ball, one of the funniest several minute bits in television history? Is it possible, that my sense of right and wrong, was influenced by the philosophies of Uncle Joe, of the Shady Rest Hotel, on "Petticoat Junction," or Sam Drucker's kindnesses in running Kate Bradley's big tab, for hotel groceries….., or Gilligan's effervescent willingness to serve all those castaways stranded on "Gilligan's Island." I came from a good family, and while they were not church goers, they imposed Christian values in our small household. The shows I watched were pretty wholesome, when it came right down to assessing the themes, and the moral composition of each episode. Tell me that I wasn't in good hands with Granny, from "The Beverly Hillbillies?" Who could ask for a better role model than Herman Munster, of "The Munsters," or Mrs. Cleaver, of "Leave it to Beaver?" Every Sunday afternoon, I watched "Lassie," and was in the good company of Timmy and a fine dog…….that could pull any one out of a well, including me. Whenever I got in trouble anywhere, I silently called for Lassie to come and save my sorry ass.
Television and movies have changed a lot over the decades, and I've been there every day of the transition from then to now. So I am fully aware why they need parental warnings on so many shows these days. Could you imagine a warning on "The Danny Thomas Show," "Father Knows Best," or "Gunsmoke." Matt Dillon, Festus, and Chester…..even Miss Kitty; they were family, for gosh sakes. I know, I know, they were my Hollywood family, just like Hoss, from Bonanza, was the brother I always wanted. I was okay with being influenced by "The Waltons," and "Highway to Heaven (Michael Landon)," and I never missed an episode of "Little House on the Prairie," or even the contemporary Canadian namesake, "Little Mosque on the Prairie." I was a regular at Molly's Reach, every Sunday night, for "The Beachcombers," and what fun it was to visit with "The Irish Rovers," and "Sonny and Cher."
As a married couple, Suzanne and I have enjoyed many television hours with our favorite shows, like "Dallas," and "Cheers;" "Fraser," "Coronation Street," "St. Elsewhere," "Chicago Hope," "E.R.," "Third Watch," and "Seinfeld." We have sat together, had our tea and treats, and had some really good nights in our comfortable chairs here at Birch Hollow. This is our evening recreation. While we admit to being a little frustrated these days by what we can't watch any more, without paying the big bucks for additional service, we have found "The Big Bang Theory," one of our favorites, along with "Grey's Anatomy," "Criminal Minds," "The Mentalist (a fabulous show)," and "Blue Bloods," which is certainly right up there with the best shows we've ever watched.
And we watch "Kitchen Nightmares," with Chef Ramsey…..and "The Amazing Race," that we like much more than "Survivor."
As an antique dealer, I've got to tell you, "The Big Bang Theory," is huge for nerd-kind, in the fact, so much of the routine sitcom showcase deals with science fiction, and comic book culture….and all the related merchandise available, past and present. We don't collect these ourselves but we still find it neat subject matter that's good for the collectable market place. For those who sell these collectables, I'm sure they're delighted by the exposure this award winning show provides the industry. As an antique dealer, my favorite was "The Ghost Whisperer," because the main character owned an antique shop. Hey, regardless what you watch, perspective is key. Entertainment is what I'm looking for most of all, but a little moral enlightenment now and again is a brush-up I'd willingly pay attention to……just like when I imagined myself part of the show, "My Three Sons," (as a needy kid with no brothers of my own), or sitting with Sheriff Andy Taylor and Aunt Bea, on that glorious front verandah, of that famous house, on "Andy of Mayberry." I would have even clambered into that cell with Otis, to get one of those famous country breakfasts, Barney used to bring him from the restaurant…..to cure what ailed him. Good times. Honestly, I am glad I experienced television in the 1960's in particular, because of their high calibre acting and story-lines, and the reality, each one, in their own way, invited viewers inside…..to connect; something that has become much less compelling and welcoming ever since.
Thanks for dropping by today for a little visit. It's great to have some company. Lot's more media influences to debate. Next, the movies! Then the fright nights my mother warned me about, and the coming of "The Venus Man." The alien invaders! Please visit again soon.
Please visit my other blog at http://muskokaaswaldenpond.blogspot.ca
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