Novelty and Gag Gifts for the Love of Nostalgia

NOVELTY AND GAG ITEMS FOR HOME, PARTY AND HUNT CAMP

FOR THE LOVE OF NOSTALGIA - ROY SALES OF WINNIPEG

YESTERDAY I SHARED SOME PAGES OUT OF THE NEAT 1960'S ORDER CATALOGUE FROM ROY SALES, OF WINNIPEG, MANITOBA. THE SMALL, STAPLE-BOUND BOOKLET, OFFERS A GRAND PLETHORA OF TOYS, MAGIC TRICKS, DISGUISES, PLAYING CARDS, NOVELTIES, PUZZLES, JEWELRY, PARTY FAVORS, AND WHAT THEY REFER TO AS "DRUG SUNDRIES." I HAVE CATALOG NO. 27. IT'S A WELL PRESERVED BOOKLET, AND FOR THE COLLECTOR OF NOVELTIES ETC., IT IS A PRECIOUS COMPANION TO CONTEMPORARY PRICE GUIDES. I COULD PROBABLY FIND TWENTY OR SO PIECES, FROM THIS VINTAGE, AND THIS TYPE OF CATALOGUE, ON THE SHELVES OF LOCAL SECOND HAND AND THRIFT SHOPS……WITHOUT LOOKING HARD. SO A LOT OF THIS MERCHANDISE WAS SOLD, AND I'M NOT SURE WHY SO MUCH OF IT IS SURFACING RECENTLY, BUT FOR SOMEONE COLLECTING NOVELTY AND GAG ITEMS, THIS WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GO SHOPPING…..AT LEAST IN OUR REGION OF ONTARIO. NOT EVERYTHING IN THE BOOKLET IS RISQUE UNLESS YOU COUNT A BEER STEIN, A SWISS MADE WRISTWATCH OR A CAMERA, AS CROSSING THE BOUNDARY OF DECENCY. THERE ARE A LOT OF POLITICALLY INCORRECT OBJECTS AND ORNAMENTS, THAT'S FOR SURE.

As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, I grew up in a neighborhood, with two really neat cornerstones….that while markedly different from one another, did have some of the same inventory, and much of it I can find in this same catalogue. So I pretty much saw it every day in those years from 1966 to 1974, when I lived on Bracebridge's Alice Street, a short walk to either Bamford's Store or Lil & Cec's. Corner stores were my cornerstone, as a kid, and I dare say as a modern day collector…..they were my inadvertent source of inspiration.

My first trading cards came from Lil & Cec's. Hockey, baseball, television novelty cards like The Munsters, and Coke bottle caps with photographs of National Hockey League players printed on the tops. My favorite of course was one of "Roger Crozier," of the Detroit Red Wings, because he was a hometown boy. This was the period, of course, of the original six hockey clubs. I think Lil & Cec's was also the place I bought my cent candy, the sherbet powder and licorice straws that almost killed me, (when I'd inhale the powder) the potato chips, Hostess, I think, that had plastic war planes inside. And of course Cracker Jacks and Lucky Elephant, and a cold Coke. I was a candy junky by time I was thirteen. Geez, a trip to the dentist was like the movie "The Deer Hunter," for the fear and loathing it inspired in me……and the dentist. We both yelped at the same time. Even Merle from the waiting room. "You have how many cavities Teddy Currie? Whenever Merle was ticked-off with me, I went from being Ted, to "Teddy." Do you know how many black balls a kid could buy for a quarter. An insane number. I crunched those wickedly hard candies at the expense of my teeth. I went to the dentist on one occasion, and had 17 cavities. Poor Merle was trying to save face. "He won't stop eating those black balls and that toffee stuff," she'd say, as the dentist was already thinking about the new car he was going to buy with what my sweet tooth was going cost ultimately.

Bamford's was more of an intellectual pursuit. You really had to study the place, because it wasn't anything like you supposed, on the way through the front door. You'd hear the bell ringing, as vibrated by the door's movement, and on the first step inside, it was like you'd entered the Twilight Zone. You bounced on the floor, as I suspect the floor joist were straining under the weight, and once the door closed, you were in a sort of cupboard with stuff hanging over your head, from souvenir tomahawks, fake birch bark drums with feathers, "Muskoka" imprinted back scratchers, baseball gloves, puppets, and anything else Fred Bamford could hang from hooks in the ceiling…..as all the shelving was already packed with merchandise. I don't think they ever had to have the heat on, in that building, because of the hot air coming of the big coolers being operated in the two rooms of the main store. There were nooks and crannies all over the place, jammed with tin goods and packages of coffee and tea. There were narrow passages and large storage areas behind the alcove, where the store clerk sat. Fred or Mary, or Cora White or my mother Merle, sat inside this alcove (wicket), with the cigarettes and related tobacco products. If you wanted a tin of beans, you had to ask, and they would slip into the store-room and bring it back to the counter. I know there were a lot of unsavory folks who asked for something in the store room, so they could have few moments to steal cigarettes. I didn't smoke. If they were away from the wicket, I won't lie. I may have checked out the male-only magazines, like "Fling" or something like that, they used to keep in the top section of the magazine rack, right inside the door. A lot of folks took their magazines, for free, when they opened the door, and blocked the Bamford's view of the stand. The Bamfords were nice folks and they gave my mother a job when my dad was out of work. They were quite charitable, without making a fuss. At Christmas they treated their staff pretty well. So I would never have shop-lifted anything. But I do feel somewhat embarrassed that I would have snuck a peak at those forbidden magazines. It was a pretty big temptation……seeing as they were one up from the comics and Mad Magazines. Maybe I'd just been mistaken, and my hand-eye co-ordination was off by a tad. Yea, that explains it!

