Remembering Roger Crozier Who Helped Me Overcome Fear Of Flying

MBNA Newsletter that I wrote for the September 1994 Issue regarding the hockey career of Roger Crozier

MY BIGGEST CIRCULATION AS A WRITER, WAS A ONE-TIME EVENT, A NEWSLETTER, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IN ADVANCE

A HOCKEY FAN, A PROUD HOMETOWNER, AND A COLLECTOR OF ROGER CROZIER MEMORABILIA

     "A REVOLUTION OF THINKING WAS UNDER WAY. IT WAS FASHIONABLE TO BE A GOALIE PROBABLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HOCKEY HISTORY. THAT WAS ROGER'S INFLUENCE HERE AT HOME. WE ALL WANTED TO PLAY GOAL."

     IT WAS THE FIRST THING I READ, WHEN I WAS HANDED THE MBNA NEWSLETTER, DATED SEPTEMBER 5-11, 1994. I THOUGHT IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD QUOTE, AS A GENERAL EXPRESSION, OF HOW THE KIDS OF BRACEBRIDGE, ONTARIO, ESPECIALLY, CIRCA 1966, FELT ABOUT THEIR HOMETOWN HERO, ROGER CROZIER, OF THE DETROIT RED WINGS, OF THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE. WELL FOLKS, I WRITE (AND WROTE) SO MUCH, (ESPECIALLY SO BACK IN 1994), THAT I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT I WAS THE ONE BEING QUOTED, IN A WIDELY DISTRIBUTED COPY OF "MBNA THIS WEEK," THE AMERICAN BANK, WHERE ROGER HAD BECOME, AFTER RETIREMENT FROM HOCKEY, AN EXECUTIVE MANAGER, IN NEWARK, DELAWARE. I WAS THINKING INITIALLY THAT THE GUY WHO WROTE THIS WAS SPOT-ON DESCRIBING HOW WE LOOKED-UP TO THE ROOKIE NETMINDER ON THE SAME TEAM AS GORDIE HOW. I JUST GOT CAUGHT OFF GUARD, AND DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT I HAD WRITTEN THE DESCRIPTION, FOR AN EARLIER PUBLICATION, BACK IN JULY OF THE SAME YEAR.

