Selling Vintage Clothing in an Antique Shop

DO ANTIQUE DEALERS HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?

DRY, SUBTLE, RESERVED BUT YES INDEED, WE KNOW HOW TO CRACK A JOKE, TAKE SOME RIBBING, AND PARTAKE OF A PRACTICAL JOKE

IT DOESN'T COME UP A LOT. I'VE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT I SUPPOSE THE GENERAL PUBLIC PROBABLY THINKS ANTIQUE DEALERS ARE A DULL CROWD, OF FURNITURE RE-FINISHING, CHINA POSSESSING, SILVER HUGGING, GLASS EMBRACING, COLLECTORS OF EVERYTHING….WHO COULDN'T POSSIBLY AFFORD THE DOWN TIME TO LAUGH OUT LOUD….OR EVEN TO THEMSELVES. THE OUTSIDER MIGHT EVEN ASSUME, THAT SHOULD AN ANTIQUE DEALER LAUGH, IT MUST BE DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO A REALLY BIG TREASURE FIND. YOU KNOW….THE COVETOUS, NEAR GUILTY CHORTLE OF SOMEONE PONDERING THE A NEAR-SINFUL PROPERTY GAIN. WELL, THAT'S HOLLYWOOD FOR YOU. WE'RE A LOT DIFFERENT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. WE SMILE TWICE EACH SPRING, AND ONCE IN THE FALL. AH, STEREOTYPES. WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THEM?

WOULD A HUNDRED ANTIQUE DEALERS, IN A ROOM, CONSTITUTE A RIOT, A PARTY, OR A GENERAL MEETING, THAT STEPHEN LEACOCK MIGHT WELL HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT, IN HIS "SUNSHINE SKETCHES OF A LITTLE TOWN?" MIGHT YOU DETECT ANY SENSE OF RECKLESS ABANDON, UNRESERVED WILDNESS, IN COMPANY OF A BAKER'S DOZEN, OF ARDENT ANTIQUE DEALERS, ON A CROSS COUNTRY ROAD TRIP? PROBABLY NOT. IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE ZEAL FOR LIFE, AND IT'S LIKELY SIX OF THAT DOZEN HAVE READ "ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE." HALF OF THAT NUMBER MAY HAVE EVEN BEEN TRIPPING AT WOODSTOCK. IT CAN BE SAID, WITHOUT TOO MUCH OF A STRETCH, AS THE GOOD MR. LEACOCK MIGHT HAVE OBSERVED, THERE IS A QUIET DIGNITY, AND TRADITION OF MODEST PROPORTION TO THE ART AND PROFESSION OF COLLECTING OLD STUFF. WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN, BUT IT'S THE FUN OF LIFE ITSELF, AND JUST BECAUSE OUR RESERVED GOOD HUMOUR, DOESN'T JUMP OUT AND START BALL ROOM DANCING, DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T WHEN THE RIGHT MUSIC COMES ALONG.

IN MY OLD BASEMENT SHOP, SITUATED IN UPTOWN BRACEBRIDGE, THIS RESERVE OF GOOD HUMOR KEPT ME FROM DELVING INTO THE ACCOUNTING BOOKS, THAT WOULD HAVE REVEALED, AT THAT TIME, MY PROFESSION WAS AS SEAWORTHY AS A SPONGE. WITH MY REGULAR VISITORS, THE HANGERS-ON WHO KEPT ME FROM GOING BONKERS IN THE SILENCE OF POOR-BUSINESS, WE SHARED A LOT OF JOKES, ON AND OFF COLOR, AND REMINISCED ABOUT FOIBLES OF THE PAST. I SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO DOUBLE THOSE FROM ANYONE ELSE…..WHICH MEANT, I WAS A PRETTY HAPHAZARD, COMICAL KIND OF GUY…..FOR AN ANTIQUE DEALER. ON THESE OCCASIONS, I WAS MORE THE WRITER IN RESIDENCE THAN THE DEALER IN HIS SHOP. TRUTH IS, RUNNING A SHOP HAD ITS COMICAL MOMENTS. UNEXPECTED EVENTS. I CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS, AS COMPARED TO RESTAURANTS, GROCERY STORES, GIFT SHOPS, OR TRAVEL AGENCIES. FOR SOME REASON, OUR LITTLE SHOP ON MANITOBA STREET, INSPIRED ODD BEHAVIOR IN ALL WHO SPENT TIME HERE. EVEN THE WEE MICE IN THE NOOKS AND CRANNIES WERE HIPPIES. I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. SO HOW WOULD YOU REACT?

ONE SATURDAY AFTERNOON, IN JULY, I WAS ITCHING TO CLOSE UP THE SHOP. I HATED WORKING SATURDAYS ALONE, BECAUSE IT COULD GET QUITE BUSY, IN-SEASON THAT IS, AND I WAS NOT A VERY PATIENT SALES CLERK ANY TIME OF THE DAY. THE PROBLEM WITH OUR SHOP LOCATION, IS THAT IF I DIDN'T GET THE DOORS SHUT BY SIX, THE MOVIE CROWD WOULD ARRIVE AT THE RESTAURANT NEXT DOOR. WHAT THEY WOULD DO, FIRST, IS GRAB A TABLE IN THE RESTAURANT, AND A FEW OF THE PARTY WOULD COME OVER TO OUR SHOP TO KILL TIME. I KNEW THEY WERE GOING TO THE SHOW AT SEVEN, JUST DOWN THE STREET, AND WERE MAKING A NIGHT OF IT……INCLUDING A VISIT TO THE ANTIQUE SHOP. BY THIS TIME I WAS TRULY EXHAUSTED. HUNGRY. SWEATY. AND NEEDING A VERY LARGE AND COLD BEER. ON THIS PARTICULAR OCCASION, A GROUP OF YOUNG MEN, FROM A LARGER GROUP, ARRIVED IN MY SHOP, AND BEGAN FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE VINTAGE CLOTHING SUZANNE HAD RECENTLY RESTORED. THEY INCLUDED EVERYTHING FROM 1950'S PROM DRESSES, TO MUCH MORE FORMAL ATTIRE. I THINK WE EVEN HAD A COUPLE OF POODLE SKIRTS. LET ME TELL YOU HOW I DREADED THAT RACK OF VINTAGE WOMEN'S CLOTHES. AS I AM A FAR MORE TRADITIONAL ANTIQUE DEALER, WITH A LOVE OF BOOKS AND FURNITURE, I'M GOING TO BE VERY FREE TELLING YOU ABOUT THE VIRTUES OF A PINE FLAT-TO-THE-WALL, OR AN ANTIQUE SIDEBOARD, THAN HOW YOU LOOK IN A POODLE SKIRT OR A PROM DRESS. WE HAVE OUR SPECIALTIES AND FAVORITES, AND I HADN'T EXPECTED TO BE IN THE CLOTHING BUSINESS.

NOW MY FEELING HERE, WAS THAT THESE CHAPS WOULD HAVE A QUICK LOOK ABOUT, MAKE SOME COMMENTS ABOUT THE STUFF I DIDN'T HAVE, OR SHOULD HAVE, AND RACE BACK FOR THEIR CHOW MEIN IN ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES FROM POINT OF ENTRY. GEEZ, THEY WENT TO THAT RACK. LIKE HOMING PIGEONS. WHILE I'M A WELL TRAVELLED MAN, AS A REPORTER, AND IF YOU WANT TO DON A DRESS OR PLACE KNICKERS OVER YOUR HEAD, I'M GOOD WITH THAT…..AS LONG AS YOU DON'T ASK ME WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE…..OR IF YOU SHOULD BUY IT, BASED ON MY EXPERT OPINION. HORROR OF HORRORS, THESE VISITORS BEGAN TRYING ON ALL THE DRESSES. THE BLOUSES, THE SKIRTS, THE WRAP-AROUNDS, EVEN SOME VERY OLD BLOOMERS AND A CORSET FROM VICTORIAN TIMES. IF YOU HAD BEEN LISTENING, YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD AN EVERSO FAINT "HELP ME, PLEASE, HELP ME." I'M VERY EASILY EMBARRASSED, AND IT MUST HAVE SHOWN PRETTY SHARPLY, AGAINST THE WHITE WALL BEHIND ME. AND SUZANNE HAD COMMANDED ME, AS USUAL, TO WATCH THE RACK FOR ANY MISHANDLING OF THE VINTAGE CLOTHING, BUT THAT USUALLY MEANT, THE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM CONES, KIDS OFTEN BROUGHT INTO THE SHOP….BEFORE I COULD STOP THEM.

SO HERE, THEN, IN THIS FRENZY OF DRESS FITTING, WHEN I VICIOUSLY NEEDED A SHOWER, A BEER, A CHAISE LOUNGE AND SERENITY NOW, I WAS GETTING REQUESTS FOR INFORMATION, ABOUT EACH OF THE ITEMS BEING MODELED IN FRONT. BUT WHAT I'M REALLY GETTING INSTEAD, IS A FASHION PARADE OF YOUNG MEN IN PROM DRESSES AND POODLE SKIRTS, WALKING AROUND THE STORE. WHETHER THEY WERE PULLING MY LEG, OR THEY GENUINELY WERE INTERESTED IN WEARING THIS ATTIRE, I COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT SAY…..EVEN UNDER MY BREATH. IT WAS WHEN I WAS ASKED TO MAKE COMMENT ON HOW THEY LOOKED, ALL DRESSED-UP, THAT PULLED MY CAPABILITIES AS TAUT AS THEY'VE EVER BEEN. I WAS SWEATING WITH FEAR ABOUT HAVING TO PROVIDE SOME FASHION COMMENTARY. GADS, WHAT DOES A GUY LIKE ME, WHO HAS NO FASHION SENSE WHATSOEVER, TELL A GUY WEARING A 1950'S PROM DRESS, ABOUT HIS LEVEL OF ATTRACTIVENESS? I MEAN IT'S WELL AFTER CLOSING, AND I'VE BEEN HAULING HEAVY FURNITURE FOR MOST OF THE DAY, SELLING BASEBALL AND HOCKEY CARDS FOR THE OTHER PART, AND THEN HAVING TO SELL EMBROIDERED HANKIES TO PERSNICKETY OLDER LADIES, WHO DEMAND MY UTMOST ATTENTION…..AND MAY WANT A DATE. WHAT WORDS COULD THE "WRITER-CURRIE" COMPOSE, TO GET ME OUT OF THIS UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION? NOT THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THEIR ACTIONS. IN FACT, THEY WERE VERY POLITE AND KIND THROUGH THE WHOLE UNCOMFORTABLE EVENT.

THE PROBLEM WAS ENTIRELY MINE. NOT PREJUDICIAL. JUST NOT POSSESSING THE PATIENCE AND CAPABILITY, AT THAT TIME OF THE DAY, TO OFFER ANYTHING BUT THE TRUTH. SO THINKING REAL HARD, ON A BUDGET OF TIME, (THEIR DINNER WAS BEING SERVED NEXT DOOR) AND WITH JUST MOISTENED LIPS, SO AS NOT TO SOUND OR APPEAR MORE NERVOUS THAN MY RED FACE REVEALED, (AND OF COURSE A SENSE OF DUTY TO MY PROFESSION TO TURN A PROFIT), I ANSWERED WITH THE CONFIDENCE AND STATURE OF A WORLD COMMENTATOR.

"IT LOOKS DEVINE. IT'S YOU. I LOVE IT. WILL THAT BE CASH OR CREDIT CARD?" I FELT LIKE A SELL-OUT FOR A QUICK BUCK, BUT THEY SEEMED HAPPY WITH WHAT I TOLD THEM. I WASN'T REALLY LIEING TO THEM, BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LOOK BAD, IN THE CLOTHING WHATSOEVER. YOU KNOW, I HAD A DIFFICULT TIME TELLING THIS SAME STORY TO SUZANNE, WHEN I GOT HOME THAT NIGHT. SO WHEN I FINISHED UP, BY SAYING THAT THEY LOOKED SURPRISINGLY GOOD, WITH HER DRESSES ON, SHE GAVE ME THAT QUESTIONING GLANCE……AND I RESPONDED IN KIND. "DEAR, I'M JUST NOT INTO THAT. SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME AND MY MID-LIFE CRAZY."

NOW BEFORE JUDGING ME HARSHLY, LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS A SOLID, MIDDLE OF THE ROAD ANSWER. I COULD HAVE BEEN MORE SWEET AND EMPHATIC, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, I COULD HAVE SAID, "YOU LOOK HORRIBLE. YOU MAKE THAT POODLE LOOK LIKE A BULLDOG." TRUTH IS, YOU KNOW, THEY ALL LOOKED PRETTY GOOD, AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THEY BOUGHT THREE OF THE VINTAGE PIECES, AND CAME BACK THE NEXT DAY FOR THE ANTIQUE BLOOMERS. SUZANNE WAS WORKING THAT DAY. SO I GOT MY SHOWER, MY LOUNGE ON THE DECK, MY BEER, AND SERENITY, AND A NICE DEPOSIT FOR THE NEXT MORNING. SUZANNE COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS CAPABLE OF MAKING THAT SALE. BONUS FOR ME. I LOVE BEATING HER ON STUFF LIKE THIS, WHEN SHE COUNTS ON MY MALE-NESS TO GET IN THE WAY OF SELLING VINTAGE ITEMS OF A MORE DELICATE NATURE. I REMIND HER HOW MANY LACE DOILIES I HAVE SOLD OVER THE DECADES, AND QUILTS AND AFGHANS, TABLE CLOTHES AND NAPKINS, AND NEVER FELT IT WAS A STRETCH FROM MY STANDING IN THE ANTIQUE COMMUNITY. FUNNY THING THOUGH. THE ABOVE SCENARIO WITH THE LADS, TRYING ON THE DRESSES, HAD A REVERSE SIDE THAT I NEVER TOLD SUZANNE ABOUT……UNTIL NOW. YOU SEE, SHE WON'T READ MY BLOGS, SO THIS IS THE OXYMORON OF "HIDING IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN." UNLESS OF COURSE YOU TELL HER. THAT WOULDN'T BE NICE.

I WORRIED ABOUT THAT VINTAGE CLOTHING RACK A LOT. SUZANNE IS VERY PROFICIENT AT SEWING, AND MAKING REPAIRS ON VINTAGE CLOTHING. SHE HAS EVEN DONE SOME MODIFICATIONS FOR CUSTOMERS IN THE PAST, TO REDUCE OR INCREASE SIZES TO SUIT THE CUSTOMER. AS AN ANTIQUE DEALER, WHO WANTS TO HAVE AN ENTHUSED AND PROFITABLE PARTNERSHIP, I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY AGREED THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A SECTION FOR THE VINTAGE CLOTHING WE FIND OUT ON THE SALE CIRCUIT, AT ESTATE SALES, AND AT AUCTION. I'VE SEEN THE SALES FIGURES. I CAN LIVE WITH THOSE NUMBERS. THE PROBLEM, IN OUR STORE, WAS THAT WE SIMPLY DIDN'T HAVE A CHANGE ROOM. NOTHING. WE DID HAVE A LOT OF TALL SHELVING IN THE CENTRE OF THE SHOP, THAT COULD, IN A PINCH, ACT AS A TEMPORARY PRIVACY SHIELD. PROVIDING THAT MEMBERS OF THE LIARS CLUB WEREN'T HOLDING ONE OF THEIR DAILY MEETINGS AT BIRCH HOLLOW. FORTUNATELY, THIS NEVER HAPPENED IN THAT HALF DECADE, WE WERE IN THAT BASEMENT SHOP. THEIR POTENTIALLY CRUDE COMMENTS WOULD SINK MY BATTLESHIP. NOW THAT WOLD HAVE BEEN A TOUGH ONE TO NAVIGATE. A SORT OF OPEN-AIR CHANGE ROOM AND SOME CRUSTY OLD MEN, WHO MISTAKENLY THOUGHT THEY WERE HOT STUFF DESPITE THE OLD PACKAGE, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SECRET VOYEUR'S AT THEIR LEISURE.

