Hoarders, and Not So Much, Collector Sensibility

HOARDERS AND REALITY TELEVISION - AND COLLECTORS WHO NEED HELP! AND THOSE OF US WHO WOULDN'T DRAW AN AUDIENCE!

SOME COLLECTORS DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP - SOME CAN NOT!

IF YOU'RE A COLLECTOR, OR AN ANTIQUE DEALER, WITH ANY SIGNIFICANT HISTORY IN THE INDUSTRY, YOU MOST CERTAINLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS, BY DEFINITION, A "HOARDER." I DON'T REMEMBER USING THIS LABEL, BEFORE RECENT REALITY TELEVISION TOOK AN INTEREST IN PERSONAL MISFORTUNE, AND NEWS REPORTERS STARTED HIGHLIGHTING FIRE SCENES, AT DOMAINS, OF WHAT THEY REFERRED TO AS TEXTBOOK CASES OF "HOARDING."

SEEING AS IT IS IN OUR REALM OF DESIRABILITY TO COLLECT STUFF, THE MINIMALISTS LIKE TO POINT FINGERS……AS IF TO SAY TO A MEDIA POSSEE, "LOOK! THERE THEY ARE…..COLLECTORS….GET 'EM. (ON FILM)." IT'S A LITTLE LIKE GAMBLING. THERE ARE PROBLEM GAMBLERS JUST AS THERE ARE COLLECTORS PRONE TO EXCESSES. IN BOTH CASES, THOSE WHO HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME WITH MODERATION, WIND-UP IN BIG TROUBLE. BUT IF IT WAS THE CASE, THAT ASSOCIATE COLLECTORS WERE ACTUALLY DOING THE FILMING OF "HOARDERS AMONGST THEM," I THINK WE'D AGREE, THE REPORTING WOULD BE A LITTLE LESS PREJUDICIAL FROM THE GET-GO. WHILE IT'S PRETTY HARD TO ACCEPT HOARDING HEALTH-THREATENING ITEMS, LIKE DECAYING FOOD AND GENERAL GARBAGE…..IT'S A LITTLE BIT MORE INVOLVED THAN SIMPLY AND BROADLY LABELING EXCESSES, AS "COLLECTOR GONE MAD!" ARGUABLY, SENSIBLE PROPORTION IS A PERSONAL THING, AND FOR SOME FOLKS, A CRISIS LEVEL OF POSSESSIONS, MAY ONLY BE CONSIDERED A WEE MATTER OF HOUSEKEEPING

WHEN I TELL NEW ACQUAINTANCES THAT I'M A COLLECTOR / DEALER OF ANTIQUES, THEY GAWK AT ME, WITH A LOOK ON THEIR MUGS LIKE "I KNOW WHAT YOUR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE." WELL, IT IS JAMMED ADMITTEDLY, BUT QUITE NEAT. WHEN I FIRST BEGAN WORK IN THE ANTIQUE TRADE, BACK IN THE LATE 1970'S, FOLKS SEEMED TO BE IMPRESSED ABOUT THIS IMMERSION INTO THE FIELD OF HISTORY. AT THAT TIME, I HAD JUST GRADUATED WITH A DEGREE IN CANADIAN HISTORY, FROM YORK UNIVERSITY, AND I COULDN'T WAIT TO JUMP IN TO ALL KINDS OF HERITAGE MATTERS……INCLUDING THE BUY / SELL FROM OUR NEW STORE, ON THE MAIN STREET OF BRACEBRIDGE. I WAS BUYING AND REFINISHING FOR OUR SHOP, NOT TO AMASS ANY KIND OF COLLECTION. I WAS BUYING THEN, TO SELL, AND THUSLY PAY THE RENT. I'M DOING THE SAME TODAY, BUT WITHOUT APOLOGY, HANGING ONTO THINGS WE LIKE, JUST A LITTLE LONGER. A FRIEND ACTUALLY CALLED ME A HOARDER, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, AND I RETALIATED, TELLING HER BLUNTLY, THAT SHE WAS "THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK," AS SHE WAS JUST AS MUCH A COLLECTOR /HOARDER THEN, AS I WAS. WE BOTH HAVE NEAT HOMES. WE TAKE OUR GARBAGE TO THE CURBS. WE RECYCLE. WE HAVE PROPER DISPLAY CUPBOARDS AND LOTS OF BOOK SHELVES FOR STORAGE. WE'RE NOT CREATING FIRE HAZARDS. BUT I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THE MEDIA PROFILES AND DOCUMENTARIES ON HOARDERS, BROADCAST OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS, HAS VERY MUCH PAINTED US WITH A BROAD STROKE. AND IT'S A SHADE OF MADNESS. HOW ABOUT PROFILES OF RUN-OF-THE-MILL COLLECTORS? RATINGS? AVERAGE AND RUN-OF-THE-MILL ONLY WORKED FOR THE BRADY BUNCH.

