THE FANTASTIC SIDE OF ANTIQUE COLLECTING - YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT
ANTIQUE DEALERS WHO FAIL - NEVER FOUND IT - THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK
EVEN THE MOST EXPERIENCED ANTIQUE HUNTER, CAN MISS A BIG FIND, IN THE MIXED INVENTORY OF A COLOR-FILLED, HUGELY DIVERSE FLEA MARKET, OR FUNDRAISING SALE. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO I WAS AT A FLEA MARKET, IN GRAVENHURST, AND MISSED AN IMPORTANT CABINET UP FOR SALE, THAT HAD BEEN COVERED-OVER WITH AN ASSORTMENT OF DRIED FLOWERS AND CHIPPED ORNAMENTS. I FOUND A NUMBER OF INTERESTING PAINTINGS I WANTED, AS THE ASKING PRICES WERE FAIR. I MUST HAVE SPENT TWENTY MINUTES, CIRCLING AROUND THE CHEST OF DRAWERS, SEEING EVERYTHING ELSE, BUT NOT THE CARVED GRAPES ON THE CUPBOARD DOORS. WHEN I BENT OVER TO PICK SOMETHING I'D DROPPED OFF THE FLOOR, GEEZ, THERE IT WAS…..AN 1870'S QUEBEC MADE BUFFET, WITH TWO GROUPINGS OF HAND-CARVED GRAPES AS ADORNMENTS. I COULDN'T BELIEVE THE NUMBER OF ANTIQUE DEALERS AND COLLECTORS IN THE VICINITY, AND NO ONE, INCLUDING ME, HAD SEEN THIS IMPRESSIVE VICTORIAN FURNITURE, THROUGH THE FOG-OF-SALE-SCROUNGING. THERE WAS A SUGGESTED SALE PRICE, ATTACHED TO THE TOP, AND I ASKED SUZANNE, MY ACCOUNTANT, TO GO TEN DOLLARS HIGHER THAN THIS CEILING. I KNOW MANY DEALER-TYPES WHO WILL TRY TO LOW-BALL AT THESE SALES, WHICH, IN THIS CASE, WAS FOR A CHARITABLE CAUSE. WE ALWAYS, AND I MEAN ALWAYS, OFFER MORE MONEY THAN IS REQUESTED FOR OUR CHOICE OF PURCHASES, BECAUSE THEY ARE KINDLY FOLK WHO WORK HARD TO HELP OUR COMMUNITY. I KNOW WHAT THE PROFIT WILL BE, AS SOON AS I PICK SOMETHING OUT I WANT TO BUY. I HAVE LITTLE USE, PERSONALLY, FOR DEALERS WHO HAGGLE WITH CHARITABLE GROUPS, JUST TO MAKE A FEW EXTRA BUCKS. CIVILIANS? WELL, IT WOULD BE NICE IF THEY DIDN'T HAGGLE, BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT HELL BENT ON STAGGERING PROFIT-MAKING, WHEN THEY DO BARTER. BARTERING IS PART OF THE ANTIQUE TRADE AND PRETTY MUCH THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. IT'S JUST NOT OVERLY SENSITIVE OR PERSONALLY CREDIBLE, IN MY OPINION, TO BEAT DOWN A GROUP THAT IS TRYING VALIANTLY TO HELP IMPROVE LIFE IN OUR COMMUNITY. I LOVE THESE SALES, AND I DON'T MISS THEM, AS A RULE, UNLESS I'M FORCED TO BE IN TWO TOWNS AT THE SAME TIME. THIS WEEKEND, WE HAD A BALL THANKS TO THE KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS, AT ST. JOSEPH'S CATHOLIC CHURCH IN BRACEBRIDGE. WHAT GREAT FUN, AND WONDERFUL HOSTS. THANKS FOR ORGANIZING THIS ANNUAL SALE. IT'S A DANDY. GOT ALMOST A VAN-LOAD THIS YEAR.