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I WAS ALONE IN THE SHOP WHEN THIS SITUATION TRANSPIRED. AFTER GETTING ROBERT OFF TO KINDERGARTEN AT BRACEBRIDGE PUBLIC SCHOOL, FOR AFTERNOON CLASS, I MET A WOMAN AT THE DOOR, JUST COMING FOR A LOOK-SEE. I OPENED THE DOOR, INVITED HER IN, AND LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT, SHE HIT THAT RACK OF OLD CLOTHES. NOW THAT WASN'T THE WORSE CASE SCENARIO BY ANY MEANS, BECAUSE WE DID HAVE MANY FOLKS BUY PIECES WITHOUT TRYING THEM ON. A LOT OF THE NOSTALGIA DRESSES WERE TO BE USED AS DECORATIONS, IN BEDROOMS ETC., SO THERE WAS NO NEED TO OFFER A DRESSING ROOM. THIS YOUNG LADY WAS INTERESTED IN A DRESS TO WEAR. SHE WAS ONE OF ABOUT TEN, IN THOSE YEARS, WHO CHALLENGED ME TO BE A BETTER, KINDER, MORE COMPASSIONATE, STORE CLERK. WHILE THERE WAS NO STOPPING THE BLUSH…..NO MATTER HOW USED-TO THIS I GOT, HAVING A HALF NAKED WOMAN WAVERING BEHIND A STACK OF BOOKS, WAS STILL, TO ME, AN EMBARRASSING SITUATION. I CAN REMEMBER THE RUSH OF FEAR THAT WHILE THIS WOMEN WAS TRYING ON A DRESS, MY CRONIES WOULD TRUNDLE DOWN THOSE STAIRS IN A GROUP, SPILLING COFFEE AND LAUGHING LIKE THE MADMEN THEY WERE, AND STARTLING THIS POOR SOUL HALF TO DEATH. THE TROUBLE FOR ME, AS IT WAS WITH THE GENTS, WAS BEING ASKED MY OPINION OF THE OUTFIT, WHETHER BLOUSE, VEST, DRESS, OR SKIRT. I GET IN TROUBLE NOW, WHEN SUZANNE ASKS ME IF SHE LOOKS OKAY IN SOME OUTFIT, AND SHE SUSPECTS I'M LIEING OUT OF DISINTEREST. SO WHEN THIS GIRL DEMANDED MY HONEST OPINION, AND THEN WANTED TO DISCUSS MY FINDINGS, BY GOLLY, I THOUGH MY FACE WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. I WANTED TO SAY, "LADY, I'M AN ANTIQUE DEALER…..I HAVE NO RIGHT TO AN OPINION." BUT I DIDN'T. I BECAME, BY SOME STRANGE BENEVOLENCE, OR OSMOSIS OF INNER CHILD, A VERY ASTUTE AND HELPFUL COMMENTATOR, ON THE WAY THE ARTICLE HUNG FROM HER HIPS, WITHOUT ONCE GETTING THE GIGGLES, OR MAKING ANY MISTAKES WITH WORDS, PRESENTATION, OR INNUENDO. I DID HAVE THIS THOUGHT, ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF SUZANNE GRACING THAT UPPER DOORWAY, AND YELLING DOWN, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TED?" SO, I TOLD THE CHARMING WOMAN, TRYING ON THE SKIRT AND BLOUSE, THAT SHE RADIATED LOVELINESS, AND THE FIT WAS AS IF TAILORED TO HER PRECISE MEASUREMENTS……THE COLORS WERE MAGICAL AGAINST HER AUBURN HAIR. THEN I WROTE OUT THE RECEIPT, AND ACCEPTED THE PURCHASE PRICE. IF THERE WAS ANY WEAKNESS IN THE WHOLE EFFORT, IT WAS THE REALITY I HAD NO BLESSED IDEA HOW TO FOLD A SKIRT AND BLOUSE, AS THE ONLY REAL PRACTICE I HAD WAS STUFFING THE DRAWER IN MY DRESSER, AND LOADING UP A BAG OF HOCKEY EQUIPMENT. YES INDEED, IT HERALDED A BEGINNING OF REFINEMENT IN THE NUANCES OF THE REVISED ANTIQUE TRADE. I HAD ON THE JOB TRAINING. I'D PROVEN SOMETHING TO MYSELF….THAT THERE WAS MORE TO THE ANTIQUE ENTERPRISE THAN CRYSTAL VASES, SPINNING WHEELS, PEWTER, COPPER, AND PORCELAIN. CUSTOMERS DID A LOT OF PINGING AND SPINNING ON THAT STUFF, BUT IT WAS THE TRYING ON OF WOMEN'S CLOTHES, THAT BLEW MY MIND, TO WHAT CUSTOMERS REALLY THOUGHT WAS NEAT ABOUT OUR BASEMENT BUSINESS. "MR. CURRIE EVEN HELPED ME ZIP UP MY DRESS!" THAT WAS THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO THAT NEVER HAPPENED. I REALLY DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE TOLD SUZANNE THAT, AND NOT EXPECTED TO BE SLEEPING, ONCE AGAIN, ON THE VERANDAH HERE AT BIRCH HOLLOW.

WE'VE BEEN BUYING AND SELLING VINTAGE CLOTHING EVER SINCE. I DRAW THE LINE AT ANTIQUE UNDERWEAR. NO WAY.

Souvenirs, Collectables and England

A HAIR'S BREADTH FROM FEBRUARY -

A GROUND HOG IS ABOUT TO EMERGE - WE COULD USE SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER

I HAVE WRITTEN-UP A SHORT BLOG, ON MY MUSKOKA AS WALDEN SITE, WRAPPING UP THE PAST MONTH, WORKING ON THE SONG THE BOYS, ANDREW AND ROBERT, PLANNED TO PRESENT TO THE GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL COMMITTEE. THIS WAS DONE LAST THURSDAY EVENING. THE SONG WAS CREATED AND DONATED, TO USE AT THEIR DISCRETION, AS A PROMOTION FOR THE 2012 EVENT IN FEBRUARY. I TALKED WITH BOTH LADS, EXHAUSTED AFTER YESTERDAY'S FILMING AT GULL LAKE PARK, (WITH SKOKIE, AND BANDMATES OF THE GROUP "PRESSURE POINT,") AND AS USUAL, THEY ARE WORRIED WHETHER THE PUBLIC AND THE CARNIVAL COMMITTEE WILL FEEL IT LIVES UP TO ALL THE HYPE. IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE MOM AND POP SLAPPING THEM ON THE BACKS……OR HEARING IT FROM BAND-MATES AND LONG-TIME FRIENDS, WHO MAY FEEL OBLIGED TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT THE EFFORT. ROB IS VERY INTENSE ABOUT HIS CREATIVE PROJECTS, AND I'VE HAD MANY CHATS WITH HIM ABOUT GOING BACK ON PAST WORK. AS HE ALSO HAS INTERESTS IN WRITING, AND HAS A BLOG FOR HIS BUSINESS, I'VE GIVEN HIM AN OLD AUTHOR'S ADVICE, THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME……BY AN OLD AUTHOR WHEN I WAS HAVING A DEPRESSED MOMENT OF RETROSPECTIVE. I ASKED THIS WRITER / ENGLISH PROFESSOR IF SHE EVER RE-READ HER BOOKS, ONCE THEY HAD BEEN PUBLISHED. "NEVER, NEVER WOULD I DO THAT," SHE BLURTED, LIKE I HAD COMMITTED A LITERARY CRIME BY EVEN SUGGESTING THIS. "WHEN YOU'VE READ THE MANUSCRIPT OVER AND OVER, AND ENGAGED MANY RE-WRITES, AND CORRECTED EVEN YOUR CORRECTIONS, YOU LET IT GO, AND NEVER LOOK BACK. JUST CASH THE ROYALTY CHEQUES WHEN THEY COME." IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME SPEECH I'VE GIVEN ROBERT, WHO WILL OBSESS ABOUT THE THINGS HE SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER, VERSUS WHAT HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE THAT WORKS. IT'S THE PERIL OF CREATIVITY, THAT ONE DOESN'T ALWAYS KNOW WHEN TO STOP CREATING, FOR A MOMENT'S ENJOYMENT OF THE CREATION AT HAND.

FOR A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THESE THOUGHTS ON THE WINTER CARNIVAL SONG, YOU CAN VIEW MY BLOG BY CLICKING ON http://muskokaaswaldenpond.blogspot.com/

IF YOU MISSED THE PREVIOUS TWO WINTER CARNIVAL BLOGS, ON THIS SITE, YOU CAN SEARCH BACK A COUPLE OF DAYS TO FIND THEM.

SOUVENIRS AND WHY WE BUY THEM. IT ISN'T FOR THE INVESTMENT VALUE. BUT SOMETIMES IT WORKS OUT THAT WAY.

WHEN YOU BROWSE THROUGH A THRIFT SHOP, A CHURCH FUNDRAISING SALE, SECOND HAND STORE, OR VISIT FLEA MARKETS AND YARDS SALES, I GUARANTEE YOU, SOMEONE'S TRAVEL SOUVENIRS WILL BE UP FOR GRABS. A LITTLE LESS ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE THEY WERE PURCHASED POTENTIALLY ON ANOTHER CONTINENT, OR OTHER PROVINCES, STATES, AND ON HOLIDAYS THAT YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY DIDN'T GET TO ENJOY. THESE WERE PART OF SOMEONE ELSE'S TRAVEL MEMORIES, AND WHILE POIGNANT AT THE TIME, LOST THEIR LUSTER BECAUSE THE THRILL OF THE ADVENTURE IS A FADING REALITY. THERE ARE OF COURSE, SOME SOUVENIRS THAT MAINTAIN THEIR VALUE NONE THE LESS. THESE INCLUDE CULTURAL AND HISTORIC ART, CRAFTS, JEWELRY, HAND-MADE ITEMS OF CLOTHING, HATS, BLANKETS, RUGS, AND ADORNMENTS LIKE SHAWLS. THERE ARE MANY OTHER EXAMPLES. YOU CAN FIND THESE AT SECOND HAND SHOPS, PARTICULARLY CHARITY STORES, AND IF YOU CHECK OUT THE RACK WHERE THERE ARE BEDSPREADS, BLANKETS AND QUILTS, YOU WILL UNDOUBTEDLY FIND PRODUCTS FROM SCOTLAND, IRELAND, DENMARK, HOLLAND, BELGIUM, AND EVEN FROM SOUTH AMERICA, FROM WEAVING TO WOOLEN BLANKETS. MANY OF THESE PIECES WERE BROUGHT TO CANADA AS USEFUL HOUSEHOLD ITEMS……UNLIKE THE BETTER KNOWN DECORATIVE SOUVENIRS, LIKE CUPS AND SAUCERS AND WALL-HANGING PLATES, THAT APPEAR IN HUGE NUMBERS ALL OVER THE SECOND HAND MARKETPLACE. DESIRED ONCE, BUT MUCH LESS DESIRABLE ON THE REBOUND.

THE SOUVENIRS THAT ENDURE, ARE PRETTY MUCH THE ONES ABOVE, THAT HAVE PRACTICAL, FASHION AND GENERAL HOUSEHOLD USE. HAND CRAFTED ART PIECES, PAINTINGS, SCULPTURES, CARVINGS AND TEXTILE ART, LACE, WEAVING, TO RUGS, ARE THE KIND OF DECORATIVE SOUVENIR THAT HOLDS VALUE IN PERPETUITY, IN LARGE PART, BECAUSE OF THE HIGH QUALITY OF THE WORKMANSHIP. CERAMIC AND GLASS SOUVENIRS ARE OKAY, AND WE HAVE BEEN SELLING THESE HERE IN MUSKOKA, SINCE THE LATE 1800'S, BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT STRICTLY FROM THE REGION WHERE THEY ARE AVAILABLE, THEY DON'T TEND TO BE THE MOST COVETED ITEMS AFTER THE ORIGINAL ON-SITE PURCHASE. I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE FROM MY EARLIEST DAYS AS A COLLECTOR, AND WHAT SOUVENIRS I WANTED TO BRING HOME FROM ENGLAND.

IT WAS THE EARLY SPRING OF 1974. I WAS IN A BAND. A BIG ONE. IT WAS LED BY WELL KNOWN CONDUCTOR, JOHN RUTHERFORD, AND THE STUDENTS MAKING UP THE SENIOR TOURING BAND, WERE FROM BRACEBRIDGE AND MUSKOKA LAKES SECONDARY SCHOOL. I THINK OUR MOTTO WAS, "SEND SOME NOISE TO ENGLAND." I HAVE THANKED MR. RUTHERFORD MANY TIMES SINCE, FOR THINKING ENOUGH OF ME, AND THE BENEFIT AN OVERSEAS ADVENTURE WOULD DO FOR A BUDDING WRITER, TO HAVE INCLUDED ME IN THE SENIOR BAND THAT GLORIOUS YEAR. IT WAS DAMN CLOSE CALL YOU SEE. I HADN'T BEEN STRONG ENOUGH, AS A BARITONE PLAYER, TO THAT POINT, TO HAVE MADE THE CUT. I'D BEEN IN THE MUSIC PROGRAM FOR THE PREVIOUS FOUR YEARS. JOHN WAS DETERMINED, BY MY FINAL YEAR, TO SHAPE ME UP FOR THE BIG LEAGUE. IT WAS THE YEAR ABOUT SEVENTY BAND-MATES WERE GOING ON A PLAYING TOUR OF ENGLAND. THE DAY HE TOLD ME I WAS IN THE BAND, WELL SIR, I DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY, BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY, AND SCARED OUT OF MY MIND AT THE SAME TIME. AS JOHN POINTED OUT, "WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO TED." I COMPLIED. I WORKED AS HARD AS I COULD TO EARN HIS TRUST. I WAS NOT THE BEST, THAT'S FOR SURE, BUT I THINK JOHN KNEW I WAS COMMITTED TO IMPROVING MY PLAYING, CONCERT BY CONCERT. BY LETTING ME GO ON THAT LIFE-CHANGING ENGLAND TOUR, HE OPENED UP A WORLD OF OPPORTUNITY……AND I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF HE KNEW JUST HOW INFLUENTIAL HIS TRUST WAS, THEN AND ALL THESE YEARS LATER. HE MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONLY TEACHER, WHO FIGURED THERE HAD TO BE SOMETHING WITH THIS CURRIE KID, BENEATH THE HIPPY HAIR AND THE GENERAL ATTENTION DEFICIT. I WAS GOOD AT BOTH. I COULD HAVE GOT AN "A" IN PERPETUITY, FOR MY ABILITY TO ZONE OUT. I NEVER REALLY GOT BACK FROM WOODSTOCK, YOU KNOW.

AT THIS TIME, I WAS VERY INTERESTED IN WRITING, AND IN FACT, I WROTE A JOURNAL OF THE TRIP ON AIR CANADA STATIONARY, BOTH IN THE AIR, AND WHILE TRAVELLING ABOUT IN ENGLAND. I WAS ALSO A BUDDING COLLECTOR, AT THE SAME TIME, AND IT WAS A SOUVENIR BONANZA GOING THROUGH THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE, STOPPING ALONG THE WAY FOR WEE VISITS…..AND PERFORMANCES. I DIDN'T BUY ANY ROYALTY MEMORABILIA, BUT I WASN'T ON THE GROUND MORE THAN A FEW HOURS, AND I'D BOUGHT AN UMBRELLA, AND A TWEED PEAK CAP. ALL THE LADS DID. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING TO LOOK AT THE BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES, TO SEE HOW CANADIANS FIGURED THEY COULD BECOME BRITISH BY ADORNMENTS ALONE. THE GIRLS DID SOMEWHAT THE SAME, THOUGH I CAN'T BE SURE IF THEY BOUGHT UMBRELLAS TOO. A LITTLE EXPENSIVE, THIS ENTERPRISE, BUT WE WANTED TO FULLY CELEBRATE THIS IMMERSION INTO, WHAT SOME OF US RIGHTFULLY CALLED, OUR ANCESTRAL CULTURE. FULL ENGLISH BREAKFASTS AND BANGERS AND BEANS FOR LUNCH. ROAST BEEF AND YORKIES (YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS) FOR SUPPER. FOR THE SEVERAL WEEKS WE WERE IN ENGLAND, WE LOOKED FOR EVERYTHING WE COULD, THAT, IN OUR OPINION, REFLECTED BRITISH VALUES. IN FACT, WE ATE BANGERS AND BEANS A LOT, (I MEAN THIS….IT WAS LIKE A SCENE OUT OF BLAZING SADDLES, BACK AT THE UNIVERSITY DORMITORY) IN ADDITION TO CRUMPETS, ECCLES CAKES, AND WE ALL SUCKED BACK GALLONS OF TEA. AND WE ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY FITTING, WE SHOULD BE CLOAKED IN BRITISH-WARE. FROM SHOES AND PANTS, TO SWEATERS, TWEED JACKETS, AND AN ARRAY OF PEAK CAPS……MAKING US GENTS RATHER DAPPER, OR SO THE GIRLS IN THE BAND THOUGHT…..OR AT LEAST WE HOPED THEY THOUGHT! TWO OF THE YOUNG LADIES THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE A YOUNG BENNY HILL. WHILE THE REST THOUGHT I WAS CHIP OFF THE MONTY PYTHON BLOCK!