     AFTER THAT, I COULDN'T WAIT TO UNFOLD THE MBNA NEWSLETTER, AND LOW AND BEHOLD, I HAD WRITTEN ALMOST THE ENTIRE TWO SIDED IN-HOUSE PUBLICATION, WHICH CIRCULATED TO THE STAFF OF THEIR HUGE BANKING NETWORK, EVEN TO OVERSEAS OFFICES IN ENGLAND. FROM SEPTEMBER 5TH, TO THE 11TH, PROBABLY EVERY EMPLOYEE AT MBNA KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT A WRITER IN CANADA NAMED CURRIE, AND OF COURSE, THEY LEARNED A LOT MORE ABOUT ONE OF THEIR CORPORATE EXECUTIVES, NAMED ROGER CROZIER. WELL SIR, I WAS FLABBERGASTED. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD EVER ACHIEVED SUCH A HUGE CIRCULATION (WHICH IS THE MEASURE OF ANY WRITER'S SUCCESS), VIA ANY PUBLICATION I'VE WRITTEN FOR, UP TO 1994, AND ON TO THE PRESENT. I WAS BEING INTRODUCED TO SOME VERY SPECIAL GUESTS, DURING A MAGNIFICENTLY APPOINTED SOCIAL EVENT, HELD AT LONGWOOD GARDENS, IN PENNSYLVANIA, IN ROGER'S HONOR, AS THE CANADIAN FELLOW WHO WROTE SUCH NICE THINGS ABOUT THEIR MBNA COLLEAGUE. I AM TERRIBLE IN CIRCUMSTANCES LIKE THIS, BECAUSE I EMBARRASS VERY EASILY. YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THAT I COULD EVER BE CONSIDERED MODEST, BUT IN PERSON, I ALWAYS SHY AWAY FROM RECOGNITION. I REFUSED TO ALLOW MY MOTHER TO GIVE ME BIRTHDAY PARTIES, BECAUSE I WOULD ALWAYS SLINK UNDER THE TABLE, WHEN GUESTS WOULD SING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." I WAS A SHY KID, SHY STUDENT, SHY WHEN IT CAME TO ASKING A GIRL OUT. I WAS DELIGHTED WHEN LINDA DAWSON ASKED ME TO GO AS HER DATE, TO THE ANNUAL HIGH SCHOOL, SADIE HAWKINS DANCE, AT HALLOWE'EN; WHEN CUSTOM THEN DICTATED IT WAS UP TO THE GIRL TO DO "THE ASKING." I GOT BETTER AT ASKING GIRLS OUT, FOLLOWING THIS INTERACTION. I ACCEPTED THE INVITATION, BY THE WAY, AND HAD A GREAT TIME; AND ENJOYED HER COMPANY FOR MANY MONTHS FOLLOWING. AS FOR RESPECTFUL THANKS, HONESTLY, I'D RATHER BE SENT AN EMAIL, CARD OR LETTER, IN RECOGNITION, THAN TO RECEIVE IT IN PERSON. IT'S JUST ONE OF MY MANY QUIRKS THAT DRIVES SUZANNE NUTS. "HOW CAN YOU BE IN THE PUBLIC EYE, THE WAY YOU ARE WITH WRITING AND HISTORY, AND BE SHY OF INTERACTION," SHE ASKS. "THINK ABOUT HOW MANY LECTURES YOU'VE GIVEN AT MUSEUMS, AND A SPECIAL EVENTS. HOW DO YOU DO THOSE WITHOUT MELTING INTO A POOL?" WELL, IT WAS JUST LIKE THE DAY, WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING, THAT I BOARDED A CORPORATE JET, FOR A TRIP TO DELAWARE, CERTAIN I WAS GOING TO BE IN A NEWSPAPER FRONT-PAGER. "LOCAL WRITER PERISHES IN PLANE CRASH JUST LIKE THE BIG BOPPER!" TALK ABOUT DRAMA. I WAS FULL OF IT!

    PUBLICITY IN ALL ITS FORMS, WASN'T NEW FOR ROGER, BECAUSE HIS HOCKEY CAREER HAD EARNED HIM A HUGE MEDIA FOLLOWING, AND EVEN WITH MBNA, HE WAS A PARTICULARLY POPULAR MEMBER OF THE CORPORATE OPERATION. THE HOMETOWNERS, IN BRACEBRIDGE, ONTARIO, CANADA, WERE ALSO PROUD OF WHAT THIS LAD, FROM A FAMILY OF FOURTEEN, HAD DONE WITH HIS LIFE IN BOTH HOCKEY, AND IN THE BANKING PROFESSION. BUT TO FOOTNOTE THIS, THE PREAMBLE TO THE NEWSLETTER, CAME A MONTH OR SO EARLIER THAT SUMMER SEASON. IT CAME AFTER I HAD RESEARCHED AND WROTE, A SHORT SPORT'S BIOGRAPHY, (WITH THE BACKING OF MUSKOKA PUBLICATIONS, INCLUDING THE HERALD-GAZETTE), AS A MULTI PAGE INSERT PUBLICATION, TO HONOR ROGER, WHO WAS THEN IN THE PROCESS OF CREATING THE FUTURE "CROZIER FOUNDATION," FOR MUSKOKA YOUTH.