I HAVE, AT BEST, SCOOTED AROUND THE ISSUE OF ANTIQUE HUNTING, AND WHAT COMPELS DEALERS TO STAY THE COURSE. I WOULD HAVE NO INTEREST IN ANTIQUES, OR EVEN ART, IF THERE WASN'T SOME MAGIC ATTACHED. I HAVE NEVER PLACED PROFIT AS THE END ALL. MANY TIMES, IT WAS ALSO, ACCORDING TO THE ACCOUNTANT, MY FAILING. I'D SHOW UP AT OUR FORMER SHOP, WITH SOME INCREDIBLY ODD ITEM, LIKE A PIECE OF ARCHITECTURAL HERITAGE, (A COFFIN OR EMBALMING MACHINE) OR A SCULPTURE TOO BIG TO GET DOWN THE STAIRS. I'VE ALWAYS LIKED ODD-BALL COLLECTIBLES, THAT OTHER PEOPLE LOOK AT WITH DISDAIN. IT IS TRULY THE CASE FOR ME, THAT ARTICLES LIKE THIS, SPEAK TO ME EVERSO SOFTLY, BUT EMPHATICALLY…."BUY ME…..TAKE ME HOME…..I'M YOURS." SUZANNE, AS MY BUSINESS PARTNER, HAS ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD MY NEED TO BE A LITTLE LEFT OF CENTRE……AN ODD DUCK, YOU MIGHT SAY. AS I WRITER, I'VE GOT EVEN MORE QUIRKS, AND I AM HEAVILY SUPERSTITIOUS. IT'S WHY I PAY ATTENTION, OUT ON THE ANTIQUE HUSTINGS, WHEN SOME ANTIQUE OR PIECE OF ART, BECKONS ME TO PAY ATTENTION. EVERY WILD AND CRAZY PIECE I'VE EVER PURCHASED, FOR OUR BUSINESS, HAS BEEN SOLD. IF I BOUGHT SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE I LIKED IT…..THIS WOULD BE AVERAGE AND PREDICTABLE. I'M NEITHER. BUT AS STRANGE AS THIS MAY SEEM, TO THE SPECTATOR, THE MORE UNUSUAL THE PIECE, THE EASIER IT WILL BE TO UNLOAD, AND RATHER QUICKLY. YES, THERE'S THE TRADITIONAL FARE, AND IT'S TRUE, THEY ARE OUR "MEAT AND POTATOES" SUSTENANCE; SO FOR BASIC SURVIVAL-INVENTORY, IT KIND OF DEPENDS ON HAVING A LARGE SELECTION OF THESE PREDICTABLE PIECES SUZANNE LOVES. WHEN THE LARGE AND GROTESQUE ITEMS SELL, WELL, I'M LEFT WITH NICE PIECES BUT ONES I CONSIDER "FOR PROFIT" ANTIQUES. GOOD FOR INVESTMENT. I'M GLAD I'VE GOT THEM, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO MAKE A PROFIT AT SOME POINT. OF COURSE, THE BIGGEST PROFIT WE CAN GET, IS FROM SOME WEIRD, OUT OF PLACE ART-PIECE, THAT WHILE MIGHT HANG AROUND THE SHOP AWHILE, WILL EVENTUALLY SELL FOR A CONSIDERABLE HIKE FROM THE PRICE I PAID. THERE ARE COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH HOUSING BIG AND STRANGE STUFF, SO THE PRICE HAS TO REFLECT A NUMBER OF IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS. SUCH AS HOW HARD WAS IT TO FIND, HOW FAR DID WE HAVE TO DRIVE TO FIND IT, TRANSPORTATION COSTS, HAULING IT TO THE SHOP (OR HOME), REPAIRS, HIRED FOLKS NEEDED TO SET IT IN PLACE, AND THE SPECIAL TREATS I HAVE TO BUY SUZANNE TO MAKE UP FOR MY ECCENTRICITY. YOU SEE, SUZANNE DOESN'T BUY THIS "ECCENTRIC" EXCUSE, FOR THE CRAZY THINGS I DO. I USED TO GET AWAY WITH IT A LOT. THEN SHE STARTED TO FIGURE OUT, I WAS THE LEAST ECCENTRIC PERSON SHE KNEW…….BUT ONE OF THE MOST CUNNING AND SUBSEQUENTLY, ANNOYING. I CAN'T EVEN PLAY THE "ECCENTRIC" WRITER ANY MORE, AND SHE HAS DEVELOPED AN ACCOUNTANT'S WAY OF DEALING WITH ME…..IN ALL REGARDS.