WHEN WE TRAVELLED NORTH TO NOTTINGHAM, WHERE WE WERE SCHEDULED TO STAY WITH HOST FAMILIES, BAND MEMBERS STARTED BUYING AND COLLECTING AS MUCH LOCAL MEMORABILIA AS THEY COULD. I HAD A NUMBER OF INTERESTING EXPERIENCES THIS WAY MYSELF. THE FAMILY I WAS STAYING WITH, HAD A TICKET FOR ME, TO ATTEND A FOOTBALL (SOCCER) GAME, BETWEEN BLACKPOOL AND NOTTINGHAM FOREST. "BUT YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT SCARF TED, I'M AFRAID, OR YOU'LL BE CARRYING YOUR HEAD UNDER YOUR ARM," SAID MY NEW ENGLISH MATE. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN," I HAD TO ASK. "WELL, THAT SCARF YOU BROUGHT FROM CANADA, REPRESENTS THE COLORS OF BLACKPOOL, AND AS WE ARE GOING TO BE SITTING IN THE NOTTINGHAM SECTION OF THE STADIUM, IT WOULDN'T BE A GOOD IDEA AT ALL, TO WEAR THOSE COLORS…..UNLESS OF COURSE YOU WISH TO BE BEATEN SENSELESS." I'D BEEN READING UP ON THE OFTEN VIOLENT AFTERMATHS OF THESE BRITISH MATCHES, SO I CERTAINLY DIDN'T HAVE TO BE TOLD TWICE ABOUT SCARF APPROPRIATENESS. THEY GAVE ME A NOTTINGHAM SCARF AND A BEAT-UP OLD COAT. "I'VE ALREADY GOT A GOOD JACKET TO WEAR," I RESPONDED TO THEIR GENEROSITY. I WAS A LITTLE MIFFED WHY THEY WOULD WANT ME TO WEAR A COAT WITH SO MANY HOLES. "EXACTLY. YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR A GOOD COAT TO THE GAME, BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKELY GOING TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT, AND THIS JACKET HAS ALREADY BEEN IN A HALF DOZEN ALREADY." GADS, I WAS GETTING WORRIED. I'D GONE TO LOTS OF HOCKEY GAMES, AND WATCHED SOME FIGHTS BREAK-OUT IN THE STANDS, BUT FROM WHAT THEY WERE DESCRIBING, ALL FANS GET IN ON THE POST GAME SHOW. OH WELL, WHAT AN ADVENTURE.

WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SUCH A WILD AND WHACKY EVENT AS THIS SOCCER MATCH. THE FANS NEVER SAT DOWN THE WHOLE GAME. IN UNISON, LIKE A HUGE WAVE ON THE OCEAN, THEY MOVED THE TEAM COLORS TO THE THEME SONG, FOR THEIR SIDE, AND THEN THE OPPOSITION, WOULD COME BACK WITH A ROUSING RENDITION OF THEIR OWN. AND I'M TELLING YOU, IT WAS UNNERVING BECAUSE OF THE TIGHTLY WEAVED CROWD, AND THE FACT THAT WHEN THEY MOVED TO THE SONG, SO DID YOU (THERE WAS NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER). THE BLEACHERS SEEMED TO MOVE AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN THE GAME WAS OVER, I'D ONLY SAT DOWN FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES IN THE WHOLE GAME, AND I WAS HOARSE BECAUSE OF ALL THE SINGING. MY MATE WARNED ME TO SING LOUDLY, SO THEY WOULDN'T SUSPECT I WAS A PLANT FROM THE OTHER SIDE, INFILTRATING THE OPPOSITION FOR SOME SORT OF SABOTAGE AT THE END OF THE GAME. MY GOD. THE END OF THE GAME. I FELT LIKE I WAS BODY SURFING OUT OF THAT STADIUM, BECAUSE THERE WAS NO STANDING AROUND, AND DEFINITELY NO POLITE "LETTING SOMEONE GET AHEAD OF YOU." I COULD SEE HOW SOMEONE COULD GET CRUSHED, AND HOW BLEACHERS COLLAPSE, WITH ALL THE SIDE TO SIDE SWAYING I'D EXPERIENCED. OUTSIDE, IT WAS VERY MUCH LIKE A RIOT SCENARIO, EXCEPT THERE WAS NO CAR OVER-TURNING OR FIRES BEING SET…..JUST PEOPLE RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE, WAVING THESE SCARVES WITH THE OCCASIONAL DUST-UPS BETWEEN FANS. MY HOST FAMILY KEPT US MOVING AS FAST AS WE COULD. NOTTINGHAM WON THAT DAY, SO WE WERE RUNNING ON POSITIVE ADRENALIN. NO NEED TO BURN ANYTHING, OR PUNCH OUT SHOP WINDOWS, I GUESS. POINT IS, I SPENT SOME QUALITY TIME, LATER THAT DAY, SHOPPING FOR NOTTINGHAM FOREST SOUVENIRS……BUYING MY OWN OFFICIAL SCARF…..WHICH I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WEARING TO YORKSHIRE AND THEN BACK TO LONDON. MY CHUMS REMINDED ME TO ALWAYS BE AWARE OF THOSE IMPORTANT BRITISH SOCCER WORDS OF WARNING. "GET HIM!" SO FOR THE BALANCE OF THE TRIP, I TUCKED THAT SPORTING SCARF INSIDE MY JACKET.

THE MOST INTERESTING SOUVENIR STORY I HEARD, CAME FROM A STAFFER AT NOTTINGHAM CASTLE, WHERE, I BELIEVE, WE SAW THE STATUE OF ROBIN HOOD. THE TOUR GUIDE OFFERED AN APOLOGY ABOUT ROBIN'S MISSING ARROW. "THE AMERICAN TOURISTS KEEP NICKING-IT," SHE SAID. "SOON AS WE GET A REPLACEMENT, THEY TAKE IT AGAIN." IT WOULD BE KIND OF NEAT TO HAVE ROBIN HOOD'S ARROW, BUT I WASN'T GOING TO STEAL ONE. LATER THAT SAME DAY WE GOT A CHANCE TO MEET THE ACTUAL SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM. TALK ABOUT GRABBING UP THE SOUVENIRS OF THAT VISIT. IF IT WAS OFFERED TO US, EVEN BROCHURES, WE CLEANED OUT THEIR SUPPLY. PAPER SOUVENIRS MADE UP A MAJORITY OF MY COLLECTIBLES FROM THAT TRIP, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF THEM TUCKED INTO AN OLD PHOTO ALBUM…..WHICH I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IN MY CLUTTER OF LIFE'S SOUVENIRS.

I WAS PULLING BARK OFF TREES FROM SHERWOOD FOREST FOR GOD'S SAKE. WE STARTED TO RUN OUT OF MONEY SO WE GRABBED EVERY CONCEIVABLE FREEBIE. IT WAS AS SORT OF TEMPORARY INSANITY. I WATCHED BAND-MATES AT A LOCAL BAKERY, SAVING THE PAPER LACE, CUP-CAKE BOTTOMS FOR THEIR TRIP SCRAPBOOKS. WE MUST HAVE TAKEN TEN THOUSAND PHOTOGRAPHS OVER THOSE TWO WEEKS.

THE NEATEST OF THE PAPER COLLECTIBLES CAME FROM THREE SHOWS WE ATTENDED IN LONDON. MY GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME, GAIL SMITH, AND I, ATTENDED THE OPENING OF THE MOVIE "THE EXORCIST," AND GOT MITT-FULLS OF WARNINGS BEING HANDED OUT BY NUMEROUS RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS, TRYING TO KEEP US FROM GOING INSIDE. WE WENT IN. SCARED US PRETTY BAD, BUT WE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE CLOSING CREDITS. WE ALSO HAD TICKETS (KEPT THE STUBS), AND SOUVENIR PROGRAMS, FROM THE STAGE VERSION OF "JESUS CHRIST SUPER STAR," AND THEN A CONCERT AT ROYAL ALBERT HALL BY THE LONDON SYMPHONY, I BELIEVE. WE MADE THE ROUNDS MANY TIMES OF PICADILLY CIRCUS, AND EVERY TIME I WATCH AUSTIN POWERS, I THINK BACK TO THE FUN WE HAD MINGLING WITH THE TURNED-ON CROWD IN THAT ELECTRIC NEIGHBORHOOD THAT NEVER SEEMED TO SLOW ITS PACE. WE GRABBED UP COASTERS FROM RESTAURANTS, A FEW MENUS WE SCOFFED AS KEEPSAKES, AND JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THAT WE THOUGHT WOULD REMIND US, OF THE HALCYON TRIP TO ENGLAND, THAT SPRING OF 1974.

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN SUZANNE WILL UNCOVER SOME RELIC OF THAT VINTAGE, AND ASK WHY I KEPT AN OLD CATCHUP-STAINED PLACEMAT, OR DRINK COASTER WITH WET RINGS ON IT, OR A DOG-EARRED PROGRAM FROM A SHOW SO VERY LONG AGO. I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER THAT WOULD MAKE ANY REAL SENSE TO MY WIFE. WHAT MADE IT SO POIGNANT FOR ME, IN PARTICULAR, WAS THAT I HAD ACTUALLY MADE THE BAND THAT LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. MAYBE I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY THE FIVE OR SIX CONCERTS WE PERFORMED BETWEEN LONDON AND NOTTINGHAM. I DON'T KNOW. BUT BECAUSE OF JOHN RUTHERFORD'S BELIEF I COULD UPGRADE, IF I WANTED TO GO BAD ENOUGH, I GOT THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME. AS I HAVE NEVER BEEN MUCH OF A WORLD TRAVELLER, AND MOST OF MY MEMORIES OF 56 YEARS ARE OF NORTH AMERICAN TRAVEL, AND LOTS OF ROAD TRIPS IN THE HOME REGION, IT REALLY WAS EXCEPTIONAL FOR ME, AND THESE TIRED OLD SOUVENIRS STILL WORK TO REKINDLE LOST MEMORIES OF "TED CURRIE'S MOST EXCELLENT ADVENTURE."

A COUPLE OF TIMES, SUZANNE HAS STARTED TO READ THROUGH MY AIR CANADA JOURNAL, AND I'M QUICK OFF THE DRAW, TO LUNGE AT THE FADED DOCUMENT. IT CONTAINS SOME RATHER PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE LADIES I GOT TO KNOW OVERSEAS……AND INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT DATING THREE GIRLS AT ONCE, WITHOUT ANY OF THEM KNOWING THE KIND OF CAD I WAS AS A YOUNG MUSICIAN-KIND. THEY FOUND THAT OUT ONCE WE GOT BACK TO CANADA. THE THIRD GIRLFRIEND WAS HOME IN BRACEBRIDGE, AND I'D PURCHASED HER AN EXPENSIVE CHARM BRACELET, AND SOME NICE SILVER CHARMS WITH BRITISH THEMES. AND BOTH LADIES I CHUMMED WITH, WHILE IN ENGLAND, ASSUMED I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO THEM AS A GIFT. I WAS LIKE LUCY RICARDO……I HAD A LOT OF 'SPLAINING TO DO!" I WASN'T REALLY A WOMANIZER, OR A DON JUAN, CASA NOVA, BUT HAVING A BLAST IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. I WASN'T ALONE. THAT TRIP STARTED MANY NEW RELATIONSHIPS, AND ENDED JUST AS MANY AT HOME. STUFF HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG OF HEART, AND A LONG WAY FROM HOME.

WHEN I'M OUT ON THE ANTIQUE HUSTINGS, I ALWAYS STOP FOR A BIT, TO ADMIRE THE INVENTORY OF SOUVENIRS FOR SALE, AND THINK BACK TO THOSE MEMORABLE DAYS ABROAD, AND WHAT THESE MUST HAVE MEANT TO THEIR ORIGINAL OWNERS…….ALSO HAVING THE TIMES THEIR LIVES. WONDER WHY THEY GOT RID OF THESE KEEPSAKES. AH, YES, THAT GETTING OLD THING. WHAT WILL MY BOYS DO WITH MY OLD ENGLAND JOURNAL? I BETTER DEAL WITH THAT ONE OF THESE DAYS.

AS A LITTLE SIDEBAR TO THIS STORY, I HAD A FUNNY INCIDENT THIS PAST OCTOBER, IN AND AROUND THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY. AS WE FREQUENTLY SELL SELECT ANTIQUE PIECES FROM THE BOY'S VINTAGE MUSIC SHOP, ON MUSKOKA ROAD, HERE IN GRAVENHURST, I SET OUT A DISPLAY OF CANADIAN PIECES UNDER THE STORE'S MARQUIS. ONE WAS A 1920'S VINTAGE UMBRELLA STAND WITH AN UMBRELLA TO GO WITH IT. NOW YOU CAN PROBABLY FIGURE OUT THE HOOK OF THIS ANECDOTAL MOMENT. BY GOLLY, I NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, EVEN WHEN I PUT THE UMBRELLA ON THE STAND AS A SORT OF BUYER'S BONUS. ANDREW PHONED ME LATER THAT MORNING, TO TELL ME ABOUT SELLING THE STAND TO A LADY, ORIGINALLY FROM ENGLAND, TO USE IN HER HALLWAY AT HOME. "SHE DIDN'T WANT THE UMBRELLA DAD," HE SAID. "THE UMBRELLA," I REPEATED. "WELL THAT'S OKAY." "WHERE DID YOU GET IT DAD….THE UMBRELLA," HE ASKED. LIKE THE BELL OF BIG BEN RINGING IN THE OLD HEAD, I SAID, "THAT'S GOT TO BE MY OLD LONDON UMBRELLA." WHAT HAD HAPPENED, WAS THAT IT HAD BEEN PART OF MY PARENTS' ESTATE, SETTLED THE YEAR BEFORE, AND WE HAD BROUGHT THAT UMBRELLA HOME WITH SEVERAL OTHERS, MY MOTHER USED FOR BOTH INCLEMENT WEATHER, AND AS A CANE FOR HER WONKY HIP. BUT SEEING AS MY FATHER WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER HOLD AN UMBRELLA (HE WAS AN OLD NAVY MAN, WHO BATHED IN RUM), (AND IT WAS DEFINITELY A MAN'S ITEM), I KNEW IT WAS THE UMBRELLA I HAD LEFT WITH THEM, WHEN I GOT HOME FROM ENGLAND. YOU KNOW, IT WAS IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE TOO, AND I'D ALMOST SOLD IT AS A PROP IN AN OTHERWISE EMPTY UMBRELLA STAND. THE LITTLE BEND IN THE END, CAME WHEN ONE OF MY GAL PALS FOUND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER TWO, AND TURNED THAT UMBRELLA INTO A CLUB.

