Nothing Better For A Cold Than A Visit With Hoss, Ben, Little Joe and Adam

TWO THINGS THIS ANTIQUE DEALER LIKES WHEN HOME WITH A COLD

I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS FOREVER - OR AS SUZANNE SAYS, "A NEEDY LITTLE MAN"

     I HAVEN'T COUGHED OR SNEEZED IN THE PAST THREE MINUTES. THIS COULD BE A NICE DIVERSION AWAY FROM THE WEE TICKLE IN THE CHEST, I CAN'T SEEM TO GET OUT OF MY MIND……NO MATTER HOW MUCH TEA I CONSUME, OR CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP THAT NOURISHES THE SICK BODY. I KNOW FROM MY DAYS AS MR. MOM, THAT THE BODY FACING THIS KIND OF INVADER, WANTS TO COUGH IT ALL OUT….SO WE NEVER GAVE THE BOYS SUPPRESSANTS. WE TRIED TO AVOID THESE SYRUPS ALTOGETHER, UNLESS IT WAS PRESCRIBED BY THE DOCTOR. THIS WAS RARE. SO LIKE WE'VE DONE EVER SINCE, WE TREAT OURSELVES, WHEN ILL, WITH PLENTY OF MOVIE VIDEOS, DVDS AND TELEVISION, AS WELL AS PLENTY OF FOOD AND BEVERAGE. UNLESS THE GARDEN VARIETY COLD BECOMES MORE LIKE INFLUENZA…..WHICH YESTERDAY, I WAS WONDERING ABOUT. LAST YEAR WAS THE FIRST TIME IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS, OUR FAMILY MISSED GETTING OUR FLU SHOTS, AND THAT WAS THE RESULT OF MANY FEWER PUBLIC CLINICS, AS THEY USED TO HAVE, AND TIME RESTRAINTS WORKING SIX DAYS A WEEK. WE EVEN WORK ON SUNDAYS, BUT WHEN WE'RE HUSTLING ANTIQUES, WE CONSIDER IT RECREATIONAL BUSINESS.

     SO FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS, I'VE REVERTED TO CHILDHOOD, RECALLING MY "RECOVERY PERIODS," IN THE EARLY 1960'S, WHEN I COULD STAY UP LATER, BECAUSE OF A CONTINUOUS COUGH, WHICH WAS ALSO A CONVENIENT ILLNESS ON SUNDAY NIGHTS, MY FAVORITE TIME FOR TELEVISION. MY MOTHER COULDN'T STAND RUNNING BACK AND FORTH TO MY BEDROOM, IF I WAS HACKING AND SNEEZING CONSTANTLY, SO SHE'D SET ME UP WITH A PILLOW AND BLANKET ON THE COUCH, AND I COULD WATCH THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW, AND BONANZA. WHILE I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THE ED SULLIVAN SHOWS IN OUR FAMILY COLLECTION, I'VE GOT "BONANZA," AND IT'S BEEN GREAT GETTING BACK WITH BEN, ADAM, HOSS, AND LITTLE JOE, AT THE PONDEROSA. MY PARENTS USED TO HAVE COFFEE WITH LORNE GREEN, WHEN HE WORKED AS A RADIO BROADCASTER, IN TORONTO, AND THAT MADE HIM A SPECIAL CANADIAN COWBOY. MY FAVORITE CHARACTER WAS "HOSS," AND I WAS DEVASTATED WHEN HE PASSED AWAY. I ARGUED WITH MY MOTHER THAT NOTHING COULD KILL A MAN OF HIS STATURE. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THOSE FOLKS HAD BEEN SHOT, BUT IN MY MIND, THEY WERE INVINCIBLE. I WAS ALSO A BIG FAN OF "CANDY," THE FARM HAND, WHO REPLACED "ADAM" LATER IN THE SHOW. (HE WENT ON TO BECOME A SOAP OPERA STAR AFTER BONANZA). AND I WAS ADDICTED, LATER IN LIFE TO "LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE," AND "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL," BECAUSE MICHAEL LANDON HELD ME CAPTIVE FROM HIS CHARACTERIZATION OF "LITTLE JOE." I USED TO HAVE A HOLSTER ON, AT LEAST TEN HOURS A DAY, WITH MY GUN SLANTED LOOSE, LIKE LITTLE JOE, AND I WAITED FOR THE NEIGHBOR KIDS TO MAKE A MOVE. I WAS FAST. ACCEPT WHEN I'D GET MY FINGER CAUGHT BETWEEN THE TRIGGER AND THE GUARD, AND HAD TO BEG SOMEONE TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