I HAVE WATCHED MANY ANTIQUE DEALERS FAIL, BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE INDUSTRY. THEY EXPECTED TOO MUCH. THEY GOT INTO THE BUSINESS OF BUYING AND SELLING ANTIQUES WITHOUT HAVING COMPLETED AN APPRENTICESHIP, AND WHILE THEY KNEW HOW TO FLIP PIECES, ON A FLEA MARKET BASIS, THEY DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE NUANCES OF THE TRADE…..BEYOND COMMERCE. EXPERIENCED ANTIQUE DEALERS ARE SORT OF LIKE MAGICIANS. THEY HAVE A LOT OF TRADE SECRETS THEY WILL TAKE TO THEIR GRAVE. EVEN IF THEY WERE IN THEIR LAST HOUR OF LIFE, THEY WOULDN'T REVEAL THE SECRETS THEY'VE KEPT CLOISTERED IN MEMORY, SINCE THEY BEGAN THE ANTIQUE HUNT……USUALLY AS YOUNGSTERS, STARTING SMALL, AND GRADUATING TO DIAMOND POINT ARMOIRES, AND ANTIQUE GLASS, ART, CHINA, POTTERY AND FURNITURE. THEY HAVE A PASSION THAT DOESN'T REALLY SHOW ITSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S A DISADVANTAGE IN WEARING ONE'S ENTHUSIASM IN THIS TRADE. THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AMONGST US, ARE NOT BOASTFUL ABOUT THEIR COLLECTIONS. THEY DON'T START DOING THE "VICTORY DANCE" WHEN THEY FIND A GOOD PIECE. YOU WILL HARDLY EVER SEE A VETERAN DEALER, SHOW ANY EMOTION WHATSOEVER, EVEN IF THEY BOUGHT A TOM THOMSON ART PANEL AT A YARD SALE FOR FIVE BUCKS. I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY HOP BACK INTO THE VAN, THEY'RE DRIVING, BUT YOU JUST WON'T HEAR A MURMUR, OR ANY SOUND DEFINABLY SIMILAR TO "GLEE." THEY MIGHT ASK THE VENDOR IF HE OR SHE HAS ANY MORE OF THESE LOVELY LITTLE BIRCH PANEL PAINTINGS, AND ALWAYS POLITELY, YET THERE IS NO NEED TO ENGAGE IN ANY MORE CONVERSATION THAN THIS. I HAVE ALWAYS LAUGHED ABOUT THOSE HOBBY DEALERS, WHO JUMP UP AND DOWN, AND START MOUTHING OFF ABOUT THE BIG FINDS, EVEN BEFORE THEY'VE LEFT THE SUBJECT PROPERTY, WHERE THEY MADE THE PURCHASE. NOW THAT'S JUST STUPID. ONE DEALER I DIDN'T LIKE, USED TO TELL ME ABOUT THE "BIG SCORE" HE GOT AT SOME SALE. IN FACT, HE'D TELL ME THIS, EVEN IF WE WERE STANDING SIDE BY SIDE THE GENTLEMAN WHO HAD JUST SOLD HIM A BOX OF BOOKS, OR SACK OF COMICS.
I WALK AWAY FROM A LOT OF PEOPLE AT THESE SALES, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THEIR ANTICS. I DON'T PARTNER WITH OTHER ANTIQUE DEALERS AS A RULE. I WILL LISTEN TO THEM, AND SELL THEM PIECES, BUT I WILL NEVER COLLABORATE. A LOT OF DEALERS ARE LIKE THIS. SOME LIKE TO PARTNER AND NETWORK, WHILE MANY PREFER SEPARATION FROM DEALERS THEY'RE NOT SURE ABOUT…..OR WHO THEY FEEL, COME ON TOO STRONG. SUZANNE AND I HAVE BEEN IN THIS GROUPING SINCE WE BEGAN IN THE TRADE. WE APPRECIATE THE WORK OF OUR FELLOW DEALERS. WE JUST DON'T WANT TO CLIMB IN BED WITH THEM. I RESIGNED FROM A RECENT APPRAISAL PROJECT I WAS WORKING ON, FOR THIS PRECISE REASON. IT'S A PROFESSIONAL THING, AND I DON'T EXPECT ANY ONE TO REALLY UNDERSTAND IT…….BUT IT WORKS FOR US, AS REPUTATION IS AN IMMENSELY DIFFICULT QUALITY AND QUANTITY TO PRESERVE IN OUR LINE OF WORK. IT TAKES DECADES TO BUILD UP TRUST, AND ONE SECOND TO SCREW IT ALL INTO THE GROUND. ONE MISTAKE COULD COST YOU ENOUGH CREDIBILITY, TO KILL YOUR BUSINESS IN A SMALL TOWN. I DON'T TAKE RISKS. BUYING, YES. RISK IS INHERENT IN THE INDUSTRY. IT'S PART OF THE GAME. BUT MY ASSOCIATIONS ARE CAREFUL, AND WELL RESEARCHED. THE PROFESSION HAS ITS PROBLEMS, AND ITS CHARACTERS. THIS IS ALSO ITS LEGACY FROM BEFORE THE DAYS OF CHARLES DICKENS, AND THE OLD CURIOSITY SHOP.