NOW IT HANGS BY THE FIREPLACE WITH MY OTHER CANES…..I HAVE WONKY HIP AS WELL, AND I THINK ABOUT THE GIRLS OF THEN……AND THIS WONDERFUL LADY NOW, AND JOHN RUTHERFORD, WHO OPENED MY WORLD TO THE MOST AMAZING ADVENTURES. SOUVENIRS. I LOVE THEM ALL, FOR WHAT THEY REMIND ME OF……MOSTLY GOOD TIMES.

TEDS TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT FROM THE EATONS CATALGOUE

A COUPLE OF YEARS AFTER SUZANNE AND I WERE MARRIED, SHE ASKED ME ONE DAY, WHILE TALKING ABOUT VINTAGE CLOTHING, WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MY TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT? "YOU KNOW THE ONE YOU HAD IN GRADE THIRTEEN," SHE SAID, WITH AN EAR TO EAR GRIN. "IT WAS A NICE COAT," I ANSWERED. "I GOT A LOT OF CHICKS WITH THAT COAT," I RETORTED WITH MY OWN BEARDY SMILE. "YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT," I CONTINUED. "I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU REMEMBERED ABOUT ME BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL." OH, I DID REMEMBER YOU FOR WEARING THAT COAT," SHE REMINDED ME. "I USED TO SEE YOU WALKING TO SCHOOL, WHEN WE'D GO BY ON THE BUS (SHE WAS FROM WINDERMERE). IT REALLY STOOD OUT AGAINST THE SNOW…..AND THE MUSKOKA RIVER, AND THE BUILDINGS AND THE TRAIN STATION. IT WAS A FASHION STATEMENT." WELL HECK, NOW I WAS STARTED TO GET OFFENDED. I TOLD HER STRAIGHT-UP. "LOOK, I PICKED THAT COAT OUT MYSELF FROM THE CATALOGUE." "SO WHO PICKS OUT YOUR CLOTHES NOW," SHE SHOT BACK WITH VIGOR. "YOU DO, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT," I RETALIATED, LIKE SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT. I DIDN'T.

IT'S TRUE. I HAVE VERY LITTLE FASHION SENSE. WORKING ON CROZIER FOUNDATION BUSINESS, SHE "BLACK SUIT" ME UP, WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLY STIFF WHITE COLLAR, AND AFTER THE MEETING, IF I'D SUDDENLY MET UP WITH THE GRIM REAPER, I'D HAVE BEEN COFFIN-READY. WHEN I ORDERED THAT MULTI-PATCHED, "TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT," I DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY TO SPEND. MY MOTHER GAVE ME AN OPTION OF SHOPPING AT THE ECONOMY STORE, ON MANITOBA STREET, WHERE SHE WORKED, OR BUYING SOMETHING FROM THE CATALOGUE. I OPTED FOR THE CATALOGUE, BECAUSE YOU COULD ALWAYS TELL WHO HAD BEEN OUT-FITTED BY THE ECONOMY STORE. NO DISRESPECT TO THE STORE, BUT IT WAS THE CHEAPEST PLACE TO BUY CLOTHES IN TOWN. IF I BOUGHT A COAT THERE, YOU COULD COUNT ON AT LEAST ANOTHER TWENTY TO SHOW UP AT SCHOOL OF THE SAME DESIGN. SO I THOUGHT IF I BOUGHT FROM THE CATALOGUE, POSSIBLY AS OUTLANDISH AS THIS ONE, I WOULD BE THE SOLE POSSESSOR. WASN'T SO! NOT HAVING TWENTY SINGLE COLOR JACKETS IS ONE THING IN A SCHOOL. HAVING TWENTY TECHNICOLOR COATS, YEA, THAT'S A PROBLEM. BUT I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE RETURNING IT, AND I WOUND UP WEARING IT ACROSS THE POND, DURING THAT 1974 BMLSS BAND TOUR. SUZANNE DIDN'T GO. THE GIRLS LOVED ME IN THAT COAT WITH MY LONGISH HAIR, AND BOYISH GOOD LOOKS….EXCEPT FOR THE BROKEN NOSE FROM PLAYING GOAL WITH AN INADEQUATE MASK IN THAT LAST BIG GAME BEFORE THE FLIGHT.

WELL ANYWAY, SUZANNE CAME RUNNING TO ME THE OTHER DAY, IN THE BRACEBRIDGE SALVATION ARMY, (FORMERLY THE HOME OF THE ECONOMY STORE), WITH GUESS WHAT? NOW YOU SEE, IN OUR BUSINESS, SELLING VINTAGE AND ANTIQUE ITEMS, THE FABULOUS TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT IS SOMEWHAT MORE ATTRACTIVE. SHE DIDN'T FIND MINE, BUT ONE OF THE COATS I WAS UNDOUBTEDLY COMPETING AGAINST IN 1974. THIS ONE, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, WASN'T OUTSTANDING ENOUGH WITH ITS ARRAY OF COLORS,…..THAT SOMEONE THEN HAD TO SEW ON A HUNTING BADGE……. RIGHT ON THE SHOULDER THAT READS, "SUCCESSFUL MOOSE HUNT, ONTARIO MINISTRY OF NATURAL RESOURCES." PRETTY HARD TO MISS THAT SUCKER ON A SNOWY DAY IN MUSKOKA. I HAVE NEVER HUNTED, EXCEPT FOR ANTIQUES.

TODAY WE WILL REFURBISH THE COAT, CLEAN AND TIDY-IT-UP, AND PUT IT IN THE BOYS' MUSIC SHOP FOR SALE, AND LIKE OTHER RETRO PIECES, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABSURD IN THEIR DAY, IT WILL SELL. THEY CAN BE HOT COMMODITIES ON TODAY'S FASHION SCENE. IT'S LIKELY TO WIND UP ON THE BACK OF SOME GUITAR PLAYER OR LEAD SINGER, ABOUT TO PLAY THE ROGER'S CENTRE. WILL SUZANNE GET A KICK OUT OT THAT.

LET'S JUST SAY I'VE OUTGROWN IT. BUT I REMEMBER THE DAYS. I WAS DROP-DEAD BEAUTIFUL. I WISH I'D HAD IT AT WOODSTOCK.

JUST TO SHOW I'M NOT KIDDING, I'VE INCLUDED A LITTLE GRAPHIC EVIDENCE TO GO WITH THE STORY.

Winter Carnival Collectables

SKOKIE AND THE WINTER CARNIVAL SOUVENIRS? DO YOU HAVE ANY?

PLANNING TO HAVE A LITTLE DISPLAY OF NOSTALGIA PIECES FOR GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL

FOR YEARS AND YEARS I DRANK EVERYTHING WITH ONE EYE FOCUSED ON A SKOKIE EMBLEM. SKOKIE WAS VERY MUCH A PART OF MY LIFE. MUCH OF IT WAS INADVERTENT. IT WAS JUST WHAT I SAW AT BREAKFAST, THEN AGAIN AT LUNCH, AT SUPPER CERTAINLY, AND POSSIBLY WITH A WEE PINT OF ALE, LISTENING TO SOME VINTAGE VINYL……JOE COCKER, MOST OFTEN, WHO ALWAYS SEEMED TO NEED "A LITTLE HELP FROM HIS FRIENDS." I FELT I WAS THUSLY QUALIFIED. SKOKIE AND I.

MY PARENTS STARTED TO ATTEND MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL PARTIES, WHEN SKOKIE WAS A NEW-BORN. I'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS THE "SLUICEWAY," THAT WAS RUN BY ONE OF BRACEBRIDGE'S SERVICE CLUBS, OR THE "KIN-HUTCH" I BELIEVE, SPONSORED BY THE LOCAL KINSMEN CLUB, BUT MY PARENTS ALWAYS CAME HOME WITH SOME TYPE OF SKOKIE-FACED STEIN. ONE EACH. SO WHEN I BEGAN GOING TO THE "FESTS" IN ABOUT 1974, I'D HAVE TWO MORE GLASS STEINS TO BRING HOME AFTER THE EVENT. DEPENDING ON HOW MANY TIMES I WENT TO AN EVENT THAT YEAR, I ALWAYS ARRIVED HOME WITH AT LEAST WINTER CARNIVAL BUTTONS AND GLASSES. MY GIRLFRIENDS WERE NOT OTTER-FRIENDLY, IN THOSE DAYS. MERLE AND ED WERE STILL GOING TO THE EVENTS THROUGH MOST OF THE 1970'S, SO NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE HAD MORE SKOKIE STEINS THAN WE COULD EVER USE, IN A LIFETIME OF AGGRESSIVE BEVERAGE CONSUMPTION, EVEN IF AN EARTHQUAKE HAD HIT MUSKOKA, AND DESTROYED HALF OF OUR GLASS COLLECTION. WHETHER I WAS DRINKING EGG NOG, MILK, CHOCOLATE MILK, ICE TEA OR LEMONADE, BY GOLLY, THAT OTTER KEPT ME COMPANY, MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT. THE THING ABOUT THOSE ADVERTISING GLASS STEINS, IS THAT THEY WERE VIRTUALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE. AT SOME OF THOSE OLD TIME DRINKING AFFAIRS, MORE THAN A FEW STEINS BOUNCED OFF CONCRETE AND, WELL, TO BE HONEST, A FEW "HOSER" HEADS. SAW THAT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL BUT IT WASN'T MY HEAD.

I CAN REMEMBER THE DAY, LONG AFTER I'D MOVED INTO MY OWN APARTMENT, GOING INTO THE SALVATION ARMY THRIFT SHOP ONE DAY, AND GEEZ, THERE HAD TO BE FIFTY SKOKIE STEINS, ALL DATED, WITH MANY CONSECUTIVE YEARS, BEING SOLD FOR A QUARTER EACH. GADS. HOW COULD ANYBODY GET RID OF A WHOLE COLLECTION OF WINTER CARNIVAL MEMORABILIA? SO I BOUGHT THE WORKS, THINKING THAT WITH MY INHERITANCE, ONE DAY, OF ABOUT THE SAME QUANTITY OF GLASSWARE, I'D BE ONE OF THE LEADING SKOKIE COLLECTORS IN THE WORLD. I GOT THEM BOXED UP, LOADED INTO THE CAR, LISTENED TO MY WIFE CHASTISE ME ABOUT CLUTTERING HER KITCHEN CUPBOARDS, WITH MORE NOVELTY STEINS, AND THEN RAN INTO MY MOTHER, WALKING UP MANITOBA STREET. "I SAW YOU LOADING A BOX IN THE CAR," SHE SAID. "WHAT NEAT STUFF DID YOU FIND TODAY?" "YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT," I BLURTED, OUT OF BREATH FROM THE WEIGHT OF FIFTY GLASS STEINS, IN A RICKETY BOX. "REMEMBER THE WINTER CARNIVAL GLASSES WE COLLECTED?" SHE LOOKED AT ME AS IF EITHER SHE WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK, OR SHE THOUGHT I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE ONE. "HOW MANY DID YOU BUY," SHE ASKED AGAIN. "FIFTY, GIVE OR TAKE A COUPLE," I REITERATED. "OH MY GOD," SHE SAID. "I TOLD YOUR FATHER THIS WOULD HAPPEN." "WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN," I ASKED. "HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY FOR THEM," SHE SHOT BACK, WITH SOME FEAR ETCHED ON HER BROW. "TWENTY-FIVE CENTS EACH. WHAT A BARGAIN." "WELL THAT'S NOT SO BAD," SHE SAID, "IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO DONATE TO A CHARITY." THEN SHE SLAPPED ME ON THE BACK, SAID GOODBYE TO SUZANNE, AND RESUMED HER AFTERNOON WALK. "WHAT THE HECK WAS ALL THAT ABOUT," I ASKED SUZANNE, WHEN I CLIMBED BACK IN THE CAR. "WELL, MY GUESS, IS THAT YOUR PARENTS EMPTIED THEIR KITCHEN CUPBOARDS, AND DONATED THOSE MUGS TO THE THRIFT SHOP." LIKE THE WOMAN SAID, IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE TO DONATE TO YOUR FAVORITE CHARITY.

THE FUNNY PART OF THIS, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN OUR NEWLYWED BLISS, AND SUZANNE LABELLING ME A "HOARDER," I MADE SOME CONCESSION, IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS (I'D LIKELY BEEN OUT LATE WITH MY HOCKEY MATES THE NIGHT BEFORE), TO RE-DONATE MY SKOKIE MUGS. I DON'T REMEMBER THE EXACT INCIDENT OF BROW BEATING I SUFFERED, JUST THAT SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK TOO HARD TO PRY MY FINGERS FREE OF THE COLLECTION. IN ALL FAIRNESS, I AM A HOARDER. A NEAT ONE. THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME ON THE REALITY SHOW, BECAUSE I AM QUITE PERSNICKETY ABOUT MY BRIC-A-BRAC, AND ITS SAFE KEEPING. I AM AN ANTIQUE DEALER, AND HOARDING IS LIKE A VIRTUE IN MY BUSINESS. I REMEMBER AROUND THE FIRST OF THIS YEAR, ASKING SUZANNE IF SHE REMEMBERED WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MY SKOKIE STEINS. "YES, TED, YOU GOT RID OF THEM IN 1995," SHE ANSWERED. 'HOW COULD YOU REMEMBER THAT YEAR SO PRECISELY?" I RESPONDED. "EASY." SHE SAID. "I WROTE IT DOWN IN A BOOK, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D ASK ME SOME DAY, WHERE THE SKOKIE COLLECTION HAD GONE, AND I'D HAVE TO SHOW PROOF YOU AGREED TO DONATE IT TO THE SALVATION ARMY." SHE'S GOOD. I'M SPEECHLESS ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS, LIKE LEAP YEAR, BUT THIS ONE WAS A NECESSARY REVOCATION OF SPEECH. "DID I REALLY?" WAS ALL I COULD REPLY. "YOU DONATED THEM AND THE OLD WINTER CARNIVAL BUTTONS, AS WELL," SHE ADDED, LIKE A SLAP ON THE BACK WITH A GARDEN SPADE. I WANTED TO CRY. I MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING VERY BAD, AND NEEDED LOTS OF FORGIVING, TO RELENT ON THE BUTTONS ESPECIALLY. "YOU DON'T REMEMBER, DO YOU," SHE QUIPPED, WITH A SADISTIC TWINKLE OF THE EYE, KNOWING I'D MADE THE DEAL TO GET A REPRIEVE, FROM SOME COLD SHOULDER OR OTHER, I HAD UNDOUBTEDLY BEEN FACING AT THE TIME. THUS, I MUST HAVE BEEN INSINCERE,AS WELL, ABOUT THE APOLOGY.