  A FEW YEARS EARLIER, YOU SEE, I HAD BEEN DISAPPOINTED TO FIND LITTLE IF ANY RECOGNITION, OF ROGER'S HOCKEY CAREER, ON DISPLAY AT THE BRACEBRIDGE MEMORIAL COMMUNITY CENTRE, WHICH, QUITE HONESTLY, WAS BOTH INFURIATING AND INSULTING. NOT ONLY HAD ROGER PLAYED HIS MINOR HOCKEY IN THE SAME BUILDING, BUT THE TOWN HAD ACTUALLY HAD THROWN HIM, "ROGER CROZIER DAY," WITH A DOWNTOWN PARADE, AFTER WINNING THE CONN SMYTHE TROPHY, IN THAT YEAR'S STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS. SO I SET ABOUT TO MAKE A CORRECTION. AND IT WASN'T WITHOUT OPPOSITION, THAT I FOUND EQUALLY UNSETTLING. THERE WERE A FEW LOCALS, (A VERY FEW) WHO FELT THAT I WOULD THEN HAVE TO HONOR, ALL THE OTHER ACCOMPLISHED SPORTS STARS, WHO HAD BEEN BORN IN BRACEBRIDGE, IF I WAS TO SINGLE OUT ROGER FOR RECOGNITION. I BLEW THEM ALL OFF, AND CARRIED ON WITH THE PROJECT AS I HAD INTENDED. I HAVE ALSO, OVER TIME, GIVEN THESE ATHLETES RECOGNITION IN PRINT, TO SATISFY THE CRITICS. THERE WERE ALSO A FEW PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THRILLED ABOUT A RE-DEDICATION OF ARENA DISPLAY SPACE, TO HONOR A HOMETOWN HERO. BUT I AM A PERSISTENT BUGGER, AND THE HAPPY RESOLUTION, IS THAT NOT ONLY DID WE GET A NEW DISPLAY SPACE, ALLOCATED TO ROGER, BUT RELEASED THE SMALL PUBLICATION, VIA THE COMMUNITY PRESS, DETAILING A SMALL BUT SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF HIS TRULY INTERESTING BIOGRAPHY.

     TO ADORN THE FRONT COVER OF THIS HOME INSPIRED PUBLICATION, BIRCH HOLLOW ANTIQUES, MY COMPANY, COMMISSIONED A PORTRAIT OF ROGER, MAKING A SAVE, DURING A GAME WITH MONTREAL. THE ARTIST WAS MARY THRANE AND IT WAS A BIG HIT. IT WOULD BECOME A CENTER-PIECE OF A MUCH LARGER HALL OF FAME DISPLAY CASE, FINANCED BY MBNA, FOLLOWING ROGER'S DEATH, JUST OVER A YEAR AFTER THIS NEWSLETTER CAME OFF THE PRESS. IT MADE A SUITABLE FRONT COVER, AND ALL OF THE FIVE THOUSAND PLUS INSERTS, WERE SENT OUT TO THE BRACEBRIDGE SUBSCRIBERS, AND LOCAL NEWSTANDS. I THINK I ONLY HAVE TWO OR THREE LEFT IN MY OWN ARCHIVES. IT WAS TIMED, FOR RELEASE, WHEN ROGER WAS HOSTING A CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNAMENT, AT SOUTH MUSKOKA CURLING AND GOLF CLUB. AND WE ADDED TO IT, WHEN CLUB PROFESSIONAL ROB WEBB, ASKED IF SUZANNE AND I COULD SET UP A SMALL DISPLAY OF CROZIER MEMORABILIA, AND THE PORTRAIT OF ROGER, IN THE CLUBHOUSE FOR GUESTS TO ENJOY. AS WE HAD BUILT UP QUITE A COLLECTION TO THAT POINT, (SUMMER OF 1994), WE AGREED, AND CREATED AN EXHIBIT OF ABOUT THIRTY OF THE BEST ITEMS GATHERED OVER ABOUT TWO YEARS. WHEN THE TOURNAMENT WAS OVER, WE REMOVED THE COLLECTABLES, WHICH HAD ALSO BEEN USED, A FEW WEEKS EARLIER, WHEN WE HAD A LOBBY DISPLAY AT THE ARENA, FOR THE THREE DAYS OF THE BRACEBRIDGE ANTIQUE SHOW. WHEN I'VE WRITTEN BEFORE, THAT SUZANNE AND I, AND THE BOYS, HAVE ENJOYED OUR MUSEUM EXHIBITION DAYS, THIS WAS JUST ONE OF THE EXAMPLES OF HOW WE COULD REALLY GET INTO THE SUBJECT, WE WERE RESEARCHING AND PROMOTING. AT THIS TIME IN HISTORY, WE HAD OUR FOCUS ON ROGER CROZIER, AND THAT MEANT DELVING DEEPLY INTO HIS HOCKEY BIOGRAPHY, WHICH INCLUDED ASKING ASSISTANCE FROM THE RED WINGS, THE BUFFALO SABRES AND THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS, WHERE HE EVEN TOOK A TURN A MANAGEMENT, AFTER HE HUNG UP HIS GOAL SKATES.