ONE LADY I USED TO KNOW, WOULD START JUMPING ON THE SPOT, YELPING, ABOUT THE INCREDIBLE DEALS SHE GOT. MEANWHILE, THE SALE HOST IS STARING IN DISBELIEF. I WALK AWAY SILENTLY BUT QUICKLY. THERE WAS ANOTHER ANTIQUING "TOOL," (PARDON MY UNKIND ASSESSMENT OF HIS CHARACTER) WHO BOUGHT A BAG OF WADE NURSERY RHYME (TEA) FIGURINES FROM A LOCAL THRIFT SHOP. I SAW HIM PICK UP THE BAG OF ABOUT A HUNDRED PIECES, LOOK AT THE PRICE, WHILE THANKING GOD FOR MAKING THIS HIS LUCKY DAY. THE BAG-LOAD OF TEA FIGURES WAS ONLY TEN DOLLARS. IN MINT CONDITION, THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE WORTH FOUR TO FIVE DOLLARS EACH. A GINGERBREAD MAN WOULD BE MUCH MORE THAN THIS, BECAUSE THE FIGURINES WERE MADE SO THIN, AND FRAGILE, MANY DIDN'T SURVIVE THE ROUGH HANDLING OF THE KIDS, WHO USUALLY GOT TO PLAY WITH THEM, BEFORE THEY WERE PUT UP ON THE WINDOW SILL…..LIKE OUR APARTMENT, WHERE MERLE LIKED THEM, POSITIONED IN A THEME GROUPING, BATHED BY THE AFTERNOON SUNLIGHT BEAMING THROUGH THE KITCHEN GLASS.
THE GOOF GOT OUTSIDE, AND STARTED TELLING EVERYONE WHO WENT INTO THE STORE, WHAT A GREAT DEAL HE GOT AT THE THRIFT SHOP. WHAT DIDN'T HE UNDERSTAND ABOUT "THRIFT SHOP," AND ITS FUNDRAISING TO HELP THE LESS FORTUNATE? SO THE PEOPLE COMING INTO THE STORE, ACTUALLY STARTED COMMENTING TO STAFF, ABOUT THE HUGE PRIZE THE GUY OUTSIDE GOT…….AND "ARE THERE ANY MORE BAGS OF TEA FIGURINES?" THE GIRL AT THE COUNTER, WAS A HEART BREAKER. SHE SAID, CALMLY, WITH A LITTLE SMILE, "THEY WERE ALL THE CHIPPED ONES. THE GOOD ONES ARE GOING IN NEXT MONTH'S SILENT AUCTION." THE TEN DOLLAR BAG OF WADE FIGURES WAS BASICALLY WORTHLESS, BECAUSE IN THE COLLECTING FIELD, CHIPS ARE A BIG DOWNER, AND UNLESS IT'S A FILL-IN PIECE, UNTIL THE COLLECTOR GETS A PRISTINE FIGURE AS A REPLACEMENT, THE DAMAGED GOODS ARE OF NO REAL VALUE. IF THIS SUPPOSED DEALER HAD SOME EXPERIENCE, OR AT LEAST BEEN WILLING TO TALK TO ONE OF HIS CRONIES, IN THE STORE AT THE SAME TIME, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO RE-INVEST THE TEN DOLLARS IN SOMETHING MORE SIGNIFICANT. LIKE THE SIGNED ORIGINAL OIL PAINTING, I BOUGHT INSTEAD, WHILE HE WAS REJOICING HIS BIG COUP.