I THINK SHE MAY HAVE HEARD ME CALL HER "DRAGON LADY," AS I RETREATED BACK TO MY OFFICE. BUT SHE'S A GOOD SOUL, AND SENSING MY CHAGRIN OVER MY LOST SKOKIES, SHE PROMISED TO MAKE UP FOR THIS, BY KNITTING SOME WINTER CARNIVAL ATTIRE, INCLUDING MITTS, HATS AND SCARVES, TO USE AS PROPS FOR ANDREW AND ROBERT'S MUSIC VIDEO, IN SUPPORT OF THIS YEAR'S GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL. I MUST HAVE MADE HER FEEL REAL BAD, BECAUSE TODAY I TOOK HER TO BUY A COOKIE CUTTER, THAT SHE PLANS TO MODIFY TO LOOK LIKE THE WINTER OTTER, SO THAT THE BOYS WILL HAVE "THEME" TREATS TO GIVE OUT TO OUR MUSIC SHOP GUESTS. I THINK SHE'S SOFTENING A TAD. I MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH SOME MORE SKOKIE NOSTALGIA PURCHASES, BUT RIGHT NOW I'M NOT GOING TO PUSH MY LUCK.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL COLLECTIBLES, IS THAT THERE WERE SIMPLY TOO MANY CREATED OVER THE YEARS IT WAS AN ANNUAL EVENT. AND BECAUSE THE GLASSES WERE INCREDIBLY DURABLE, AND WOULD TAKE A BOUNCE OFF CONCRETE AND SURVIVE, NOT ENOUGH DISAPPEARED TO CREATE MUCH OF A DEMAND. IN FACT, UP UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO, YOU COULD FIND WINTER CARNIVAL BUTTONS IN MOST THRIFT SHOPS, FLEA MARKETS, SECOND HAND SHOPS, AND AT CHURCH FUNDRAISING SALES. AS FOR THE GLASS MUGS, THEY WERE EVERYWHERE. NOW THAT WE'RE LOOKING TO COLLECT SOME REPRESENTATIVE ITEMS, FROM THOSE YEARS, THE SUPPLY HAS MYSTERIOUSLY DRIED UP. I AM FORTUNATE TO HAVE A 1971 FIRST EDITION PROGRAM, OF THE OFFICIAL OPENING CARNIVAL, AND A MINT-CONDITION BUMPER STICKER THAT WAS STILL IN THE SOUVENIR BOOK WHEN I BOUGHT IT AT A GRAVENHURST YARD SALE. SO WHILE THE VALUES OF THESE WINTER CARNIVAL SOUVENIRS DIDN'T SHOOT UP IN PRICE, IT'S LARGELY BECAUSE THERE WAS A HUGE VOLUME PRODUCED, AND DEMAND HAS CERTAINLY WAINED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CARNIVAL TRADITION BEGAN TO DIMINISH FOR THE THREE PARTICIPATING TOWNS. THE PIECES ARE STILL INTERESTING TO HAVE, AND NOW THAT THE GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY REVIVED, WE'VE DECIDED TO BEGIN A LOW-KEY (WITHOUT NEEDING A FORKLIFT TO DO IT) SKOKIE COLLECTION ONCE AGAIN, ESPECIALLY FOR DISPLAY AT OUR MAIN STREET SHOP FOR FUTURE WINTER CARNIVAL EVENTS. IF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE SOME OLD BUTTONS AND MUGS YOU'D BE WILLING TO DONATE TO THE DISPLAY, WE'D BE GLAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CONTRIBUTION WITH THE EXHIBIT. YOU CAN DROP ITEMS OFF AT ANDREW CURRIE'S MUSIC, ON MUSKOKA ROAD (IN THE FORMER MUSKOKA THEATRE BUILDING), OPPOSITE THE GRAVENHURST OPERA HOUSE.

IN THE SPIRIT OF MARTHA STEWART, SUZANNE HAS BEEN KNITTING LIKE A MACHINE SINCE CHRISTMAS, WHEN WE PURCHASED ALL THE ORANGE WOOL WE COULD FIND IN SOUTH MUSKOKA, TO MAKE AS MANY SCARVES AS THE WOOL SUPPLY WOULD AFFORD. SHE'S GOT SKOKIE ON THE BRAIN. I'M GETTING JEALOUS. I HAVE DREAMS OF COMING HOME AND FINDING AN OTTER IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR. FROM THE POINT WHEN WE FIRST DISCUSSED THE IDEA OF A WINTER CARNIVAL THEME SONG, TO DONATE TO THE GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL COMMITTEE, OUR WHOLE FAMILY HAS BEEN IN AN "OTTER-LAND," AND LET ME TELL YOU……I'VE HEARD "PRESSURE POINT'S" SONG SO MANY TIMES IN OUR HOUSE, I'M THINKING OF ASKING SUZANNE TO MAKE ME A SKOKIE OUTFIT AS WINTER LEISURE WEAR. BUT YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN FUN NONE THE LESS, AND SUZANNE WILL TELL YOU HONESTLY, KNITTING IS A GOOD WAY TO FORGIVE MY TRESPASSES. APPARENTLY, I'M QUITE A MOTIVATING FORCE IN THIS REGARD. I'VE FELT AS IF MY BEHIND WAS GLUED TO THIS OFFICE CHAIR, IN FRONT OF THE HUGE "HEAVEN'S GATE" GLOWING SCREEN…….WRITING HOUR UPON HOUR ABOUT WINTER CARNIVALS I HAVE KNOWN…..INTIMATELY SO. I PINE FOR MY OLD UNDERWOOD, I USED TO TYPE-ON IN THE OLD HERALD-GAZETTE NEWSROOM, DURING PAST WINTER CARNIVALS, WHEN I LOOKED AT PAPER INSTEAD OF THIS BRIGHT LIGHT OF INFINITY. AND NO, THERE IS NO OTTER, AT THIS POINT AT LEAST, BEING USED AS A SCREEN SAVER. I'VE HAD TO DIVORCE MYSELF A TAD, AS I'M WORKING ON SEVERAL MAJOR WRITING PROJECTS FOR THE REGIONAL PRESS, AND A LOCAL ARTIST'S BIOGRAPHY, THAT WOULD NOT BE ENHANCED AT ALL, TO HAVE A SKOKIE THEME, DANCING THROUGH MY MIND DURING COMPOSITION. THAT'S THE WAY IT IS NOW, AND THAT'S OKAY. SKOKIE IS WELCOME HERE. MY ONLY ADVICE, IS THAT ITS PRESENCE BE AS INCONSPICUOUS AS AN OTTER MASCOT CAN BE……SO THAT I DON'T GET BLAMED FOR EITHER CLUTTERING, HOARDING, OR BRINGING ALL MY FRIENDS HOME FOR DINNER.

HOPE YOU WILL CONSIDER VISITING OUR HOME TOWN WINTER CARNIVAL THIS YEAR, SCHEDULED FOR THE LAST WEEKEND IN FEBRUARY. SEE YOU THERE.

JUST A NOTE ABOUT OUR CANADIAN SYMBOLS COLLECTION, INITIATED LAST WEEK

WELL FOLKS, IT WAS NOT A GOOD WEEKEND OUT ON THE ANTIQUE HUNT, ESPECIALLY LOOKING FOR THOSE NATIONAL SYMBOLS, ON VINTAGE ITEMS, DEPICTING MAPLE LEAVES, THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE, AND THE BEAVER. IT IS A LITTLE COMPETITION WE'VE INITIATED TO COLLECT THOSE MARKED PIECES OF CANADIANA, TO BE JUDGED ON THE HALF YEAR, AND THE FULL YEAR…..AS POSSIBLY COMPARED TO YOUR OWN LUCK OUT ON THE HUSTINGS. WE HAVE SET ABOUT THIS PERSONAL COMPETITION, TO PROVE THAT WE CAN COME UP WITH AN AMAZING COLLECTION OF REPRESENTATIVE PIECES OF CANADA'S HERITAGE…..BUT ONLY WITH THOSE THREE WELL RECOGNIZED SYMBOLS. THE RULE FOR US, IS THAT WE WILL STICK TO MUSKOKA FOR ALL OF THESE FINDS, AND WE WILL NOT USE ANY MATERIALS WE HAVE PURCHASED PREVIOUSLY, EXCEPT TO BE RECOGNIZED SEPARATELY AT THE CONCLUDING MARKS OF THIS HUSTLE FOR CANADIANA. THIS WEEKEND WE HAD TO SETTLE FOR TWO PIECES, PURCHASED FOR SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS EACH…..A CENTENNIAL MUG IN EXCELLENT CONDITION, WITH CLEAR GRAPHICS, AND ANOTHER GLASS STEIN FROM ALBERTA WITH GRAPHICS DEPICTING BANFF, LAKE LOUISE AND VICTORIA GLACIER, JASPER NATIONAL PARK, JASPER THE BEAR, AND BOTH THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE AND THE MAPLE LEAF. NOT MUCH BUT THE BEST IF YET TO COME.

ALSO FOUND OUT ON THE ANTIQUE HUNT THIS WEEKEND, WE CAME HOME WITH A WONDERFUL (SMALL) THREE DIMENSIONAL PLAQUE, FEATURING MAPLE SAP COLLECTION, CARVED IN NATIVE PINE BY ARTISAN H. NADEAU. WE FOUND AN INTERESTING SILVER TROPHY (CUP), DATED 1956, INSCRIBED, "THE ROYAL BANK TROPHY, PRESENTED TO ARMOUR, RYERSON, AND BURK'S FALLS AGRICULTURAL SOCIETY, FOR HIGHEST POINTS IN FLORAL SECTION, WON BY……" THE CUP WAS NOT INSCRIBED TO THE PERSON WHO MAY HAVE WON IT IN THAT YEAR. I LOVE COLLECTING OLD TROPHIES. CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY….EXCEPT I'VE NEVER WON SUCH HARDWARE….SO I MAKE UP FOR IT, BY BUYING INTERESTING ONES I FIND. THE THIRD INTERESTING PURCHASE, IS A WONDERFULLY CRAFTED OBLONG WOODEN BELL, WITH FOUR HAND CARVED WOODEN RINGERS, PROBABLY FROM EITHER SOUTH AMERICA OR AFRICA. IT HAS A WONDERFUL SOUND TO IT, AND WILL BE USED IN OUR BOYS' RECORDING BUSINESS, WHEN A SIMILAR EFFECT IS NEEDED TO ENHANCE A SONG. IT WAS FOUND IN GRAVENHURST FOR THE PRICE OF FOUR DOLLARS. AS USUAL, WE CAME HOME WITH SOME REMNANT YARN, SUZANNE USES FOR A MYRIAD OF KNITTING PROJECTS. IT WASN'T A GREAT WEEKEND FOR ANTIQUE HUNTING AND THE WEATHER WAS A LITTLE TOUGH ON LONG DISTANCE DRIVING. HAPPY TO STAY AT HOME IN SOUTH MUSKOKA.

SEE YOU SOON. HAPPY HUNTING OUT THERE. THERE'S LOTS OF NEAT STUFF TO FIND.

Gravenhurst Winter Carnival Music Complete!

GRAVENHURST WINTER CARNIVAL - A WHOLE LOT OF NOSTALGIA IN A NEW CENTURY PACKAGE

WHAT A GROUP OF CITIZENS CAN DO WHEN THEY DECIDE WINTER'S

WORTH INVESTING IN -

OFFICIALLY, SKOKIE, OUR CELEBRITY OTTER, IS 41 YEARS OLD THIS MONTH. POSSIBLY A LITTLE FRAYED AROUND THE EDGES, FROM THE RIGORS OF MANY ALL-WEATHER GIGS, IT'S STILL PRETTY PERKY FOR A MATURE OTTER. ADMITTEDLY, SOME OF THAT TIME HAS BEEN SPENT PACKED IN A BOX. THE ORIGINAL MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL, AFTER A CONSIDERABLE RUN, BEGAN ITS COLLAPSE QUITE A FEW YEARS AGO. THE VOLUNTEER POOL STARTED TO GET A LITTLE SHALLOW, AND EXPENSES AND INSURANCE REQUIREMENTS, TO OPERATE THE CARNIVAL, KEPT INCREASING YEAR AFTER YEAR. IT WAS A STRANGLEHOLD ON SKOKIE. THE WINTER CARNIVAL WAS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA FROM ITS LAUNCH IN JANUARY 1971. THERE WAS ONE ASPECT OF THE MULIT-TOWN EVENT HOWEVER, THAT ALWAYS BOTHERED ME AS A REPORTER, WHO COVERED IT FROM 1979 TO 1990. IT MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONE THING, A PIVOTAL CONSIDERATION, ORGANIZERS SIMPLY LOST SIGHT OF, FOR ALL THOSE YEARS HAVING THIS UNBRIDLED WINTER FUN.

GRAVENHURST HOWEVER, FOUND AN OPPORTUNITY WITH THAT MASCOT-IN-A-BOX, A FEW YEARS BACK, AND THE RESURGENCE OF CARNIVAL ENTHUSIASM SEEMS TO BE CATCHING. NOW THERE'S A NEWLY RELEASED THEME SONG, JUST FOR GRAVENHURST……AND SKOKIE ISN'T IN THE BOX ANY MORE. IN FACT, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SEEING A LOT OF THE OLD OTTER, AS THE CARNIVAL COMMITTEE BEGINS THE LEAD-UP PROMOTIONS. THE VIDEO TO ACCOMPANY THE WINTER CARNIVAL SONG, WILL FEATURE THE RAMBLINGS OF SKOKIE IN ALL THE FAMILIAR "OTTER" PLACES, HE USED TO VISIT IN GRAVENHURST, AND HE MAY EVEN PLAY A LITTLE ELECTRIC GUITAR WITH THE BAND "PRESSURE POINT," JUST TO PROVE HE'S READY TO ROCK AND ROLL!

HERE ARE SOME SIGNIFICANT COMMENTS, THAT WERE INCLUDED IN THE FIRST PROGRAM OF THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL, PRINTED IN JANUARY OF 1971.

"THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL WILL ADD ANOTHER RECREATIONAL EVENT TO THE YEAR-ROUND CALENDAR OF HAPPENINGS IN ONE OF ONTARIO'S FAVORITE PLAYGROUNDS. THOSE OF YOU HELPING TO LAUNCH THIS FIRST MUSKOKA CARNIVAL ARE PARTICIPATING IN WHAT WILL SURELY BECOME A MOST SUCCESSFUL ANNUAL EVENT, RESULTING IN A LARGE BOOST TO ONTARIO'S WINTER TOURISM."

PREMIER JOHN ROBARTS, IN THE WINTER OF 1971, ALSO NOTED THAT "MUSKOKA IS GENEROUSLY ENDOWED WITH NATURAL AND MAN-MADE FACILITIES FOR WINTER SPORTS. THE PROXIMITY OF LARGE POPULATION AREAS SUGGESTS THAT THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL MAY ONE DAY BE RECOGNIZED AS A MAJOR NORTH AMERICAN EVENT."

THE MINISTER OF TOURISM, JAMES AULD SAID THAT "HOLIDAYS IN A WINTER SETTING HAVE BECOME MORE POPULAR DURING THE PAST FEW YEARS. AS A RESULT, NEW AVENUES TO PROMOTE WINTER ACTIVITIES MUST BE DEVELOPED AND ENCOURAGED. THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL IS ONE SUCH VENTURE. THE ORGANIZERS ARE WELL AWARE OF THE MANY HOURS OF PLEASURE THAT MUSKOKA OFFERS DURING THE WINTER MONTHS. THIS CARNIVAL WILL ALLOW THOUSANDS OF VISITORS TO LEARN FOR THEMSELVES, THAT MUSKOKA IS TRULY A VACATION LAND FOR ALL SEASONS."

THE FIRST CHAIRMAN OF THE NEWLY CREATED DISTRICT OF MUSKOKA, MILTON TIBBETT, FELT THAT, "THROUGH THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL, THE MANY PLEASURES OF THE MUSKOKA AREA DURING THE WINTER MONTHS WILL BE PUBLICIZED TO EVERYONE'S ADVANTAGE. IT IS TO BE HOPED THAT THE MUSKOKA WINTER CARNIVAL WILL HAVE THE EFFECT OF ENCOURAGING SUMMER RESIDENTS TO WINTERIZE THEIR COTTAGES AND TO PROVE TO THE VACATIONING PUBLIC THAT MUSKOKA IS THE PLACE TO ENJOY A WINTER VACATION."

MY OLD NEWSPAPER BOSS, FORMER CHAIRMAN OF THE DISTRICT OF MUSKOKA, MAYOR OF HUNTSVILLE, AND 1971 CARNIVAL CHAIRMAN, HUGH MACKENZIE, NOTED THAT, "IT IS OUR HOPE THAT YOUR EXPERIENCES HERE WILL ENCOURAGE YOU TO LOOK TO MUSKOKA IN THE FUTURE AS A PLACE TO ENJOY ALL OF YOUR WINTERTIME RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES. WE HOPE TOO, THAT THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE SUMMER COTTAGES IN THIS AREA, WILL LEARN THROUGH THIS CARNIVAL, OF THE GREAT POTENTIAL FOR WINTER FUN THAT MUSKOKA HAS TO OFFER, AND, THAT THIS WILL ENCOURAGE YOU TO WINTERIZE YOUR SUMMER HOME. WE TRUST YOU WILL DISCOVER A FRESH, NEW AND EXCITING MUSKOKA, DURING THE TIME THAT YOU SPEND WITH US." IT WAS HUGH HOWEVER, ONE OF FOUR TO INTRODUCE THE CARNIVAL, WHO DID WRITE THE LOCALLY SENSITIVE INVITATION, "WE BELIEVE THAT EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY WILL FIND SOME ACTIVITY SUITED TO THEIR OUTDOOR INTERESTS DURING THIS WEEK OF FESTIVITIES."