     WHEN I GOT A LETTER FROM ONE OF ROGER'S ASSISTANTS, AT MBNA, A FEW MONTHS LATER, ASKING IF I WOULD LIKE TO COME TO A SPECIAL EVENT, FOR ROGER, BEING HELD LATER IN SEPTEMBER, THAT SAME YEAR, I WAS AGHAST. I WANTED TO GO, OF COURSE, BUT YOU SEE, I AM DEATHLY FRIGHTENED OF FLYING. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE FLOWN MANY TIMES BEFORE, EVEN TO ENGLAND, I HAVE HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THE IN-AIR EXPERIENCE. WHEN I SHOWED SUZANNE THE INVITATION, TO FLY DOWN TO THE MBNA HEADQUARTERS IN DELAWARE, VIA A CORPORATE JET, SHE TURNED TO ME, AND WITH A STERN CLENCH OF HER JAW, "DON'T YOU DARE PULL THAT, 'I'M SCARED OF FLYING THING, THIS TIME'." I HAD USED IT BEFORE TO DUCK OUT OF OTHER FLIGHTS OF FANCY. THEY HAD GIVEN ME A COUPLE OF DAYS TO CONFIRM, AND IT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT TWO DAYS EVER. IF YOU HAVE PHOBIAS, OF ANYTHING, YOU'LL APPRECIATE THIS TROUBLING DELAY, ARRIVING AT A DECISION. ON ONE HAND, I WAS GOING TO GIVE MY WIFE A GOOD REASON TO DIVORCE ME, AND SECONDLY, I WAS GOING TO LOOK REALLY STUPID IN DELAWARE, WHEN ROGER FOUND OUT I WOULDN'T ATTEND, BECAUSE OF FEAR I MIGHT DIE IN A PLANE CRASH. BY THE WAY, ROGER WAS NOT A FAN OF FLYING DURING HIS EARLY DAYS PLAYING IN THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE. SO I THOUGHT HE, OF ALL PEOPLE, WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS APPREHENSION, ON MY PART. HE SAID TO ME LATER ON, THAT ONE OF THE GREATEST FEARS HE HAD, WASN'T ABOUT PLANES, BUT STEPPING INTO THAT GOAL CREASE, AND SEEING BOBBY HULL OR FRANK MAHOVOLICH COMING DOWN THE WING, PREPARING FOR A SLAPSHOT; MANY TAKEN TO EITHER THE FACE, OR ANOTHER PART OF THE BODY, A LITTLE LACKING IN PROTECTIVE PADDING. SO IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU CAN MUSTER THE COURAGE TO BE A GOALIE, OF WHICH I HAD BEEN FOR MANY YEARS MYSELF, THEN GETTING ON A PLANE WASN'T MUCH OF A CHALLENGE. EVERYBODY TELLS ME THE ODDS ARE STACKED IN MY FAVOR. SURVIVING THAT IS! I'VE NEVER HAD MUCH USE FOR STATISTICS I DIDN'T GATHER MYSELF.

