THEY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY, AND I KNEW I WAS HALF WAY THERE - TEMPORAL MANDIBULAR JOINT DISORDER (DYSFUNCTION)
AN ODYSSEY I COULDN'T HAVE UNDERTAKEN ALONE - I KNOW IT NOW
I HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES WITH TEMPORAL MANDIBULAR JOINT DISORDER (DYSFUNCTION), (TMJ) SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS, USUALLY AT ITS PEAK OF AGONY, IN THAT WEEK, THAT MONTH, THAT YEAR. WHEN IT IS BEATING ME DOWN, I SOMEHOW FEEL LIBERATED FROM ITS FETTERING BY WRITING OF MY EXPERIENCES WITH THE "WONKY JAW SYNDROME," THAT SO MANY LIVE WITH, BUT MISUNDERSTAND. AFTER HEARING ABOUT, AND KNOWING PEOPLE TODAY WHO SUFFER TERRIBLY FROM THIS PHYSICAL DAMAGE TO THE TINY CONDIALS OF THE JAW, CAUSED BY DAILY EATING, EXCESSIVE CHEWING, FACIAL INJURY AND STRESS, I FELT IT WAS TIME TO UNFOLD THE BIOGRAPHY I SELDOM OFFER FOR PUBLIC SCRUTINY. BUT BECAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE READING THIS, OR WHO MIGHT READ IT ON REFERRAL, WHO ARE SUFFERING FROM MALADIES THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND, AND FEELING AS IF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY, FRIENDS AND FAMILY, SENSE IT'S "ALL IN THEIR HEAD," THIS LITTLE PERSONAL HISTORY OF LIVING WITH TMJ MIGHT HELP A PERCENTAGE OF THESE CONFUSED AND INJURED FOLKS.
FIRST OF ALL, AND THIS MUST BE UNDERSTOOD BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER. I AM NOT MEDICALLY TRAINED. I AM NOT AN EXPERT IN RESEARCH INTO THE DYSFUNCTIONS OF BODY PARTS, AND I MAKE NO CLAIM TO BE ABLE TO OFFER A CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU. ALL I CAN RELATE, IS WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED SINCE MY EARLY TWENTIES, AND HAVE LEARNED TO MANAGE DAILY UP TO AND PAST MY FIFTY-SEVENTH BIRTHDAY. PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY REVELATIONS AS GOSPEL, OR AS A MEDICAL FACT. IF IT GIVES YOU REASON TO QUEST FURTHER, BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU MIGHT HAVE A JAW DYSFUNCTION, THEN THIS IS A POSITIVE STEP…….BECAUSE MANY FOLKS ARE JUST LEFT WITHOUT HOPE, POPPING PILLS THAT THEY THINK WILL HELP. YOU CAN'T REPAIR THE CONDIALS BY MEDICATION. AT THE EXTREME EDGE, IN MY MIND, IS SURGERY TO MAKE A CORRECTION TO THE JOINT. SOME MAY CHOOSE THIS ROUTE, BUT I HAVE OPTED AGAINST, PREFERRING TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS THAT MAKES IT WORSE. IT'S THE TRUE TO LIFE "SERENITY NOW!"
FROM A BASIC KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT MAKES TMJ A LIFE-CHANGER
The TMJ dysfunction mimics a lot of other conditions and ailments, including the sensation of, "I'm going crazy and I don't know why." As I have studied this condition extensively, and spent a lot of time in doctors offices in the early going, it was a Bracebridge dentist, and then a local chiropractor, who both saved my sanity by helpful degrees. After several years of suffering a wide array of mood swings and a lengthy period of depression, on the suggestion of my mother, I went to visit the family dentist. All because of a newspaper clipping tacked to the notice board in his office. It was a medical feature article about TMJ, those who suffer from it, and the reasons it often goes undiagnosed. It caught my attention, because if memory serves, there was at least one Hollywood actor, who had even sought psychiatric treatment for what turned out to be this same wonky condial. He had been hit many times in the face, as a young actor, and serious but previously undetected damage had occurred, and worsened over time. The symptoms were wide ranging, but the point of the article, was to explain that the significant cluster of nerves and blood vessels in this important area of the jaw, at the condial, can when damaged and irritated, cause collateral impact to the sensory region. It can cause everything from headaches to jaw aches, the inability to open the mouth, and certain other perception problems that only the medical community can explain. I'm a sufferer, not a doctor. But you know, just reading that information, explained so much of what I had been experiencing for years, without knowing a jaw problem could cause such diverse reactions. I had been tested to see if I had a brain tumor, it was so bad. I thought because I was in a high stress editor's job, it was more in my head, than I wanted to admit. I thought it was likely, early in my writing career, that I would have to quit the job I loved. When I wrote several days ago about my intensity at the typewriter, and the job, well……it contributed in part to this dance with TMJ. The article led me to research the condition, which is caused in part, by damaged condials, that don't rotate smoothly when the jaw is opened and shut. The uneven movement causes unspecified damage to the nerves and tissue in proximity, and there's not much chance for it to heal……..especially if you don't know you have the condition. Even talking for me, made it much worse, and the days of eating toffee were over. As a kid I must have eaten a million black balls. Crunched them! Jaw breakers. I blew a lot of allowance money hurting myself. My mother was worried about my teeth not my jaw.