If the re-vitalized Gravenhurst Winter Carnival, can learn anything from the protocols and mission statement of the former three town Muskoka Winter Carnival, circa 1971 onward, it will be gained by finding out where it all started to go wrong. What knocked the otter of its paws? In 1971, likely with the impetus of provincial recreational grants……I'm only guessing here, Skokie was created as a slick "Otter-kind," with a big tourism tag attached to his furry hind-quarters. From what you can read, in the bulk of editorial welcomes, contained in the 1971 official program….which by the way cost fifty cents, it's clearly the case, the local population wasn't the primary target of the "big show." It was the mistake that kept on-giving, (but mostly taking away) and the reason it eventually faltered, unlike similar independent events in Port Carling and Port Sydney……that did one thing right after another, to earn their multi-decade success story. "Don't forget the local population." In 1971 it was largely expected, the local population would be glad to welcome tourists to Muskoka in the off-season. Would be delighted to serve as bartenders, log sawing monitors, race officials, polar bear dip attendants, and well, the human body beneath the Skokie fur. While locals weren't excluded, they weren't exactly invited with open arms to join the festivities. Hugh Mackenzie came the closest to actually inviting Muskokans to their own party. But it certainly wasn't the mission statement of the event, and that's clear, in the content of the official carnival welcomes, including one right from the office, of the Premier of Ontario.

In the past two years, the organizing committee of the Gravenhurst Winter Carnival has impressed me, because it seems much more community-oriented as a mainstay of operations. While certainly not a closed event, where tourists are discouraged from attending, it seems to be running opposite to what the Muskoka Winter Carnival set about to do, when its tradition began, that January in 1971. As a long serving member of the local press, it was the same focus each year, and frankly, you could see this play for tourism appeal, causing local citizens to lose interest generally…..and in all towns it became harder to get volunteers. That's not hard to understand really, because it was all about bringing money to Muskoka, and recognition to Ontario's off-season tourism attractions……and not really about giving the local population something nice to look forward to, during a tough Canadian winter. They saw themselves as helping the business community to profit, but not benefitting the community dynamic itself. What about local families? What about the kids? Our own? Couldn't we have something special for our own population to enjoy too. It's not as if we aren't hospitable to all comers, because we are….and that's a proven fact since tourism began in the 1870's in this region of Ontario. But there are times, when we forget how hard our population works, to serve the tourism economy, and how little respect is shown for all their efforts.

I support the Gravenhurst Winter Carnival, precisely because I see it as a community-inspired event, "for the community," and organized by citizens who are proud of their home town and home region. It shows. It may be the true success of revamped protocol, that guarantees this smaller version, of the former Muskoka Winter Carnival, succeeds in building a bigger and better legacy. In 1971, I would have expected that the Winter Carnival would have been aimed at the local population as the first consideration. Why not? I would have expected then, by the second, third, even 10th Winter Carnival, that there would have been the common sense, amongst organizers, to make sure our communities were truly, passionately onboard, and feeling good about the inclusive nature of the winter fete. Fun for one and all. Not just fun for some. And that the primary incentive behind the festival, was to generate a "local" tradition……a blend of excitement and commerce, from the locals, willing to invest in their home towns, in the enchanted glow of the winter sun. But the mantra from 1971 never ceased. It was a tourism venue. An allure for bored urbanites, for cottagers, with winterized abodes, to come out and enjoy the winter festivities. And yes, the stalwart locals were supposed to staff these tourism-generating venues. For decades the mission of organizers, was to one up the Quebec Winter Carnival, and out-class Ottawa, and its legendary canal-skate. It was stated, as such, on the eve of the very first Muskoka Carnival Event…..that it could become the "most exciting Winter Carnival in Canada." Well, folks, it didn't. Not even close. The missing component? The support of the community. Not just those with a vested financial interest in a tourism spike. All citizens who called Muskoka home. I can remember people saying to me, when I was working on carnival stories, "It's not for us. It's for the tourists." We all knew it. We just didn't put it in Herald-Gazette editorials. Instead we opted for the status quo approach, and ran full page photo spreads, to show how successful the carnivals were……and every year it was the same thing. But the carnival committees were simply adopting the format from that first event. The organizers were local citizens, caring, dedicated, generous folks, who just carried on, from year to year, unfortunately ignoring what was eating away at the foundation of the program.

The volunteers of the Gravenhurst Winter Carnival need the support of the community first. If they keep the event full of hometown values, they will build up a new tradition, and will eventually earn the coveted status, achieved by winter venues in Port Carling and Port Sydney, that continue to thrive in a tight partnership with the community. There's more to Muskoka than tourism. We need to be kinder to the folks who reside here year round…..who raise families here, and who are often neglected here. Folks who would love to be invited to a party. People who would love to join a good neighbor movement, to build a better, stronger, more dynamic home town. The Winter Carnival Committee is moving in this direction, and I'm so abundantly pleased that the Town of Gravenhurst is playing a strong supporting role in the re-development of this wonderful tradition…….that got Skokie back out of the box.

I believe in this "for the community" "home town" initiative so much, I asked my musician sons, Andrew and Robert, if they would consider composing, and performing a new-age song for the Gravenhurst Winter Carnival committee, as an act of volunteerism, to support their hard work bringing back some winter magic to Gravenhurst. As their relative, Brad Veitch and wife Bonnie, performed their Winter Carnival Song, back in the 1970's, I thought the young homeowners should also give it a shot today. And with lead singer Dani O'Connor, guitarist, Aaron Binder, and guest singers, Jon O'Connor, and Ray Parsons, Robert and Andrew came through with, what I believe, is a "new beginnings" song, to herald this year's Gravenhurst Winter Carnival. The talent for the song and video……all local. There's a lot more where that came from.

I think the committee volunteers deserve a lot of credit for carrying on this tradition, and we hope this song will help raise some interest from all corners of the community and beyond, to join Skokie for a heck of a weekend in late February. As a reporter, I admit it, covering Winter Carnival wasn't my favorite assignment. I never dressed appropriately. My feet were frozen, fingers frosted, and camera seized up. This year, I'm going to dress for the occasion…..Otter-like.

You can check out the new song by clicking on……. http://youtu.be/BdQWgg-W3qk

Coming soon, will be a Winter Carnival video to accompany the music. I'll let you know when it makes it to YouTube.

Retiring To Antiques, Wait, Until We are 67....

PENSION REFORM, FOOD BANKS, SENIORS FACING POVERTY, AND CITIZEN BENEVOLENCE

RAISING THE PENSION AGE TO 67 MEANS FOOD BANKS WILL BE NEEDED FOREVER -

MY RETIREMENT ANTIQUE BUSINESS, GADS, I'M GOING TO NEED TO UPGRADE MY PLAN -

SOMEONE ASKED ME ONE DAY, ABOUT OUR FAMILY'S SUPPORT OF THE LOCAL FOOD BANK, OPERATED BY THE GRAVENHURST SALVATION ARMY. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS THAT I KNEW CAME FROM A PARTICULAR BIAS, AND THAT NO MATTER HOW I ANSWERED IT, THE RESULT WAS GOING TO BE THE SAME. SOME FOLKS OUT THERE BELIEVE THAT IF THERE WERE NO FOOD BANKS, FOLKS NEEDING THEM NOW, WOULD BE FORCED INTO SELF PRESERVATION MODE, TO SEEK OTHER MEANS TO FILL THE VOID…..OTHER WAYS IN WHICH TO SURVIVE. THEY SEE THE PROBLEM BEING RELIANCE ON SOCIAL CUSHIONING, SUCH THAT INITIATIVE, INCENTIVE AND RESOURCEFULNESS ARE TURNED INTO A MUSH OF FREE-FALL DEPENDENCE INSTEAD……AND THAT FREE ENTERPRISE AND GUMPTION, ARE THE MEND-ALL, TO GET PEOPLE OFF UNEMPLOYMENT, AND OF COURSE, SOCIAL ASSISTANCE.

I GREW UP IN A HOUSEHOLD WHERE THIS WAS BANDIED ABOUT FREQUENTLY, AND EVEN THOUGH MY PARENTS WEREN'T WELL OFF AT ALL, THEY HAD LITTLE SYMPATHY FOR SINGLE PARENTS, THOSE WHO COULDN'T GET JOBS, OR "LAZY" FOLKS WHO WERE CONTENT TO LET THE PROVINCE DO THE WORK FOR THEM. AS A FORMER EDITOR WITH THE MUSKOKA PRESS, LET ME TELL YOU, MY FIRST RULE OF PERSONAL CONDUCT, WAS TO MAKE IT CLEAR I DIDN'T SUPPORT OR CONDONE THE OPINIONS OF MY PARENTS. IN THE STRICTEST MORAL SENSE, I LEFT MANY CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM UNFINISHED, BECAUSE I COULD NOT AGREE WITH THEIR POINT OF VIEW, AND RATHER THAN TRYING TO CHANGE THEIR OPINION……I LET WELL ENOUGH ALONE. THEY DIDN'T HAVE BLOGS THEN, AND THEY NEVER SENT LETTERS TO THE EDITOR, PRONOUNCING THAT THOSE ON SOCIAL ASSISTANCE SHOULD BE PUT IN THE ARMED FORCES. I LOVED THEM DEARLY, BUT THEY WERE OF HARD-CORE OPINION, AGAINST THOSE THEY ALLEGED TO BE FREELOADERS OF SOCIAL ASSISTANCE, WHO COULD BE "HOLE DIGGING" SOMEWHERE ON THIS CONTINENT TO EARN THEIR KEEP. DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. NOT JUST SUCKING BACK THE BEER AT THE LOCAL WATERING HOLE, AND COMPLAINING ABOUT THEIR MISFORTUNES.

WHAT REALLY INFLUENCED ME ABOUT NEED IN THIS REGION OF SOUTH MUSKOKA, WAS WHEN ROGER CROZIER INVITED ME TO JOIN HIS SOON-TO-BE CREATED CHILDREN'S FOUNDATION, BACK IN THE MID 1990'S. AFTER WORKING FOR SOME TIME ON HIS BIOGRAPHY, AND HAVING HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT ROGER AT HIS WORK PLACE, IN DELAWARE, KNOWN AS MBNA, HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER ONE AFTERNOON, AND ASKED ME IF I'D CONSIDER WORKING AS A PUBLIC RELATIONS DIRECTOR, WHEN THE CHARITY WAS OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED LATER THAT YEAR. I WAS SPEECHLESS. ROGER HAD GONE FROM NHL NETMINDER FROM THE ORIGINAL SIX, TO A CORPORATE GIANT FOR THIS LARGE AND EXPANDING BANK. I JUST NODDED BECAUSE FRANKLY I COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING THAT MADE SENSE, I WAS SO FREAKING EXCITED TO BE EXTENDED THIS HONOR.

ROGER HAD A HUGE SOFT-SPOT FOR KIDS WHO DIDN'T HAVE THE FINANCIAL SUPPORT, TO REMOVE ECONOMIC BARRIERS, IN PURSUIT OF THEIR SPORTS INTERESTS. ROGER, A KID FROM A FAMILY OF 14, IN BRACEBRIDGE, ACKNOWLEDGED THE SUPPORT OF MANY CITIZENS IN THE COMMUNITY, FOR HELPING HIM DURING HIS MINOR HOCKEY DAYS, AND THEN OFFERING HIM A RANGE OF ASSISTANCE, AND TRANSPORTATION, WHEN HE JOINED THE RANKS OF JUNIOR A PLAY, IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO. IT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS HE WANTED TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY, FOR HAVING ASSISTED HIM TO ACHIEVE HIS GOALS IN HOCKEY. HE WENT ON TO A SOLID CAREER WITH THE DETROIT RED WINGS, BUFFALO SABRES AND WASHINGTON CAPITALS.

The Crozier Foundation gave our family an inside opportunity to see how investment in our regional youth, could make a difference in their lives. How close were we? Real close. Suzanne, Andrew, Robert and I, tended to food services for many years, during the summer skating and hockey camp, held at the Bracebridge Arena. The Foundation paid the works. New skates, new hockey equipment, sweaters, with excellent coaching, off-ice entertainment, and lots and lots of food. We were given the wonderful chore of feeding these kids, and what fun it was, to see these ecstatic campers coming off the ice, big smiles on their faces, delighted to have fresh fruit by the tray-load, and block cheese slices, cold meat, buns and many desert items including squares that we made with the campers as part of the program. These were kids from families who would not have been able to afford such an inclusive camp program…..which in real terms would have cost a lot to attend otherwise. But the Foundation was unrelenting with their funding, and we could see the impact of benevolence in campers' demeanor…..year over year, as there were many returning youngsters. It was just as powerful an experience to us, running the food component of the camp, over five days, as it was for the kids themselves. Through no fault of their own, these youngsters were missing important opportunities in life, and even though this was only a reprieve for one week out of the year, it was was looked forward to, and to this day, quite a few years later, young adults will come up to us, and remind us that they knew us from the Crozier camp. That makes us feel good as well.

So when someone, and they do frequently, inquires about our present day involvement with the Salvation Army, on a number of fronts (but not belonging to the church itself), we attempt to explain, how nice it feels to help the less fortunate deal with tough times. And for those who have a little edge to their questioning, or a pre-conceived idea that getting welfare is a cop-out from finding the resourcefulness within, to get a job, well I don't waste a lot of time trying to make converts to my / our way of thinking. If they persist, I might suggest to them, that they join me some time, to help at the Salvation Army, and talk with the Captain, about what they see every day of the week, throughout the year. I will of course invite them to visit, for free, one of our annual benefit concerts, our musician sons and friends, put on as a fundraiser for the food bank, at Christmas…..to see for themselves how nice it is to support a church that never blinks when it comes to shouldering the task of helping the less fortunate…..and how grateful they are for kindnesses bestowed…..when what we are doing…..in fact, is the bare minimum of being good and caring neighbors, with hometown values. When Jacob Marley's ghost tells Ebenezer Scrooge that "Mankind was our business," in the classic book, "A Christmas Carol," can you find for me, any more profound statement, that describes how we should act towards all of humanity……those able to live comfortably, and those who can not afford the comforts we so often, and casually take for granted?

My parents lived to be quite elderly, and could claim with accuracy, they had worked long and hard for most of their lives. My father was in the Royal Canadian Navy during World War II, and I was enormously proud of his contribution to our enduring freedom. I told him so. I wrote an editorial piece about Ed, in my weekly newspaper column, expressing a son's pride for his father's sacrifices. He was a kid when he went to war. I know he like the column, because we found it tucked inside one of his favorite books, when clearing up his estate.

Yet folks, as staunch as these people were, about social assistance, and those who shouldn't get it, they themselves absolutely required every cent of their government pensions, in order to survive….even to have balanced diets. They took what ever supplements they were entitled…..and they said that was because "We worked all our lives. We deserve this." When my mother entered a nursing home, Ed had no choice but to apply for assistance……as the costs would have bankrupted him. It was in this period, he mellowed a tad, and wasn't so quick to critique the social assistance network. As it was, my parents, at this late time in their lives, were a financial disaster. While it was resolved with some family intervention, it wasn't my dad's happiest moment, to relay this state of the union……and that he was going to need the pension supplement to stay in his apartment……and occasionally have some meat to eat.

There are unfair and ugly circumstances we face in this mortal coil, that we don't believe will happen to nice, conscientious people. While pontificating now, sitting confidently in our armchairs, it doesn't seem possible we could be struck down by a medical crisis, that would eat away at the retirement nest egg. It seems impossible that this could happen…….when everything else is so good…..when even the tap doesn't drip, or the spider doesn't clutter up the high corners with webs…..or there's never another unsolicited telemarketer to ring the phone. Stuff happens. Life is just like that. And when my father was in great financial peril, and had a huge debt to deal with, the government gave him a supplement, and his family came to the rescue. It's just what the system of support is supposed to do. Right? Now suppose we weren't able to offer this assistance when it was most critically needed? And he, for some reason, couldn't have qualified for a supplement? So here was a veteran, on a tight financial budget, in peril of being tossed out of his apartment. Yup, he wasn't the best on budgeting, but then again, my mother's prescriptions were an enormous strain on their budget. We didn't blame the government for the shortfalls of our family. But it would have been a lot worse, without the pension safety net. What are our seniors facing here?