I DO VOLUNTEER THE INFORMATION, WHEN TALKING TO FRIENDS, THAT "ALL COLLECTORS ARE NOT HOARDERS," IF I SENSE THEY'RE GOING TO TELL ALL THEIR FAMILY AND NEIGHBORS, THAT MR. CURRIE IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIVES LIKE THE HOARDERS YOU SEE ON TELEVISION. TRUTH IS, MOST PEOPLE I TALK WITH THESE DAYS, ARE COLLECTORS ANYWAY, SO WE DON'T GET THAT INTRUSIVE ABOUT LIVING ARRANGEMENTS. ON OCCASION I WILL MEET SOMEONE WHO IS GENUINELY INTERESTED IN COLLECTORS, AND "WHY THEY DO WHAT THEY DO!" WHY DO GOLFERS GOLF? CURLERS CURL? READERS BUY BOOKS? IT'S OUR RECREATION. A HOBBY. A FASCINATION. AND SOMEWHAT PROFITABLE AT THE SAME TIME. I NEVER MIND DISCUSSING THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE COLLECTOR, AND USUALLY THE OUTCOME IS QUITE SATISFACTORY…..AND THE BENEFACTOR OF THIS EXPLANATION, MAY NOT BE SO HARSH IN THEIR INSTANTANEOUS CONDEMNATION OF COLLECTING THINGS….AS THE ASSUMED ROUTE ON THE WAY TO BECOMING A VIDEO-STAR "HOARDER."

ADMITTEDLY I HAVE KNOWN QUITE A FEW COLLECTORS WHO BECAME OBSESSED BY THEIR INTERESTS, AND EACH OF THEM HAD OTHER EMOTIONAL ISSUES. THIS ISN'T A MENTAL-ISSUES OVERVIEW, OR A CLINICAL APPRAISAL OF WHAT EXCESSES, AND HUMAN FAILINGS INSPIRE SOME OF US TO BECOME HOARDERS. IT IS SIMPLY AN OBSERVATION, THAT THE DOZEN OR SO I HAVE KNOWN, SINCE THE 1970'S, HAVE ALL HAD OBVIOUS PERSONAL ISSUES THAT ANYONE WOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON, IN THE MOST BASIC CONTACT OF DAY TO DAY LIVING. I MET A MAJORITY OF THESE FOLKS, WHEN WE HAD OUR ANTIQUE SHOP ON THE MAIN STREET OF BRACEBRIDGE, ONTARIO, FROM 1989 TO ABOUT 1995. IT WAS HERE THAT I MET DAVE BROWN, ONE OF THE MOST ECCENTRIC COLLECTORS I'VE EVER KNOWN. A BRILLIANT MAN, OUTDOOR EDUCATOR, HISTORIAN, AND MAJOR NON-FICTION BOOK COLLECTOR, DAVE'S FATHER WAS A FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF, AT THE GENERAL HOSPITAL IN HAMILTON, ONTARIO. FOR THE EARLY YEARS OF HIS LIFE, HE WAS TREATED ROYALLY, AND CERTAINLY A PRIVILEGED CHILD. THEN HIS FATHER DIED SUDDENLY OF A HEART PROBLEM, WHILE HE WAS STILL VERY YOUNG. THIS IS, IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, AND AS HIS BIOGRAPHER, WHERE THE EXCESSIVE, OBSESSIVE HOARDING BEGAN. IT COST HIM A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER, AND A MARRIAGE. IT'S NOT EASY LIVING WITH PEOPLE LIKE DAVE BROWN. WHEN HIS WIFE ASKED HIM TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HIS MASSIVE COLLECTION OF BOOKS, CROWDING THEIR RESIDENCE, OR HER, IT WAS EASY FOR DAVE. HE WAS KEEPING HIS BOOKS. DAVE LED A LONELY LIFE BECAUSE OF HIS DECISION TO LIVE AS HE WISHED. NO MATTER HOW HE MAY HAVE TRIED TO FIND CONCESSIONS, IT WAS OBVIOUS HIS OBSESSIVE NATURE WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTAIN.