As I explained the other day, if you place a finger in each ear (not from one hand of course….cause that would hurt), so that you are snuggly in place, and when you move your jaw up and down (several times), and feel a less than smooth movement, as if there is a damaged portion, there is reason to investigate further. Let's just say that instead of a round condial, which should make for a smooth movement, yours had what could be described as a flat side. While the jaw still moves, it is rough movement, even making a clicking sound to your ears. If your ears are sore, remove your fingers. Actually, there are times when the TMJ dysfunction also affects the ears, and for me, it causes the production of much more wax build-up, which early on, I had to go to our doctor to get unplugged. As the injured and dysfunctional area is right at the base of the ear, having this creaking, thumping condial, can have consequences you wouldn't be aware of……except as part of the same weird feelings you've been having……undiagnosed. On a day I'm having a bad event, possibly because I slept on my side, or had a saddle-like piece of meat the night before, my perception is as wonky as my condial. Not dizzy. A little light-headed. You bet. Did I mention, that part of the collateral damage, has been a stiff neck since my early twenties. My boys got away with a lot of mischief off to my side, let me tell you. I've become a "whole turning kind of guy," ever since……so to greet you coming from behind, I have to do a body twist instead. Suzanne, my wife, has the same affliction, so I know what I can get away with at her side, before she can swing around fast enough to bust me.
It's not a funny affliction folks, but it pays to have a sense of humor about it, none the less. I'd rather laugh than cry, but at times, I've done both minutes a part. The problem for me, in the mid 1980's, was that very few doctors had dealt with cases like mine, and if it hadn't been for the dentist and chiropractor, the madness would have continued for many more years. I was x-rayed for sinus problems, a nose issue (broken many times as a goalie), eye problems and early on, they seemed concerned I had a tumor. Then, for something completely different, I had about eight teeth removed, because that was seen as a contributing problem. I was taking sinus medication, I got new glasses, and had some gaping holes where teeth used to sit. Nothing seemed to change my physical maladies. Add to this the joy of panic attacks at the most ridiculous moments. I remember a bad one, while I was holding Andrew, outside a Bracebridge bank, while Suzanne made a withdrawal. I was consumed by this invasive heart pounding, disorienting state of the union, and all I could do was hang onto the wee lad, for as long as the ride lasted. In a year of outrageous turmoil, I must have had two hundred panic attacks, that left me exhausted and frightened. One day, while I was walking with Andrew up Quebec Street, to the old Herald-Gazette office on Dominion Street, I had another substantial attack……and it came at a time when I was pissed-off enough, that I stood my ground, became courageous, protected my son with a bear hug, and made a declaration. "Give me your best shot you bastard." My affliction didn't like my attitude. From that moment on, I started taking action about what would soon be diagnosed as TMJ. It was the TMJ tunnel experience that sparked these panic attacks. When my neck and jaw were badly stressed from working at a typewriter, hand writing (as I used to write at least half my editorial copy), or tending a child who literally ran before he walked, my vision seemed to be from down a long tunnel out onto the world. The Mr. Mom thing was a big stress load for a guy who had lived an irresponsible life to that point. I even gave up drinking. Cold turkey. I dreaded Suzanne going back to work the next morning, and it kept me up most of the night. Aggravation and worry makes the TMJ sufferer, touch the fiery bowel of hell, and if it's not a debilitating headache, it's confusion, out of place anger, and a feeling of depression……..that frankly, is more of a physical feeling than emotional. TMJ exhausted me, and by time Suzanne came home to relieve me of child-watching, I just sat expressionless staring at the television. Suzanne had every reason to think I was losing it entirely.