     I WAS AN URBAN COWBOY AS A KID. MY HEROES WERE THE CHARACTERS THAT I MET AS A PATRON OF THE LOCAL THEATRE, AND THE ONES WHO USED TO APPEAR IN THE BLACK AND WHITE FILM ON OUR OLD RCA TELEVISION THAT WAS MORE WOOD AND VENEER THAN SCREEN. COMPARED TO THE SCREENS ON TODAY'S TELEVISIONS, AND MONITORS, THESE EARLY TELEVISIONS WERE VERY SMALL. BUT NO MATTER HOW SMALL THE SCREEN, ALAN LADD, AS SHANE WAS TEN FEET TALL….WHICH IS KIND OF IRONIC CONSIDERING HE WAS A VERY SMALL MAN IN STATURE. WHEN HE FOUND HIMSELF IN A STAND-OFF WITH BAD GUY, JACK PALANCE, IN SHANE, I THOUGHT HE WAS A GONNER. BUT LIKE HOSS, LITTLE JOE, ADAM AND BEN, SHANE WAS FASTER, AND MORE ACCURATE WITH HIS SHOT. PALANCE WAS DOWN. THE GOOD GUY PREVAILED. THIS IS THE STUFF I GREW UP ON, AND INFLUENCED ME IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. FOR ONE, I KNEW THE JINGLES OF JUST ABOUT EVERY PRODUCT ON THE MARKET. I WAS LIKE AN EXPERIMENT FOR MARSHAL MCLUHAN'S "THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE." TO THIS DAY, I WILL ALL OF A SUDDEN START HUMMING THE MUSIC FOR "OLD VIENNA" BEER, WHICH WENT LIKE THIS….."V-I-E-N-N-A, THAT'S OLD VIENNA…..THE HAPPY, LAZY LAGER BEER." NOW KEEP IN MIND, I WAS A WEE LAD, WHO HAS NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD PICKING UP THE WORDS FOR ANY SONG, SO THIS MAY NEED SOME CORRECTION. THEN THERE WAS THE PEPSODENT JINGLE, "YOU'LL WONDER WHERE THE YELLOW WENT WHEN YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH PEPSODENT."

    "BUBBLY, BUBBLY ENO," IS ANOTHER THAT STUCK WITH ME THROUGH THICK AND THIN, LIKE, "A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA," COURTESY OF THE FINE FOLKS FROM BRYLCREAM. WAS IT NOT TAREYTON  CIGARETTES, THAT HAD A SLOGAN, "I'D RATHER FIGHT THAN SWITCH," SHOWING SOMEONE WITH A BLACK EYE? HELL I'M STILL SINGING THE "MEOW" SONG FROM ABOUT THE EIGHTIES, WASN'T IT? YOU REMEMBER THE CATCHY TUNE THAT WENT ON FOREVER, "MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, (END OF FIRST VERSE, SECOND, SAME AS THE FIRST). YOU GET THE IDEA. I WAS BROUGHT UP WITH THE TELEVISION AS MY FRIEND. BOTH MY PARENTS WORKED, AND ALTHOUGH ANNE NAGY WAS MY SECOND MOM, WHILE WE LIVED IN BURLINGTON, IN LATER YEARS, IT'S TRUE WHAT YOU HEARD…….I WAS A LATCH-KEY KID, AND I DID WEAR IT AROUND MY NECK SO I WOULDN'T LOSE IT. I'D STILL LOSE AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH.