DAVE WOULD ONLY LET ONE OR TWO PEOPLE HE KNEW WELL, INTO HIS HAMILTON BUNGALOW. HE'D WELCOME YOU TO ONE OF THIS MANY YARD SALES, WHICH HE CLAIMED WERE PROFITABLE BECAUSE OF THE CHEAP FURNISHINGS ETC., HE OFFERED UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. YOU WERE PERFECTLY WELCOME TO WANDER AROUND HIS LAWN, BUT DON'T DARE ASK TO USE THE WASHROOM. DAVE HAD OVER 100,000 BOOKS JAMMED INTO THAT BUNGALOW, AND IT WAS A PRETTY SCARY ADVENTURE, NAVIGATING INSIDE……ACCORDING TO CLOSE FRIENDS. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE YOUNG DAVE BROWN, BEING RAISED BY HIS MOTHER FOR MOST OF HIS EARLY DAYS, HE FELT A GREAT INNER COMFORT BEING SURROUNDED BY THE POSSESSIONS OF CHOICE. ALONG WITH THE BOOKS AND DOCUMENTS, HE ADORED LOGGING ARTIFACTS, FROM HIS DAYS WORKING IN HALIBURTON, NEAR DORSET, AND ALGONQUIN, WHERE HIS CHERISHED PASTIME INVOLVED SCOURING THE LAKES SHORES AND OLD LUMBER CAMPS, FOR ANY OLD RELICS OF THE HISTORIC INDUSTRY….CHAINS TO CANT HOOKS, LOGGING STAMPS TO OLD SAW BLADES. BUT HERE'S WHERE IT GOT WEIRD.

DAVE WAS A COUNCILLOR AT CAMP COMACK, NEAR DORSET, FOR QUITE A FEW YEARS. IN FACT, HE WAS VERY INTERESTED IN BUYING THE CAMP, WHEN HE FOUND OUT THE OWNER WAS CONSIDERING SELLING IT FOR COTTAGE DEVELOPMENT. HIS MOTHER REFUSED TO LEND HIM THE MONEY, AND HE REFUSED TO TALK WITH HER AGAIN. DAVE USED TO EMPLOY HIS CAMPERS, TO HUNT WHEREVER THEY WERE CANOEING, OR HIKING, FOR THESE LOGGING INDUSTRY ARTIFACTS. WHEN DAVE PASSED AWAY, AFTER A SHORT ILLNESS, EXECUTORS FOUND THAT HE HAD AN IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION OF THESE LUMBER INDUSTRY ANTIQUES, ALSO JAMMED INTO HIS HAMILTON BUNGALOW. SOME MAY HAVE BEEN FROM HIS DAYS AT COMACK, COURTESY OF HIS YOUNG CAMPERS. IS THIS WRONG? YUP, PRETTY MUCH. IMAGINE THE LIABILITY, IF A CAMPER HAD BEEN INJURED OR DROWNED, WHILE EMPLOYED BY MR. BROWN.

I'VE WRITTEN LOTS ABOUT THE LIFE AND TIMES OF DAVID BROWN, AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LEGENDARY BOOK COLLECTOR, YOU CAN SEARCH BACK IN THE MONTH OF JANUARY, WHERE I RAN A SHORT SERIES OF BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES, ON THIS SAME SITE. DAVE NEVER GAVE THE IMPRESSION HE WAS A HOARDER. I WAS SHOCKED TO FIND OUT, FROM HIS EXECUTORS, THAT THE MAN WAS WASHING HIS DISHES IN A BATHTUB, BECAUSE THE KITCHEN SINK WAS IN DISREPAIR. BEFORE THIS, I KNEW HE HAD A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE PILES OF BOOKS BLOCKING-IN HIS FRIDGE. WHEN IT QUIT, AND NEEDED TO BE REMOVED, DAVE COMPLAINED THAT IT WOULD TAKE A WEEK OF BOOK RE-LOCATION, TO GET THE OLD ONE OUT AND A NEW ONE IN ITS PLACE. I'M NOT SURE HE EVER REPLACED IT, TO BE HONEST. IT WAS CLOSE TO THE PERIOD HE BECAME VERY ILL. BUT THE MOST RELEVANT POINT, CAME FROM THE EXECUTORS, WHO DISCOVERED, WITH THE HUGE QUANTITY OF BOOKS, THAT IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA, TO REMOVE THE BOOKS IN THE BASEMENT, BEFORE LIGHTENING THE BOOKS ON THE FIRST FLOOR. WHEN THEY BEGAN DOING THIS, THERE WAS TELL-TALE CREAKING OF THE FLOOR JOIST. DAVE HAD ACTUALLY WEDGED BOOKS FROM THE FLOOR, TO THE FLOOR JOIST. IT'S TRUE. DAVE HAD LOAD-BEARING BOOK PILES.