Getting back to this little catalogue. I wanted to republish a few more pages from "Roy Sales," that I found interesting. In Muskoka, and Bracebridge specifically, the onset of tourism season, on the Victoria Day weekend in May, brought this stuff out onto the shelves of many variety stores, not just Bamfords. Bamfords did tend to be a little more risque about it, than say, the local five and dime store, but from what I see in this catalogue, much that wound up in average shops, especially in tourism season, was of a similar style and purpose. I don't know why exactly. Possibly then, the types of cottagers, and the day-travellers, felt this novelty merchandise was a big deal. Bamfords used to sell hundreds of the fake wood wall plaques with sayings and graphics on them, in bright colors…..ranging from outhouse depictions, to the image of, yes indeed, "the horse's ass." I guess you could call it household / cottage decorations, but most of it was suited for the male-dominated hunt camps and lodges where a cup with breasts might fit in better. Obviously these items turned a profit, because what we're seeing on the rebound today, on the shelves of second hand shops, had obviously been purchased by someone back then……before estate executors had to find it all a good home (as donations). Yet there's still something nostalgic about the gag and novelty pieces, and I'm sure that somewhere out there, there are collectors who have a real passion for whoopee cushions, and leftover snowstorm tablets; which you put on the lit end of your cigarette to create ash that looked like snow.

Get this. You could even acquire "Prison Pennants," like Sing-Sing and Alcatraz, for twenty-five cents a pop. What about the ruckus you could stir up with a barking dog, that isn't really there. It's mounted on a rubber ball, that when squeezed, emitted the sound of a barking dog……but was small enough to conceal……thus the joke about "what dog?" What a riot eh? So how about a household ornament of a child on a ceramic potty or bed pan, as a decorator statement. The "brown" child on the bed pan, reads "For old butts and Ashes." Here's the washroom novelty the guests will love. It's called 'Wet Seat," and is a soft water bladder that fits just under the seat. When you sit down, the water hits the behind with considerable force. "Just picture the expression on the victim's face when he/she sits down?" These are different times! I'm thinking it might inspire a lawsuit today. Then there are the packages of novelty cigarettes, that you can jam into any orifice on any other interesting ceramic in the house, and it will give the impression, eg., that the bust of Mozart or Bach, for example, is smoking. The rubber wiener? Who couldn't find a novelty use for this? Switch the real hot dog for the rubber one, and watch your kid go nuts trying to eat it. Of course, we don't know how many rubber wieners were consumed in the heyday of this product. Once again, a lawsuit comes to mind. I get a kick out of reading about the itching and sneezing powder you could buy, and blow at one of your friends or enemies. Geez, I wished I'd known about the itching powder gag. At university we had to grind down some fiberglass insulation, to get a quantity of nearly invisible powder. It's true. I did put it on the black toilet seat in the residence washroom. It's also true that the gent who used it that Friday afternoon, was scratching his arse all the way home on the bus to Huntsville from Toronto…..and right through the weekend. "What did you put on that toilet seat Currie, you bastard," was the short version of the questioning I got the very next Monday morning. "I've got to go to the doctor, so I need to be able to tell him what it was." I responded that, "well, he'll need patience, a good magnifying device and tweezers." I'd have been all over this catalogue, I'll tell you that, because I was a huge practical joker back in university days. I've calmed somewhat since. But I'm always thinking.

If I could, I'd like to put an order in today for a "Wart Nose and Fun Beak," being offered by Roy Sales, for only seventy-five cents. Maybe I'd add a "Crazy Thumb," which was a "super giant rubber thumb over five inches long…..for hitchhiking I guess. I should also pick up a have dozen "New Corkers," "for the hole in your head," that Suzanne thinks I have. The cork comes with hair on top, so that you can fill the hole with the cork, and the hair just combs into place. I like it. I would ask her to buy me the "Old Guzzler Tonic," which apparently is "good for what ales (not ails) you. An attractive box, contains a miniature beer bottle with a baby nipple attached…..a short beer in a goofy box," for only sixty cents. I'd really want a genuine Jimmy Durante nose…..remember….."That's no banana….that's ,my nose." I could also have ordered giant slip-on hillbilly feet, monster rubber hands, horror rubber feet, comical fake ears and horrible teeth. If I'd have known about this catalogue as a kid, I would have spent all my money ordering stuff……and probably have spent a lot less on black balls, pop and chips. I thought the novelty items on the backs of comic books were a big deal. Those x-ray glasses didn't work. Geez, that was pretty disappointing, you know. The only fun I had was making the girls think I saw something with these wild looking glasses, and that got them covering up. Never run from a guy with x-ray glasses. It just makes it so much more fun. "I saw it, I saw it!" And, as usual, those teachers always ruined things. Figures after all the trouble I got into with teachers, for all those years, that I'd actually marry one. Now I'm in trouble all the time. I won't be leaving an apple on her desk, that's for sure.

I've thrown in a few more images of this wonderful, nostalgic catalogue…….and whether in bad taste or not……our moms and pops bought this stuff…..and now it's showing up all over the place. Believe it, or not!

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