Seeing as our son was only a few months old, and my problems were worsening……and I had to be a Mr. Mom at the same time, while continuing my writing assignments, I was worried my parenthood was going to be very short-lived. When my mother arrived at our Ontario Street house one morning, with news about an article she had read at the dentist's office that morning, regarding the symptoms of TMJ, I remember racing up to the office to make my own notes. Finally, somewhat of an explanation, about why I was feeling so far in left field most of the time.
Now for me, I must footnote here, that as a kid I took a lot of blows to the face. From errant footballs, fastball pitches that curved into my face, fists from the school yard bully, which were switched from side to side to mitigate bruising, and a lot of hockey pucks bouncing off my plastic mask. Do you chew gum? Here's an idea. Stop. Through all my team sports, gum was the choice to transfer anxiety. I used to chew wads of gum in net, and playing baseball well into my teens, it was the safe version of the tobacco used by the pros. So it's not like I didn't deserve what happened to me in my early twenties. Now add on to that, the fact I worked in a fast paced, hugely demanding, understaffed newspaper office, and began my jaw clenching in earnest, back in those less than halcyon days. When the bosses were near, my neck was frozen stiff and the headaches were pounding.
After learning more about TMJ, my dentist fit me with new plastic teeth and a splint, to stop me grinding my teeth at night. Well, I'm pretty sure this is what I did at night, but the real clenching came during the day time, and there was no way I could function like that……and in fact, I clenched even more with the splint, and that was devastating. My teeth were leveled, and the splint adjusted, but it didn't matter a hoot. Then I went to a local chiropractor, and on to another in Orillia, who as a duo, made my life dreamy. This isn't an advertorial for the chiropractic profession, but by golly, those lads made me understand a simple reality. TMJ was a complicated disorder, that responded to relaxation, and aggravation. With my family physician, Dr. Lynch, we worked out a dandy treatment for my TMJ problem. It was based on the "Smarten up, and stop dwelling on it" scenario, that put me back in the driver's seat. I had a choice of mellowing out, changing my employment away from what annoyed me daily, and enjoying life by sucking up the discomfort, and making the best out of a physical actuality. There was no bid to use surgery as a solution. This was a mind and emotion control exercise, and like a pain medication, I had to employ my body's own resources, to make lasting improvements. It worked.
The condials never heal, with the program I have followed. Over the years, the wear becomes more substantial, and TMJ a little more invasive than it has been since my early twenties. I have some spin-off situations, attributed to muscle spasms in the neck, contributed to, by the whacky stuff going on in my condial zone. And when damp weather is coming, it gives somewhat the same discomfort as someone suffering from arthritis. But the real improvement, the medical community afforded me, came with the ultimatum, that suffering hinges on the ability to cope. So cope I did! I often wonder about other folks who quest for what ails them, and fear, like me, it is an emotional disorder more so than physical. They must get so disheartened to be told time and again that medical investigations have turned up nothing. I wonder as well, about those people who are being treated for depression, and anxiety, but have never been checked for the TMJ disorder, which doesn't take up too much examination time. When you get TMJ partnering with other ailments, it can seem a hopeless situation from which to recover.
The problem is, that TMJ can contribute to many symptoms and feelings, that at first glance, shouldn't play a part. Why would a jaw disorder, cause the sensation of depression, or trigger vision and hearing issues, or the momentary occasion of confusion and disorientation? Why does it lend itself to fueling panic attacks? All those questions unanswered, led my wife and I on a lengthy fact-finding adventure. Until that morning my mother gave me hope, I'd just about given up on.
I am only an expert in TMJ because I've lived with it for more than twenty-seven years. Suzanne has had it for about twenty years. She has benefitted, because I had the information in hand, that helped her cope with the few panic attacks she had in the early stages, until the dentist and doctor validated her connection to TMJ. It was no party to go to, that's for sure, but there was strength in numbers. I have talked to people with phobias, that have been proportional to TMJ injury……some who refused to leave the house, for fear of being stricken with a sudden panic attack. People who are diagnosed as mentally ill? I'd personally like to know, if TMJ is always ruled in or out of these medical investigations. Even in my own early years, TMJ was almost a trendy new thing to research, but it was considered more of a headache producer, than depression contributor.
I'd like to tell you a little bit more about the way I have dealt with TMJ over the decades. It hasn't been pretty, but I've survived. There were days, let me tell you, when I honestly contemplated drinking myself to death. If it hadn't been for Suzanne and wee Andrew, who I adored, I might have opted to slide drunkenly out of this mortal coil……..it was that bad.
Please join me again, for a bit more information on TMJ. There is lots of information published online, if you wish to investigate further. See you soon.
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