WHERE WOULD I HAVE BEEN ON A SUNNY LATE-WINTER AFTERNOON IN 1968?
SITTING ON THE STOOP OF THE CORNER STORE - WITH A BOX OF LUCKY ELEPHANT, AND A COLD BOTTLE OF COKE!
AS I'VE WRITTEN ABOUT BEFORE, VIA THIS BLOG, I WAS A VERY FORTUNATE KID BY GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION IN THE TOWN OF BRACEBRIDGE. WE LIVED ON THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE WEBER APARTMENTS, AT 129 ALICE STREET. ONE BLOCK OVER WERE THOSE MAGNIFICENT, ALLURING CORNER STORES ON TORONTO STREET. BAMFORD'S STORE WAS RUN BY FRED AND MARY BAMFORD. ON THE OPPOSITE CORNER
WAS LIL & CEC'S, WHICH WAS FORMERLY BLACK'S VARIETY. LATER IT BECAME FRASER'S VARIETY. THE HUNT'S HILL KIDS GOT THEIR CENT CANDY AND COLD BOTTLED POP FROM LIL & CEC'S, AND WE USUALLY GOT OUR ICE CREAM TREATS AND COMICS FROM BAMFORDS. OF COURSE BOTH STORES SOLD CRACKER JACKS AND LUCKY ELEPHANT, BUT WE'D SPLIT IT UP FROM WEEK TO WEEK. ACTUALLY LIL & CEC'S IS STILL OPERATING AS A CORNER STORE. ON A NICE WARM LATE-WINTER DAY LIKE THIS, WE'D MOST CERTAINLY HAVE WOUND UP ON THE STEPS, OF ONE STORE, OR ANOTHER, HAVING A COLD…..REAL COLD BOTTLE OF POP…….COCA COLA WAS MY ALIXIR, WHILE MOST OF MY MATES PREFERRED MOUNTAIN DEW. BOTH STORES HAD THE LOW COOLERS WITH THE ICE-WATER AND METAL TRACKS, THAT YOU HAD TO NAVIGATE, WITH YOUR HANDS IMMERSED IN THE COLD WATER. I LOVED THIS WHEN IT WAS A HUNDRED DEGREES OUTSIDE. THEY USED TO HAVE TO TELL ME IT WAS TIME TO GET OUT OF THE POP WATER.
BY TIME WE'D HIT THE CORNER STORE FOR REFRESHMENTS, YOU CAN BET THE LADS HAD ENJOYED MANY LOCAL ADVENTURES. SURE AS HELL WE'D HAVE TAKEN THE TRAIN STATION LUGGAGE CART FOR A RIDE ON THE RAMP…..SPENT A LITTLE QUALITY TIME SITTING IN THE LOBBY OF THE STATION, WAITING FOR OUR TRAIN TO COME IN, HAVE THROWN SOME PENNIES ON THE TRACK TO FLATTEN THEM (YES I KNOW THIS IS WRONG), AND MOST LIKELY WE HAD VISITED BILL ELLIOT'S FIVE AND DIME STORE, AND POSSIBLY STOPPED IN TO SEE IF LORNE SHIER, AT BB AUTO HAD ANY BICYCLE TIRE TUBES TO FIT OUR RIMS. MAYBE WE HAD STOPPED AT BASS ROCK TO THROW STONES AT THE LONG-ROBED BROTHERS OF THE SOCIETY OF SAINT JOHN THE EVANGELIST, WHO USED TO COME DOWN TO THE MUSKOKA RIVER, ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE, AND READ IN THE SUN. SO WE THREW ROCKS AT THEM. I WASN'T A NICE KID. WE NEVER ACTUALLY HIT ONE, BUT WE USED TO LIKE KEEPING THEM ON THE RUN. I THINK THEY THOUGHT THERE WERE SNIPERS HIDING IN THE BUSHES. IT IS KNOWN THAT THE FACILITY WAS HOME TO DRAFT DODGERS FROM THE UNITED STATES AND SUNDRY OTHER HIPPY TRAVELLERS. THIS IS WHAT OUR PARENTS WERE TALKING ABOUT, WHEN THEY PLAYED EUCHRE IN OUR KITCHEN ON SATURDAY NIGHTS. I NEVER REALLY KNEW WHAT THEY MEANT BY DRAFT DODGERS…..I THOUGHT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH WINDOWS FITTING POORLY.
Actually, what I wanted to write about today, is the increasing prevalence of novelty-ware out on the antique hunt these days. I don't think I have ever seen this much 1960 era souvenir, oddball, novelty stuff appearing in such large quantities, in local second hand and thrift shops. Bamfords was the place to buy these items back in the 1960's and 70's. Not so much at Lil & Cec's, because it was more milk, food, pop, treats, and cigarettes, than actual merchandise. They had some but not in the same quantity that Mary and Fred jammed into the small store, where every inch of wall and ceiling space was loaded with merchandise. Even Charles Dickens would have gasped, his chin hitting his chest, to see the circus inside that tiny, multi room corner store…..run by two eccentric folks who liked clutter. I wish I'd had the good sense to get a picture of the place, because it was a landmark for neighborhood shopping. It was a time warp environs from the 1930's to 70's, and I think some of the canned food items were that old as well. They could have been sold over the counter to advertising nostalgia collectors. I don't believe there were "best before" dates on these cans. I think the labels were actually done by the Group of Seven artists, who, by the way, made their living before selling landscape paintings, working for graphic arts companies in Toronto.