WHAT'S SIGNIFICANT HERE, IS THAT MANY OF DAVE'S RARE AND OUT-OF-PRINT BOOKS, WERE RUINED BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE STORED THEM. THIS IS NOT THE HALLMARK OF A RESPONSIBLE, CONSERVATION-MINDED COLLECTOR. IT IS THE SIGN SOMETHING HAS SPUN OUT OF CONTROL, AND IS RUINING A LIFE'S BEST INTENTIONS. THE OTHER REALITY OF MR. BROWN, WAS THAT HE WAS OVER-SENSITIVE TO ANY PERSONAL COMMENTS. YOU HAD TO VERY CAUTIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID, WHETHER IT WAS ABOUT HIS SLOPPY ATTIRE, OR THE KIND OF BOOKS HE COLLECTED. IF I HAD EVER MADE A SUGGESTION, HE WAS POSSIBLY COLLECTING TOO MUCH, EVEN AFTER HE ADMITTED WHAT HIS HOUSE LOOKED LIKE, HE MOST CERTAINLY WOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED ME TO WRITE HIS BIOGRAPHY (PUBLISHED IN THE AUTUMN OF 2000). ON ONE OCCASION, A TEACHING COLLEAGUE, IN HAMILTON, WENT OUT AND PURCHASED A PAIR OF MAGNIFYING GLASSES FOR DAVE, TO HELP HIM READ. HE HAD FAILING EYESIGHT BUT WOULD NOT AGREE TO VISIT AN OPTOMETRIST. DAVE WOULD HOLD A BOOK UP TO THE END OF HIS NOSE TO READ IT. SO WHEN THE YOUNG LADY HANDED HIM THE GLASSES, HE IMMEDIATELY THREW THEM BACK, AND STORMED OFF. HE WENT A LONG TIME BEFORE TALKING TO HER AGAIN. THERE WERE THINGS ABOUT DAVE, HIS FRIENDS WORRIED ABOUT, BUT BECAUSE HE WAS SUCH A HUGE INTELLECT, AND SUCH A COMPETENT AND WELL LIKED OUTDOOR EDUCATION TEACHER, MOST JUST BIT THEIR TONGUE, WHEN IT CAME TO OFFERING ANY ADVICE. FOR EXAMPLE, I WANTED TO HAUL HIS ASS TO A DENTIST, BECAUSE HIS MOUTH WAS FULL OF ROTTING TEETH. THIS MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS ILLNESS, ACCORDING TO SOME REPORTS ABOUT THE POISON CIRCULATING FROM ABCESS POCKETS…..WHICH YOU COULD SEE ON HIS GUMS WHEN HE TALKED.

DAVE WAS A HIGHLY COMPETENT AND LEARNED COLLECTOR. THOSE WHO WENT TO THE AUCTION OF HIS ESTATE, SAID AS MUCH. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING…..BUT NOT WHEN IT CAME TO MANAGING EXCESS. ONE OF THE BEST INDICATORS, WAS WHEN FRIENDS SHOWED UP AT THE HOSPITAL, SHORTLY BEFORE HIS DEATH, AND SPRUNG HIM FROM HAMILTON GENERAL, TO GO OUT FOR DINNER. THEY ASKED HIM WHERE HE WANTED TO GO, AND LOW AND BEHOLD, THE RESTAURANT WAS BESIDE ONE OF HIS FAVORITE BOOKSTORES. DID HE HAVE A NICE DINNER. THEY THOUGHT SO. DID HE BUY A BOOK? YES HE DID. WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT IT? "YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE ARE GOING TO FIND A GOOD BOOK." IT WAS ADDED TO THE 100,000 BOOKS HE HAD SQUIRRELED AWAY IN HIS BUNGALOW. DAVE PASSED AWAY SHORTLY AFTER THIS VISIT TO THE BOOK SHOP.