Another collector, now deceased, had a huge chip on his shoulder. He wanted to be considered a big time dealer, although he did everything contrary to what makes a good dealer, an even better, more profitable and accomplished dealer. When he had a short-lived shop, I used to visit occasionally, and talk with him about the antique trade. Well, it was more like, he talked and I listened reluctantly, and then picked him clean of every antique I could find in his shop that was undervalued. We call them "sleepers." I tried to help the guy improve himself, but I found it impossible to change him fast enough to save his shop, or his place in this highly competitive business. He was aggressive with his attitude, and felt that he knew everything there was to know about antiques and collectibles, and that basically, I should mind my own business. I've had lots of folks tell me this recently, and I always comply. So with this gentleman, we called "Horhay," I'd let him tell me how a piece he had, was worth ten times his asking price, but for me, I could have it for a ten percent discount from the sticker amount. He'd spend his time trying to sell me crap, and then I'd say something like, 'Well, it's hard to resist, but you know, I kind of like that wooden bowl over there." He'd be so pissed that I dropped my focus on his sale's pitch, the sales pitch, that he'd usually say, "Ah you can have that for half price. It's new you know?" I'd become mute from this point, and let him tell me how he was ripping me off, even letting me buy such a low-line piece. The danger for me was keeping a straight face, because I really wanted, after paying for it, to tell the guy just how ridiculous and stupid he was……as this was the genuine article, worth four to five times more than than the junk he was trying to sell me in the first place. He was so full of himself, that one day, he arrived at the sales desk at a local thrift shop, with a dollar record in hand. When he finished making his purchase, he stood at the counter and told the check-out girls, how he had just bought a rare five hundred dollar record, that he was going to sell online. What a jerk to do something like this, and he was wrong by the way. I took a peak, and as my two sons are experts in vintage vinyl, and 78's, he was just blowing smoke. He closed-up his business shortly after, because he found customers annoyed him with stupid questions. Truth is, there are thousands of these kind of half-ass dealers, ruining the industry for those of us who have paid our dues, worked hard, and studied ceaselessly for decades, to get to this stage of competence.
I have taken the time with many friends to offer a few basic tips about buying and selling for profit. The self-help books will tell you to buy what you like, and always buy quality. While I always buy with high regard for quality, I seldom buy what I like. I have to buy what you might like, instead, seeing as my profession depends on my being able to flip these pieces for profit. I was told by a writing professor, in my first year of university, that if a piece of writing I produce, is understood by only me, then "wad it up," and toss into the garbage bin…..and try again. This time, to try and appeal to readers generally. At least if you're interested in selling a book, or increasing readership. The same goes for antique hunting, as a profession. Buying what you like can get you into a lot of trouble. Buying for others is the real trick of the trade, and requires a huge amount of exposure to what's going on in the industry as a whole, and what collectors are looking for. The big deal right now, is to appeal to home decorators, and in part, we can thank Martha Stewart and a host of others, for breathing new life into the antique trade. The ultra modern interior designs are incorporating antiques side by side contemporary furnishings and art, and the look, as they say, is "rather fetching." So my advice to fledgling dealers, who think they're pretty smart, and well travelled, is to admit you're a liar, and you suffer from delusional episodes. The antique trade takes years of cruel and punishing mistakes, to make perfect. There is no end to your studies. The rules change constantly, and the trends are not predictable…..just that there will be a new one every six to eight months, and your survival will depend on intuition, and resolve to read, learn, immerse, and ask pertinent questions of those veterans of the industry. We won't tell you everything, because you're a potential competitor. But if you are humble and approachable, and want to learn outside the box, then you must show respect to those who are imbedded in the industry. I'll tell you why being imbedded in the industry, prohibits us from telling all we know. There are estates out there, waiting to break forth, that can make an antique dealer very wealthy. Patience is most definitely a virtue.
Suzanne and I are embarking on an antique adventure we hadn't expected in mid-life, but having an opportunity to work with our boys in the vintage music trade, sparked a little competitive come-back into the industry, that we had pared down to mostly online sales, over the past ten years. We have had to re-deploy some of our old magic, to build back an antique inventory fast, in time for the opening of two large rooms in the boys' Muskoka Road shop, here in Gravenhurst, in what was the Muskoka Theatre, opposite the Gravenhurst Opera House. We're a little rusty, but like any good magician, we can make money disappear pretty darn fast out there……and we have to trust our antiquing instincts to make sensible and warmly-odd acquisitions. There will be many oddball pieces. I promise. This afternoon, we just re-built a century old showcase that used to be in the Bush IDA, also on Muskoka Road. We moved it from a vintage clothing shop, in the corner space of the Albion Hotel, a year ago, and it was in so many small pieces, we were dreading the day we had to put it all back together. Son Andrew is a whiz at this kind of thing. Suzanne now has a little counter area to work, and display some of her special antique pieces, built up over a life-time. It'll be fun. We're calm old-timers these days, who want a little bit of fun before we kick-off from this mortal coil. We'll be open by July Ist. Drop in for a visit.
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