     SUZANNE MADE IT CLEAR, I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO ATTEND THE SPECIAL EVENT, AS IT WOULD BE THE FIRST CHANCE, AT LEAST AS AN ADULT, WHERE I COULD HAVE A FACE TO FACE, WITH THE GOALTENDER, I HAD IDOLIZED SINCE CHILDHOOD. WHEN ROGER AND RON INGRAM USED TO RUN THE RED WING HOCKEY SCHOOL, AT THE BRACEBRIDGE ARENA, IN THE 1960'S, I WAS GIVEN A ONE WEEK OPPORTUNITY TO JOIN THE PROGRAM, WITH A FEW OTHER KIDS, WHO SHOWED SOME PROMISE, BUT NEEDED POLISH. MY PARENTS COULD NEVER HAVE AFFORDED TO SEND ME TO THE CAMP, SO IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR ROGER'S KINDNESS, I WOULD HAVE BEEN WANDERING AROUND TOWN, PLAYING PICK-UP BALL, AND BEING BORED IN THE SUMMER HEAT. THAT WEEK AT CAMP WAS AMAZING, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM ROGER HIMSELF, ABOUT TENDING THE PIPES (NET). IT WAS THE TIME OF THE DETROIT RACE RIOTS, AND WE HAD A LOT OF INNER CITY KIDS FROM DETROIT, AND ROGER AND RON INGRAM, MADE THE KIDS STAY EXTRA TIME AT THE CAMP, INSTEAD OF BEING SENT BACK HOME TO THE CHAOS IN THE STREETS. QUITE A FEW OF THE PLAYERS WERE AFRICAN-AMERICAN, AND IT SEEMED TO ME, EVEN AT THE TIME, EXTRAORDINARY, THAT THE KIDS WERE SHOWN THAT KIND OF COMPASSION, DURING THIS TIME OF CRISIS. THESE RIOTS OCCURRED IN JULY 1967. EVEN THOUGH I WAS PROFOUNDLY IMPRESSED BY ROGER, AS AN ALL-STAR GOALIE, I WAS POSITIVELY IMPACTED BY THE WAY HE TREATED ALL OF US YOUNGSTERS, REGARDLESS WHERE WE WERE FROM, OR OUR CIRCUMSTANCES; EVERY ONE OF US WAS TREATED LIKE A VIP. THIS WAS EXACTLY HOW THE CROZIER FOUNDATION WOULD TREAT MUSKOKA YOUNGSTERS, IN THE LATER 1990'S, AND EARLY YEARS OF 2000, WHEN WE OPERATED THE ANNUAL SUMMER SKATE CAMP, IN JULY, AT THE BRACEBRIDGE ARENA. IT WAS A SORT OF COMMEMORATION OF THOSE POPULAR RED WING HOCKEY SCHOOLS, OF THE 1960'S, AND ALL OUR FAMILY WAS INVOLVED FOR A DECADE, FOLLOWING ROGER'S DEATH, IN JANUARY 1996.

     WHEN I DID CLIMB ABOARD THAT JET, AT THE MUSKOKA AIRPORT, WITH ROGER'S MOTHER, MILDRED, AND HIS LONG TIME FRIEND AND LAWYER, JACK HUCKLE, IT WAS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MIND OVER MATTER. I WEIGHED THAT THE SENSE OF LOSS, I WOULD EXPERIENCE, WOULD BE GREATER, THAN THE SHORT-TERM FEAR I WOULD HAVE, AS A PASSENGER FROM BRACEBRIDGE TO WILMINGTON. IF SUZANNE HADN'T BEEN TOUGH ON ME, THAT DAY, I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO TURN DOWN THE INVITATION. WHAT A MISTAKE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN, AND NOT JUST FOR ME. AS OUR FAMILY GREATLY BENEFITTED FROM ROGER'S GENEROSITY, AND THEN THE CROZIER FOUNDATION'S SUPPORT FOR THE NEXT TWELVE YEARS, THE LOSS WOULD HAVE BEEN PROFOUND, AND LIFE-ALTERING. I HAD OPPORTUNITIES AFFORDED ME, OUR REGION COULDN'T OFFER, PLUS A CHANCE TO PARTICIPATE IN A PROGRAM TO HELP KIDS ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS, BY REMOVING FINANCIAL BARRIERS. I CAN REMEMBER THE THRILL OF PRESENTING CHEQUES TO THE FAMILIES OF YOUNGSTERS, FACING EXPENSIVE MEDICAL TREATMENTS, AND ASSOCIATED EQUIPMENT-NEEDS OBLIGATIONS. IT WAS ALWAYS A GOOD FEELING, TO HAND OVER LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY, EACH YEAR, TO MUSKOKA CHILDREN'S SERVICES, TO HELP FUND REGISTRATION FOR FIGURE SKATING, SOCCER, BASEBALL AND HOCKEY, FOR KIDS, WHO WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO JOIN OTHERWISE. IT AGAIN TOOK ME BACK TO MY OWN OPPORTUNITY TO ATTEND HOCKEY CAMP, COURTESY ROGER AND RON INGRAM. THE "FREE" PART WAS WHAT ALLOWED ME TO GO. SO I HAD INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE, OF WHAT IMPACT, SUCH AN ACT OF KINDNESS WOULD GENERATE, WITH THESE YOUNGSTERS.