Now how many Canadians are presently in this danger zone? How many more are quickly on their way toward disaster? Too many!

Pension reform? Food banks have just been guaranteed they'll never be forced out of business, due to lack of demand.

And just in case you think the underlying current here is a political stripe, well, it isn't so. I do not belong to any political party, and have no plan to join one, any time soon. If they should ask me to join, I'd given them that classic Woody Allen come-back, that "I wouldn't belong to any group that would have a guy like me as a member."

ANTIQUE BUSINESS HAS LONG BEEN MY CHOICE OF RRSP - SO 67 WILL SOON BE THE MAGIC NUMBER FOR PENSION

SUZANNE AND I BEGAN BIRCH HOLLOW ANTIQUES, SHORTLY AFTER SON ANDREW WAS BORN, IN THE LATE 1980'S, AS A BIG HEAD START TO A RETIREMENT BUSINESS. OUR PLAN WAS TO SLOWLY AND PROPORTIONALLY BUILD THE BUSINESS NAME UP, OVER THE DECADES SHE WORKED AS A TEACHER. I HAD LEFT MY NEWSPAPER EMPLOYMENT IN 1990, TO BECOME A FULL TIME MR. MOM, WHILE OPERATING OUR SMALL CO-OP SHOP IN BRACEBRIDGE. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY CONCERNED ABOUT PENSION DEFICIENCIES AND ALTHOUGH I'VE CONTRIBUTED, IT PROBABLY HASN'T BEEN ENOUGH TO PROVIDE MUCH FUTURE INCOME FROM A GOVERNMENT SOURCE. SO SINCE WE LAUNCHED THE BUSINESS, IT HAS BEEN A PRIORITY TO LONG-RANGE PLAN FOR ANTIQUES AND COLLECTIBLES, TO BE THE ROCKET BOOSTERTHAT KEEPS US CHUGGING ALONG WELL INTO THE FUTURE. I KNOW A LOT OF FOLKS WHO HAVE DONE THE SAME THING…..RETIRING TO PURSUE THEIR PREVIOUS PASSTIME, OF ANTIQUE HUNTING AND GATHERING, GOING PRO WHEN THE NINE TO FIVE, FIVE DAYS A WEEK, ENDS WITH THE GOLD WATCH…..OR FRAMED CERTIFICATE OF APPRECIATION.

WHEN YOU READ ABOUT THE POTENTIAL CHANGES COMING TO PENSION BENEFITS IN CANADA, AND ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS BEING CONSIDERED, BY GOLLY, I'M GLAD WE STARTED PLANNING A LONG TIME AGO FOR RETIREMENT. THERE ARE PEOPLE I KNOW RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD BE DEVASTATED IF THIS CAME INTO BEING SOONER THAN LATER. WE HAVE LONG BEEN FASTIDIOUS ABOUT SOCKING RESOURCES AWAY, IN PREPARATION FOR A TIME WHEN THINGS WOULD BE LEANER THAN TODAY. THE ANTIQUE BUSINESS HAS BEEN MY PASSION SINCE EARLY ADULTHOOD, BUT IT COULD NOT STAND ON ITS OWN AS I HAVE TRIED TWICE, IN TWO MAINSTREET LOCATIONS. EACH TIME, RENTAL COSTS AND INSURANCE PUSHED US BACK INTO THE RANK OF "ATTIC DEALERS" PURSUING SALE VENUES, ANTIQUES SHOWS, OPEN AIR MARKETS, AND ONLINE SALES, WHICH FOR MOST OF A DECADE, WERE A REAL BOON TO OUR BUSINESS ECONOMY.

BUT TRUTHFULLY, WE WANTED A BUSINESS FOR OURSELVES, THAT WAS MUCH SLOWER PACED THAN HAVING A MAIN STREET RETAIL LOCATION AGAIN. WE WANT THE FREEDOM TO BE ABLE TO SELL WHERE WE WANT, AND WHAT WE WANT, ON A SCALE THAT ALLOWS A LOT MORE DOWN-TIME, AND A MUCH LESS DEMANDING PACE. WE'VE GOT A FEW YEARS TO GO YET, TO FINALIZE THE RETIREMENT PROTOCOL. THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT MAY HAVE TACKED ON A COUPLE OF EXTRA YEARS, WITH THESE PROPOSED CHANGES FOR BENEFITS. AS A FORMER REPORTER, WHO COVERED A LOT OF GOVERNMENT PROTOCOLS IN THE PAST, IT'S JUST MORE OF THE SAME……AND IT WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE……AND IT WILL DEMAND A FULL RE-EXAMINATION OF OUR BUSINESS PLANS. MANY FOLKS ARE IN THE SAME BOAT…..SO WE'VE GOT LOTS OF COMPANY, SCRAMBLING TO MAKE PREPARATIONS FOR WHAT NOW SEEMS INEVITABLE. FOR OUR BOYS, STILL IN THEIR EARLY 20'S, IT WILL BE A LOT DIFFERENT THAN WHAT WE'VE ENJOYED OF THE PENSION SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY TO DATE. THEY NEED TO BE PUTTING A LOT MORE MONEY AWAY FOR THOSE YEARS. PROBABLY AS MUCH AS 20 PERCENT OF THEIR ANNUAL INCOME. RIGHT NOW IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE. NOT MUCH WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT REALITY. YOU STASH AWAY WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD.

Back when we had our main street Bracebridge shop, which struggled through the huge damnation of the early 1990's recession, that devalued our new house $30,000 in less than a year, I had the chance to talk with quite a few visitors who had been retired prematurely by business collapses and widespread lay-offs. You know, it was the only time, I hated being in the antique trade. The misery I saw face to face over my counter, was simply awful, in an environs we had been so proud of, and eager to expand. I can't tell you how many times, I was asked to come out to a car in the parking lot, to see some family heirlooms for sale. The unfortunate reality was that we were on about the same level of newfound poverty. I'd lost three significant means of employment by 1991, including a writing job, a weekly radio gig, a museum position, and a retail downturn that was hurting the antique trade. If I'd had money this would have been the time to invest big time, because there wasn't a day in the shop, I wasn't forced to deal with some heart-wrenching story, from some poor soul who didn't have enough money to feed themselves, let alone the family I saw in those cars…….some of them doubling as cosy residences on wheels. Half the time I'd look in the trunks of these cars, and see nothing but second hand items, and junk frankly that had no cash value whatsoever……yet these people held high hope they could get some gas and grocery money. I didn't even have money to offer them, as a act of generosity. We had a young family as well, and a honking big mortgage on a devalued house. I don't know how many times I said to Suzanne that I couldn't stand being in there any more. It was too depressing.

The folks looking over the counter at me were desperate. Not desperate enough to rob me, but to offer me jewelry off their body to get gas money. I had one woman ask for a loan of twenty bucks, that she would repay the next day. I didn't even have twenty dollars in the money box, as I'd bought other items off people, who showed up at opening each morning. When I tried to explain to her that I was pretty low, and really couldn't afford to offer a loan, she began taking off the gold rings on her fingers, tossing them in front of me. "Please, please can you give me twenty dollars, so I can buy gas for my car." I'm not a jeweler but I knew the value of the rings was way over twenty dollars worth…..and when she started to cry, I confess to great weakness, and gave her the money I had in the till, money from an envelope I had prepared for a consignor later that day, and about ten bucks I had in my pocket. It was more than the twenty bucks she asked for, but I couldn't handle the tears. She took the money, thanked me, ran up the stairs, and I just sat there thinking that this was not a good line of work for me. This wasn't the profession I had dreamed of, for all those years. I was becoming a pawn shop, and I began disliking what was supposed to be my life's work…..our retirement business. I knew a shop format was not for me. I couldn't take rejecting these people, and I certainly didn't like buying their heirloom pieces for a tiny fraction of their actual value….because I couldn't offer anywhere near what I should have…..and they couldn't afford to turn low-ball offers down.

You know, we still have those rings, from the lady, tucked away in a box, thinking that one day I will meet her again…..because I'd never forget her…..just to give those rings back. I certainly could never sell them, that's for sure. It just wouldn't be right, benefitting from her misery. We've always been careful what we buy and pay close attention to the circumstances that afford our buying opportunities. What we tolerated for five years in that store-front, did very much change my opinion of being in this trade during economic calamities. I don't want to own a pawn shop. I don't have the capitalist killer instinct some folks have, and I concur with Dickens old Fezziwig, that there is more to life than money……and that a business is also a way of life, one comes to know and appreciate. This time period in the antique trade, very nearly forced me to quit the business altogether. But the positives have always outweighed the negatives, especially now that we're back on track as retirement antiquers.

There is no moral to the story. We aren't model antique dealers, and we suspect most established business folks who read this, will think of us a pathetic, bleeding heart, moralists, who should join a commune, instead of running a business in the first place. We've always welcomed criticism. And we've always made the disclaimer, that we are not role models in the trade. We are antique dealers because we love history, and the items produced during historic times. We wish to carry on the trade until the end…..and it would be an honor, if the last transaction, of an old heart, was the successful purchase of a long sought-after painting…..for my family to enjoy…….and my last wish, for a few moments before the grim reaper's harvest, to enjoy the milestones of an enterprise I forged from passion…… and not much more. So I won't be retiring from the antique business. It will retire me!

Thanks so much for joining today's blog.

Sports Memorabilia, Hockey, Rimstead, Eddie Shack

THE OLD HOCKEY JERSEY, PAUL RIMSTEAD, AND A BOOK ABOUT EDDY SHACK -

THE BOOK RIMSTEAD DIDN'T FINISH, BUT ROSS BREWITT DID

IN THE FIELD OF ANTIQUES AND COLLECTIBLES, MY DEPTH OF APPRECIATION GOES MUCH DEEPER THAN SUZANNE'S. I WON'T SAY THIS TO HER FACE, AND SHE WON'T READ ANYTHING I WRITE. THAT'S NICE EH? SINCE WE MARRIED, THE ONLY TIME SUZANNE WILL READ ANYTHING I'VE COMPOSED, IS WHEN IT'S A NOTE ON THE FRIDGE , TELLING HER I'VE GONE OUT WITH THE BOYS FOR A BEER. GUESS WHAT SHE DOES WITH THAT NOTE?

AS WE ARE AN EFFERVESCENT COUPLE, ALWAYS READY TO DEBATE THE OTHER INTO GENTLE MEADOW-LIKE OBLIVION, SHE WILL ARGUE, FOR EXAMPLE, WHAT CONSTITUTES FULL FLEDGED PROVENANCE. IN REGARDS TO WHAT I WEIGH AS BEING IMPORTANT PROVENANCE, ATTACHED TO A SPECIFIC PIECE. WHILE SHE AND I DISAGREE ABOUT WHAT CASUAL PROVENANCE MIGHT MEAN……SUCH AS A BOOK MARTHA STEWART HAS SINGED, OR A COOKERY POT SHE MAY HAVE USED ON ONE OF HER SHOWS. I'LL TAKE THE BOOK OBVIOUSLY, BUT I LIKE WHAT IS ATTACHED TO THE POT. FOR ME IT'S SIGNIFICANT, THOUGH SHE CHALLENGES ME ABOUT HOW MUCH SOMETHING LIKE THAT IS WORTH. NOT A LOT, OF COURSE, UNLESS MARTHA SIGNED THAT AS WELL. BUT IF I CAN GIVE AN ACCURATE PROVENANCE FOR A PIECE, SUCH AS THE EXAMPLE GIVEN, IT WILL SELL FASTER THAN THE SAME COOKERY COLLECTIBLE WITHOUT A STORY ATTACHED. SO THIS IS THE PREAMBLE OF JUST SUCH A STORY……. ABOUT A SMELLY OLD HOCKEY COLLECTIBLE THOUGHT TO BE OF SENTIMENTAL VALUE ALONE. I DISAGREE. HERE'S HOW IT CAME DOWN, AT BIRCH HOLLOW ONE DAY.

AWHILE BACK, SUZANNE BEGAN CULLING OUR CLOTHES. KIND OF LIKE THE FEBRUARY 2ND APPEARANCE OF THE GROUNDHOG. SHE LIKES TO GET A HEAD-START ON SPRING CLEANING. THERE'S A PARALLEL GROUNDHOG-LIKE TRADITION HERE, AT BIRCH HOLLOW, WHEN SUZANNE GETS THAT GLINT IN HER EYE…….AND, LIKE A LASER BEAM, STARES AT MY CLOSET. SHE HAS SHOWN IN THE PAST, A WILLINGNESS TO GET RID OF A WARDROBE, WHILE I'M STILL CONTENTLY WEARING IT. WE ALWAYS SEND OUR GOOD QUALITY CLOTHES DONATIONS, TO THE GRAVENHURST SALVATION ARMY, AND I'M SURE EACH TIME I ARRIVE WITH DONATION BAGS, THE STAFF WINKS AT ONE ANOTHER……"MRS CURRIE'S MAKING TED CHANGE HIS CLOTHES AGAIN." IN FAIRNESS, SHE DOES THE SAME THING WITH HER OWN CLOTHING, AND LINENS, SEVERAL TIMES A YEAR. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT UNTIL IT GETS PERSONAL. I HATE BEING TOLD, "YOU DON'T WANT THAT ANY MORE….SURELY!!!" ESPECIALLY IF I HAVE SOME STRANGE ATTACHMENT TO THE PIECE…..AS FOR EXAMPLE THE "WRITING SWEATER" I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW. IT'S DAMN-NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO EXPLAIN TO MY DEAR WIFE, WHY AN OLD SWEATER HELPS ME COMPOSE. I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND IT, BUT I AM SUPERSTITIOUS ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS. ARE YOU? MAYBE IF I ALSO EXPLAIN THAT I WAS A LONG-SERVING GOALTENDER, WHO I'M TOLD, HAD SOME PRETTY INTERESTING HABITS IN THE GOAL CREASE. I DON'T REMEMBER THIS MYSELF, OTHER THAN THE DANCE I HAD TO DO IN ORDER TO KEEP MY FEET FROM FREEZING, IN THOSE NATURAL ICE ARENAS, IN PORT CARLING, BALA, MACTIER AND BAYSVILLE. TEAM-MATES TELL ME NOW ABOUT MY "HITTING" THE GOALPOSTS WITH MY STICK, THREE TIMES ON EACH SIDE (NOW THAT'S NOT PECULIAR. IT WAS GOAL CREASE POSITIONING), "THE BOB-UP AND DOWNS" BETWEEN A WHISTLE AND THE FACE-OFF, THE CONSTANT SIDE TO SIDE SLIDING, EVEN WHEN THE PUCK WAS IN THE OTHER END, AND THE INCESSANT "TALKING TO MYSELF," THAT ALWAYS CONFOUNDED THE DEFENSE, WHEN THEY THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO THEM ABOUT THE INCOMING FORWARDS. HECK I WAS TALKING TO JESUS, PRAYING THAT I WOULDN'T GET ANOTHER SLAPSHOT IN THE NECK OR WORSE. AS GOALTENDERS GO, THIS ISN'T STRANGE AT ALL.