SO I WAS WILLINGLY INFLUENCE BY TELEVISION AND MOVIES AT THE LOCAL THEATRE

     Today, I will watch any show that isn't "horrible" as rated by my life-long standard of viewing. We have only two channels with our digital conversion unit, but not CBC which I'd like to write the Prime Minister about, but I have a pretty good idea it would be disposed of, as "tough luck" for being cable-less. I do like "Big Bang Theory," and so should most nostalgia dealers, especially those who sell comics and science fiction nostalgia. This is a powerful show for all the nerds out there, who spend a lot of folding money, building their collections. I like it because of the uniqueness and the great character development. I used to like "Blossom" as well, so when the actor who played her, showed up to boost the already brilliant cast, I had to make this show a priority. I even break my blogs to watch it! It's the only one I will do that for…..seriously. Today I've surrendered to shows like, "Grimm," "Once Upon a Time," "Three and a Half Men," "Grey's Anatomy," "Undercover Boss," "The Amazing Race," and all the CSI shows, and many others too numerous to mention.

     Here's the thing. The reason I've opted for these shows, largely comes from the fact, that as one of the last hold-out of the analogue system, of receiving my broadcast signal, I lost my favorite programs due to technological change. When we went out and purchased the converter, and the proper antennae approved for the system, we really only got one strong signal, and that was from Hamilton's "CHCH." We can switch it back to analogue, and that's the way we pick up CTV's "CFTO." Ironically, for this television historian, I used to watch both stations when I was a kid, when we lived in Burlington. We used to get a lot of American stations free, and boy did I have a full agenda of entertainment, for the couch potato I aspired to be. Point is actually, that when the transition occurred, especially when the CBC had to cut its analogue signal due to financial cut backs from you know who, we lost our favorite show….."Coronation Street," and that really pissed me off. But we had to take what was available on our last two channels and make do! It's taken a while to adjust, but we've made the switch okay, in part, because we got a DVD player for Christmas, replacing the old video unit that finally ate more tapes than it played. So ever since, both boys have been buying some of the old shows, on DVD, that Suzanne and I grew up with, including Bonanza, and yes, I get choked up in every episode. I do recall those nights, sitting with my mom and dad, with a little treat plate for the ill amongst us, being a family on a budget. We're still a family on a budget, with a lot fewer channels. When we got hit by the recession of the late 1990's, and nearly lost our house in the real estate collapse, we cancelled cable. When our television quit, we did without until we saved enough money on other things to get one, second hand. It took a year. In the mean time, we had a nice stereo and lots of records, and a swell radio. It was our entertainment, and we thank "Mitch Miller," very much, for his dinner music over that lean, cost savings year……which truthfully lasted about a decade. I see it coming back for a return visit, so instead of getting cable, and having to cut it as a cost savings, we're just going to do without, network television, and watch these nostalgic shows on "DVD." And I don't have to learn about the latest product to keep my bowels regular, or my hair from going grey. 

     Back then it was shows like "Dobie Gillis," "The Real McCoys," "I Love Lucy," "The Dick VanDyke Show," "Father Knows Best," "The Danny Thomas Show," "Leave it to Beaver," "The Beverley Hillbillies," "Gilligan's Island," "My Favorite Martian," "My Three Sons," "Petticoat Junction," "Green Acres," "The Munsters," "Lost in Space" and if I got a chance, "Ben Casey," and "Dr. Kildare." In the evenings, I begged to watch "The Twilight Zone," "Alfred Hitchcock Presents," "The Saint," "The Fugitive," and yup, "Wide World of Disney." Do you know something. I haven't coughed or sneezed in a half hour, since I began writing this blog. Well sir, this is exactly what happened when I was in company of Lucille Ball, and "The Beav!" I would soak this stuff up like a sponge, and then beg my parents to buy me the products that were going to make my teeth whiter than white, my white shirts, whiter than white, and my bones strong with whiter than white milk.

     I've got a lot more stories about television influences that have risen with me, in the antique profession…..so I'm going to expose it all……how I really got my start in this traditional profession……that really has no bounds except what some of us place in the way of having too-much freedom of choice; freedom of fun seeking. I'll have more on television influences over the next week of blogs. Please join me.

Please visit my other blog at http://muskokaaswaldenpond.blogspot.ca