     WHEN WE RAN THE CROZIER FOUNDATION SKATE CAMP (WHICH INCLUDED A HOCKY COMPONENT), OUR FAMILY (AS I'VE NOTED IN PREVIOUS BLOGS) RAN THE SNACKBAR DURING THE FIVE DAY PROGRAM. WE SERVED A DIFFERENT MENU EVERY DAY, AND WE WERE SHOCKED BY THE EXPENSE THE FOUNDATION WAS WILLING TO GO TO, IN ORDER TO GIVE THE CAMPERS A GREAT WEEK OF SKATING, RECREATION, AND CRAFT-MAKING. WHEN WE SAW THOSE LITTLE FACES IN FRONT, TRYING TO LOOK OVER THE SNACKBAR COUNTER, SOME WHO WE KNEW FROM PREVIOUS YEARS, WE FELT GREAT ABOUT BEING A PART OF THIS BENEVOLENT PROJECT, ORGANIZED BY ROGER BEFORE HIS PASSING. ROGER NEVER GOT TO SEE THESE MODERN VERSIONS OF THE FORMER RED WING HOCKEY SCHOOL BACK IN OPERATION.

     AT THE TIME OF ITS OPERATION (THE FOUNDATION WAS CLOSED IN CANADA SOME YEARS AGO), WE WEREN'T PERMITTED TO DISCUSS WHAT WE DID AT THE CAMP. OBVIOUSLY, WE COULDN'T REVEAL THE NAMES OF CAMPERS, AND WE WERE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS DURING THE WEEK, WHICH WAS FOR IN-HOUSE USE. BUT THERE WAS SUCH A NICE FEELING WE ALL HAD, DURING THOSE LONG DAYS OF TENDING FOOD SERVICES, AND WITHOUT QUESTION, IT HAS INFLUENCED US TO THIS DAY. MOST PATRONS DON'T KNOW OUR BACKGROUND IN THIS REGARD. BUT LET ME TELL YOU, WHEN YOU VOLUNTEERED TO WORK FOR THE CROZIER FOUNDATION, EVERYTHING WAS EXPECTED TO BE AS PERFECT AS IT COULD POSSIBLY BE; NOT EXCEPTIONS AND NO EXCUSES. AND WE TOOK PRIDE IN THIS REALITY OF OPERATION, FROM THE SMALLEST DETAIL TO THE MOST PRONOUNCED. WHAT ROGER HAD DONE DURING HIS YEARS AT MBNA, INSTILLING A POSITIVE, STALWART, NEVER-SAY-NEVER WORK ETHIC, NO MATTER WHAT THE PROJECT, WAS BEING CARRIED ON, FOLLOWING HIS DEATH, BY SOME OF HIS FORMER COLLEAGUES; AND HIS MUSKOKA FRIENDS, WHO STAFFED THE SUMMER CAMP (ON THEIR PERSONAL VACATION TIME), WITH ONE RESOLVE. MAKE THIS A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE FOR THE KIDS.