ANYWAY, I DIGRESS FROM MY WIFE'S CLOTHING CULL. WHEN SHE CAME TO ME WITH MY ORIGINAL "RINK RAT" HOCKEY SWEATER, MOTIONING THAT IT WAS "GOING IN THE BAG," I MADE A ROGER CROZIER DIVE FOR THE PUCK, AND GOT A SWEATER INSTEAD. "YOU'RE NOT DONATING THIS HOCKEY SWEATER……IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME," I SAID. "ALL THESE CLOTHES ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU, TED, BUT SOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TO LET GO," SHE ANSWERED WITH GLAZED OVER EYES, AND DEEP FURROWS ON HER BROW. "THIS WAS THE VERY FIRST RINK RAT SWEATER EVER MADE," I RETORTED, ANGRY I HAD TO DEFEND MY SPORTS HERITAGE TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HOCKEY. "IT'S JUST A RATTY OLD HOCKEY JERSEY THAT YOU NEVER WEAR," SHE CHALLENGED. "IT'S TOO SMALL FOR ME NOW," I STATED RATHER BASHFULLY AT THIS POINT, LOOKING DOWN AT MY PROTRUDING GUT. "SO THERE YOU GO, ALL THE MORE REASON TO TOSS IT IN THAT BAG," SHE POINTED OUT, ONE HAND ON MY SWEATER, THE OTHER ON THE DONATION BAG. "IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE," I BLURTED, AND TUCKED IT UNDER MY ARM, AND DID A NEAT DEKE AROUND HER, AND OUT THE BEDROOM DOOR. I HID IT IN MY ARCHIVES ROOM. DON'T TELL HER. ACTUALLY SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE FACT THERE ARE SPIDERS DOWN THERE, SO SHE TENDS TO STAY CLEAR.

So here's the story of the Herald-Gazette Rink Rat sweater. First of all, there was a young artist by the name of Chris Minz, I believe, and he was asked by a friend of one of the players, if he could design a logo for our newspaper hockey team……which I had named The Rink Rats. The co-founder of the team was Brant Scott, one of the newspaper's star reporters. When we got the artist's drawing to peruse, we knew it was a winner and raced to get it transferred to hockey jerseys. They were done in the blue and white color tradition of the Toronto Maple Leafs…..which even at the time, kind of destined us to last place as a matter of routine. The problem was, the guy who had them made up for us, got the sizes mixed up very badly. When I say this, there is no exaggeration on my part. We were so excited to open up the box of new…..and very expensive sweaters, holding them up for the camera before trying them on, that it was too late to issue a warning about the fact……..well, they had been ordered from a minor hockey catalogue. Now at that time, the only lightweight on the whole team was goaltender Harry Ranger, who was about three feet tall standing on ten phone books. So his sweater fit. His was the only one. For about a half hour, the big lads of the Rink Rats fought a losing battle……and we hadn't even made it to the ice yet. We were so determined to make those sweaters fit, we just pulled those suckers down hard over the gear and the guts, and got stuck…..real bad, such that a few of us couldn't even drop our arms. I thought I was going to suffocate, tangled up in this tiny hockey jersey. If you can imagine the carnage of fat guys in small sweaters; it was all quite hilarious, and this was just the dressing-room scene. You should have seen us on the ice. Now that was funny. If we fell, we needed help to get up. Over the years, before we could afford new hockey sweaters, we had stretched the fabric pretty well, to use them for practice games at least.

So here was a special game. Brant had gone to work to arrange a benefit hockey game, in support of our Rink Rat team-mate, Harold Sher, also the coach of the Bracebridge Blades Precision Skating Team. He was able to secure the CKVR No-Stars, and the battle was touted as the supreme test between the durability of the print media, over the folks who have it easy in electronic news…..print versus television. We were tougher by far, and all you had to look at, was our snug fitting attire, to know just how aggressive we were. It took about fifteen minutes of grunting and twisting, and begging God for assistance, to get those sweaters on. Only the goaltender's sweater fit, and the rest of us looked really big and mean in those tight, short sweaters. True enough. Looks can be deceiving. Anyway, Brant thought it would be neat to invite Toronto Sun Columnist Paul Rimstead, back home to his native Bracebridge, to call the play by play from the arena gondola. Geez, we were stunned when he phoned back and agreed to the do the gig. So we went nuts on publicity. Brant wrote it up in his column, and I did the same in mine, which then was called "From the Bleachers." We both had lots of readers and with CKVR doing roughly the same type of promotion, it became clear, well before the actual game, that Harold Sher was going to get lots of money to help The Blades finance their travel requirements to competitions.

When I arrived at the rink early, there was Paul standing in the lobby with Miss Hinky, soon to be his wife, well known to readers of his daily Toronto Sun column. A lot of folks then didn't recognize Paul or Miss Hinky, and that was good, because they would have been mobbed by the huge crowd that had turned out. It would be one of the largest crowds ever at the Bracebridge Arena since its construction. We had know idea this was even possible. We found out later, hundreds had come out to see Paul Rimstead…..not the game.

So we ushered Paul down to our dressing room to meet with the Rink Rats, who at this time, were performing the pre-game ritual of trying to get into the damn sweaters, which was never easy or done in a timely fashion. I don't know what was going on in my mind, but I offered Paul my sweater to put on for a photograph, Brant wanted to take, for the next issue of The Herald-Gazette. I knew it was going to happen, because Paul had a similar gut as my own, but that was the finishing-dilemma. It got stuck going over his head, and it didn't get any better after that. i though we were going to have to call for the jaws of life, or a taylor with shears to cut him out of the Rink Rat blues, before he suffocated. It took three Rink Rats to help pull the sweater down, so Brant could take a photo of Paul, in a rat-faced sweater, while wearing a white stetson. It made a great photograph. But trying to get that sweater off wasn't without adventure either. Let's just say it was a team effort to free the man. He went on to call the play by play from the gondola, and enjoy the ovation he was afforded, for his accomplishments in………of course, the print media.

Knowing my affection for Paul Rimstead, and his brilliant writing career, Suzanne dropped her case against the sweater, tied up the bag, and we agreed never to re-visit this issue again. And I also hid it, far, far away, just in case she was crossing her fingers, while she made that promise.

Quite a while after Paul died, I got to know hockey writer, public speaker Ross Brewitt, who I'd written a story about for the local press, when he appeared at a local book shop to sign copies of his newest book, which I think was "Last Minute of Play." I actually helped him get his regular syndicated column published up here, and we worked on a couple of other projects, including a public speaking engagement with the Crozier Foundation, when he gave a roast for Roger, and his days playing net for the Detroit Red Wings, Buffalo Sabres and Washington Capitals. One day we were chatting, and I happened to mention that he really should talk to his friend Eddie Shack, about the possibility of finishing what Rimstead had begun many years earlier. Ed and Paul were great friends, and there is even a famous picture of Paul and Miss Hinky following their wedding at Niagara Falls, with Eddie Shack, in a "novelty" barrel (backdrop), appearing as if they are tumbling over the falls together. Brewitt was the one writer who I thought could capture Eddie as well as Rimstead, so when I heard later that the two had got together, and the project was a "go," geez, that made me feel real good. I was invited down to the book launch but I got snowed-in, at home here in Gravenhurst. I got signed copies of the books for sons Andrew and Robert.

I was just happy that Rimstead's promise to write Shack's biography came to some fruition after all. With the books, I'm giving the boys my Rink Rats sweaters. Andrew, the oldest, gets the new one that actually fits, and Robert, who shares my enthusiasm for Rimmer, will get the one he was trapped in…..for those nervous moments before facing the 1,700 fans, many who were there to congratulate the kid who made it to the big leagues……becoming one of Canada's best known and loved newspaper columnists. He lived hard and died young. And there were a million fans left to mourn his passing.

For about four years, I had my old Rink Rat Sweater hanging in our antique shop, on display-only, with a note attached, about the time Rimmer came home for a visit, called a benefit hockey game, and almost strangled in Ted Currie's hockey jersey. It's kind of a strange sports collectible but what the heck…..it's important to me. Suzanne kept trying to dust it off, subsequently knocking it to the floor, and then looking back at me as if I should apologize, for having hung it there in the first place. I should have kept the note attached when I brought the sweater back home. It might have been a deterrent to my partner, causing her to never, ever, touch that glorious hockey rat. I think she's jealous as well, of my cherished hockey certificate, framed above my desk, acknowledging my honorary status as a "Flying Father," as awarded to me, after another benefit game, by Father Les Costello. Which makes me "Holier than thou?" Just saying!!!!

So I must surely offer an apology to the Salvation Army. I will find an appropriate substitute hockey sweater to donate instead.

ANTIQUE GOALIE PADS THAT SHOULD HAVE STAYED RETIRED

IT WAS JUST LIKE MY OLD BASEBALL GLOVE, THAT I BOUGHT AT BAMFORD'S CORNER STORE, IN BRACEBRIDGE, ONE SUMMER DAY IN ABOUT 1967. IT COST ME ABOUT FIVE BUCKS, THE MONEY RAISED FROM MOWING THE LAWN FOR OUR APARTMENT LANDLORD, HILDA WEBER. SHE GAVE ME TWO BUCKS FOR EACH CUT, SO AFTER THREE MOWING JOBS, I HAD A BUCK LEFT OVER THAT I BLEW ON BLACK-BALLS AND JUJUBES. BUT THAT GLOVE. THAT GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL GLOVE THAT HAD PRACTICALLY NO PADDING IN THE PALM. BUT YOU KNOW, I PLAYED WITH THAT BEAT UP OLD HUNK OF LEATHER AND WEBBING, UNTIL THE MID 1970'S. BY THAT TIME I HAD SUCH A LAYERED CALLOUS, ON THE PALM OF MY HAND, THAT I COULD CATCH BARE-HANDED WITHOUT ANY SERIOUS PAIN. I RETIRED IT TO THE CURRIE SPORTS HALL OF FAME. THEN, LIKE MY FAVORITE FOOTBALL, I GAVE THEM TO MY BOYS, AND THEY DISAPPEARED SOMEWHERE IN THE YARD OF BRACEBRIDGE PUBLIC SCHOOL AT RECESS.

WHEN I GRADUATED UNIVERSITY, AFTER PLAYING FOR A NUMBER OF TEAMS AT YORK, I CAME HOME TO BRACEBRIDGE POORER THAN THE LOCAL CHURCH-MOUSE. I PUT AN AD IN THE CLASSIFIEDS OF THE LOCAL PAPER, AND BY GOLLY, I FOUND A TAKER SHORTLY AFTER THE HERALD-GAZETTE HIT THE NEWS STAND. A FEW YEARS LATER, WHEN I STARTED PLAYING SENIOR HOCKEY, I CAME BACK AS A FORWARD BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SHELLING OUT BIG BUCKS FOR NEW PADS. A GOALIE FRIEND, WHO WAS RETIRING, OFFERED TO GIVE ME HIS GOALIE PADS, THAT HAD BEEN GIVEN TO HIM SIMILARLY BY AN OLD GOALIE WHEN HE RETIRED. THEY WERE PROBABLY MORE THAN 50 YEARS OLD. THEY WEREN'T ALL THAT PROTECTIVE ANY MORE, AND I WAS STARTING TO FEEL THE SLAPSHOTS THROUGH THE PADDING, TO THE POINT I WAS GETTING BRUISED. BUT I FIGURED I DIDN'T HAVE LONG TO PLAY ANYWAY, SO WHY SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON NEW EQUIPMENT WHEN THESE WILL GET ME THROUGH A FEW MORE YEARS.

AT ONE POINT, YOU KNOW, I DID RETIRE THEM. I FOUND AN OPEN SHELF IN MY OFFICE, AND MOUNTED THEM ON THE TOP, WITH A LITTLE NOTE……TED'S GOALIE PADS FROM THE GOLDEN ERA OF HOCKEY. ALL MY FRIENDS WHO VISITED HAD TO TRY THEM ON, AND PLAY SOME INDOOR HOCKEY WITH A GOLF BALL, OR WHATEVER WAS ROLLING ABOUT THE FLOOR.

I GOT A CALL ONE DAY, FROM A FELLOW ON A TEAM I USED TO PLAY ON, THAT THEIR GOALIE HAD INJURED HIS GROIN, AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO MAKE AN IMPORTANT GAME THAT EVENING IN BRACEBRIDGE. WHILE I WAS TALKING ON THE PHONE, I WAS ALSO POKING AT THE PADS ON THE SHELF, WONDERING IF THEY HAD ONE MORE GAME LEFT IN THEM. SEEMED GOOD AT THE TIME. I PROBABLY COULD HAVE PREDICTED DISASTER IF I'D BOTHERED TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY AT THE FAILING FABRIC ON THE SIDES. BUT I DIDN'T, AND IT WAS A FEW YEARS BEFORE I MARRIED THE MAJOR-GENERAL, WHO MOST CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE GONE OVER THE PADS WITH A FINE-TOOTH-COMB, BEFORE LETTING ME GO OUT TO PLAY.

SO I MADE IT ONTO THE ICE WITHOUT HURTING MYSELF, AND ACTUALLY HAD LET IN ONLY A COUPLE OF GOALS AT THE END OF TWO PERIODS OF PLAY. I THINK, IF MEMORY SERVES, WE WERE AHEAD AT THAT POINT BY ONE GOAL. THE THIRD PERIOD WAS PRETTY INTENSE, AS OUR SIDE SEEMED TO HAVE A PLAYER IN THE PENALTY BOX CONSTANTLY. TOWARD THE END OF THE PERIOD, WE WERE DOWN BY ONE GOAL. BUT IT WAS A GOOD GAME, AND OUR LADS WERE POUNDING THEIR NET. SOON HOWEVER, WE WOUND UP IN THE PENALTY BOX AGAIN, AND IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR ME…..WELL, MY PADS.

IT WAS LIKE A MARX BROTHERS SKIT…..A LITTLE BIT OF THE THREE STOOGES. A PASS WOULD GO BACK TO THE POINT, AND THE DEFENSEMAN WOULD TAKE A SHOT, SPRAWL OVER THE ICE; THEN OUR FORWARD, ON HIS ARSE, THEIR CENTER LOOKING TO SHOOT, DOWN, WITH OUR FORWARDS, UP AND DOWN. GEEZ, NO ONE COULD STAY ON THEIR FEET. IT WAS HILARIOUS. THE RIGHT WINGER WOULD SKATE UP ALONG THE BOARDS, GET READY TO PASS, AND FALL ON HIS FACE. THE GUY GETTING THE PUCK WAS DOWN. EVEN THE REFEREE HAD FALLEN ONCE, TWICE, ABOUT THREE TIMES, BEFORE A LINESMAN BLEW THE WHISTLE. THE GUYS WERE STILL LAYING ON THE ICE CURSING THE GUY THAT TRIPPED THEM.

SO THEN THE REFEREE CAME UP TO ME WITH A HANDFUL OF STRAW AND SAID, "HEY CURRIE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN REF?" I ANSWERED, STILL LAUGHING ABOUT THE PLAYERS GETTING UP OFF THE ICE, ONLY TO FALL BACK DOWN. "IT'S STRAW," HE YELLED INTO MY MASK. "WHERE'S IT COMING FROM," I ASKED. "YOUR PADS……IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR GOALIE PADS." BY GOLLY, THE MAN IN STRIPES WAS RIGHT. BOTH PADS HAD EXPLODED. THERE WAS STRAW AND WHAT LOOKED LIKE HORSE HAIR EVERYWHERE ON THE ICE. THERE DIDN'T SEEM TO BE A BIT OF CLEAR ICE IN MY END. PLAYERS COULDN'T EVEN GET OFF THE ICE WITHOUT GOING ARSE OVER TEA-KETTLE. "CURRIE YOU BASTARD…..I THINK I BROKE MY ASS," ONE GUY YELLED AT ME, MAKING THE TRADITIONAL KNIFE-CUT MOTION ACROSS HIS THROAT, TO LET ME KNOW I WAS A MARKED MAN. YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WAS A GOOD THING THE GUYS COULDN'T STAND UP LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A SHOT, BECAUSE THERE WASN'T AN INCH OF PADDING LEFT AFTER THE FATEFUL EXPLOSION, OF MY RELIC GOAL PADS.

I SHOULD HAVE LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE. THE PADS SHOULD HAVE STAYED ON THAT SHELF, FOR INDOOR PLAY ONLY. THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT STRESSED THE FABRIC IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO I GUESS THE MORAL OF THE STORY, SOME ANTIQUES JUST CAN'T BE UN-RETIRED, FOR THE SAFETY OF ONE AND ALL.

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