As the small acreage, which wasn't more than a block wide and deep, had 1930's vintage guest cottages, that they rented by the week and month. It was the craziest situation for me, a transplanted city kid, looking out onto this strange rural - urban mix of land-use. We were living a town life, in an urban neighborhood, without any waterway abutting, or sandy beach, and here was this campground set-up, tourists having bonfires late into summer evenings. We'd horn our way in with a bag of marshmallows to toast. Even in the 1960's, it seemed so out of place. But we made more friends, of the kids that came to stay at what was called Woodley Park. So the Bamfords stocked their corner store for the summer guests as well as the neighborhood's small grocery needs. But you could buy a ball glove or a cheerleader's baton, souvenir back-scratchers, fireworks, shovels and pails for the toddlers, and lots and lots of bagged charcoal. But what I always found so amazing, was the selection of novelty mugs, plaques, decals, pennants, risque novelty items for the outhouse, every kind of crass, rude, hunt-camp joke glass, ash-trays, bottle openers, coffee mugs with breasts, plastic boys who peed when you gave them the right encouragement, you name it…..and we loved this stuff.
Every time we entered that wonderful museum of weird souvenir inventory, we hand to fondle it all. Mary used to watch us very closely, but she knew we wouldn't steal anything. All our parents shopped there. My mother Merle actually worked there for a time. I guess the folks who stayed in those old cabins, must have really liked these novelty items, because I don't think many from our neighborhood, would have found these curiosities house-worthy decorator objects. I think I bought my dad a mug with a hole in the side, that was supposed to be a joke, except when drinking hot coffee.
I just picked up a vintage sales catalogue that took me back to those days, standing in Bamfords with our mouths hanging open, as Fred hung more novelty items from hooks in the ceiling. Just having a quick glance through the catalogue, I couldn't believe how many of these items I've seen recently, on the shelves of local thrift, and second hand shops, between Bracebridge and Orillia. I'm not sure why it's all appearing now, but it is…..and I'm just not sure if this is going to qualify as nostalgia for those who are period collectors. The small format, staple bound booklet, is from Roy Sales, of Box 55, Winnipeg, Manitoba, and from the looks of the merchandise within, it must be from the mid 1960's, to the mid 1970's. The mail order company offered big deals on magic-tricks, toys, disguises, cards, party favors, books, jewelry, puzzles, drug sundries, novelties and articles described as "fun." The first part of the catalogue is devoted to enhancing the pleasure of adults, with a substantial selection of prophylactics, right beside the big deals on Old Fashioned Beer Steins, and the ever popular Whistling Beer Mug. The first nine pages are devoted to adult pleasures, with ample diversification depending on your acrobatic requirements. Some were triple strength, and may or may not have glowed in the dark. Then it was the "Ladies and Gents' Ring values section……because after the fun of the first nine pages, and the beer you had in those steins, you really should shop for high quality rings at incredible discount prices. Swiss made watches for $6.50. How about a camera by Imperial, or a Bronze Horse and Rider, Men's Pin-up Billfold, poker chips, nudie playing cards, exquisite hand-carved bark pictures (I've got one of those). How about a comic Bartender Whisky Set? Or a Comic Ash Tray of a dog urinating on a fire hydrant? How about a fifty cent socket wrench, or novelty liquor cups? Certainly you wouldn't want to miss out on the Comic Ash Trays, like the Smoky Poky….that allows you to put a lit cigarette in the woman's mouth and smoke will come out here eye. Nice. Well, not really. I saw so much of this gag nostalgia in the comfortable but crazy quarters of Bamford's Store. Now I realized just how much I adored that place on the corner of my childhood. That place has influenced me in so many ways…..because nostalgia is still one of my big collecting interests. I'm just not sure what the market value of leftover itching powder and sneezing powder…..or novelty elephant pins? I guess I need to do some homework.
As for the real novelty items, like Rat Perfume Box (rat leaps out when top removed), Can-Can Girl decals, Pop-Out Snake Tulip, Realistic Cat-Cry container, rubber eggs (can't get enough of them), Naughty Chewing Gum that turns your teeth black…..does anyone collect these? How about the toilet bowl pipe for the smoker, made of wood too? Or the whoopee cushion? Harem girl key-chain, where the scantily clad woman is caged in a plastic rocket, where she performs when the item is moved? You can order the Lord's Prayer Telescope, Tom Thumb Miniature Playing Cards, Invisible Ink, compass ring, novelty shooting ball pen, and a pop-up tie. Come on, you gotta have "toilet water perfume" in in a replica toilet container. Here's a gem worth some money. A Coca Cola Lighter for seventy-five cents. If that doesn't turn your crank, how about a Jivaro Shrunken Head - authentic and life-like? If you're into the more dramatic nostalgia, you could have ordered "Wee Wee Willie," which was apparently a "deluge of laughter? A flood of fun. The cutest guy - fill with water. See him in action. Pee a river." A Break-A-Part Glass? Half-a-cup for your coffee? Or for your neighbor….an "auto prankster exhaust whistle," which produced a high pitch whistle to cause the driver to keep stopping to find out what's wrong.
This is a great little book, and perfect for accompanying me out on the antique hustings…..because I've got to find some of this gag stuff, as I'm the worse kind of practical joker. We'll re-visit this topic tomorrow, so I can share more pages of this fabulous catalogue.
Thanks for joining me. More fun and laughs to come!
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