I HAVE HAD OTHER EXPERIENCES WITH OBSESSIVE COLLECTORS THAT WERE MORE OBVIOUS THAN WITH DAVE. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEIR LIVING CIRCUMSTANCES WERE LIKE. THERE WAS ONE YOUNG LADY WHO USED TO VISIT OUR SHOP, WHO HAD A VERY GENERALIST APPROACH TO COLLECTING. SHE BOUGHT WHAT SHE LIKED. NOT JUST IN ONE FIELD. WHENEVER I ATTENDED AN AUCTION SALE, THE AUCTIONEER'S GAVEL WOULD HAVE ONLY JUST FALLEN, FOR THE LAST TIME, BEFORE SHE WAS INVESTIGATING WHAT I'D PURCHASED. SHE WAS HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, AND A WONDERFUL INDIVIDUAL TO TALK WITH, BUT SHE BECAME ALMOST FRANTIC ABOUT WHAT SHE COULD BUY, WITH THE MONEY AVAILABLE. AT ONE TIME, I HAD ABOUT TEN MAJOR ITEMS ON HOLD FOR HER, AND SHE ONLY EVER PURCHASED TWO OF THEM. AT THE SAME TIME, ANOTHER LADY, A FEW YEARS OLDER, WAS DOING EXACTLY THE SAME THING. I'D COME HOME TO MY WIFE, WITH THIS SIGNIFICANT NEWS THAT I'D SOLD ANOTHER PINE BED, ONE MORE SIDEBOARD, A FLAT-T0-THE-WALL, A QUILT, JUG AND BOWL SET……AND SUZANNE WOULD SAY, "DID SHE BUY THEM ALL?" WHEN I TOLD HER ABOUT MULTIPLE SALES, SHE KNEW WHO HAD MADE THE PURCHASE, WITHOUT ME SAYING ANYTHING MORE. SHE HAD A PATTERN. AN OBSESSIVE NEED TO SPEND EVERY DIME SHE HAD. I FELT KIND OF BAD FOR BOTH GALS, BECAUSE THEY WERE BUYING QUALITY BUT THEY WERE DOING SO BY IMPULSE…..A SENSE THAT IF THEY DIDN'T JUMP ON IT FAST, I'D SELL IT TO SOMEONE ELSE. I THINK THIS IS WHAT THEY FEARED THE MOST, YET I ALWAYS AGREED TO HOLD ITEMS, EVEN IF THEY COULDN'T AFFORD A DEPOSIT. WE WERE A SMALL BUSINESS IN A SMALL TOWN, AND WE HAD TO DO WHATEVER WE COULD TO KEEP OUR CUSTOMERS HAPPY…..BECAUSE THEY WERE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.

I REMEMBER A DAY, WHEN ONE OF THE TWO YOUNG LADIES, CAME IN AND CANCELLED THREE OR FOUR OF THE ANTIQUES WE HAD ON HOLD. IT WAS, OF COURSE, DISAPPOINTING TO ME, BUT I UNDERSTOOD ENTIRELY WHAT SHE WAS RECKONING WITH…….DESIRE OUTWEIGHING SENSIBLE PROPORTION AND PROPER BUDGETING. SHE HAD BEEN GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE GAMBLE OF ANTIQUES…….AND THE FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY, THAT SHE WAS GETTING A RIDICULOUSLY LOW PURCHASE PRICE, OF PIECES WORTH TWICE OR THREE TIMES AS MUCH. BUT SHE WASN'T A DEALER, SO THERE WAS NO WAY OF MEASURING THIS, BECAUSE SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN SELLING WHAT SHE BOUGHT. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN OKAY FOR HER IF SHE COULD HAVE TURNED A PROFIT. BUT THAT WASN'T WHY SHE MADE THE PURCHASES. SHE ADMITTED, WITH TEARS IN HER EYES, THAT SHE HAD BLOWN HER RENT MONEY, HAD LITTLE LEFT FOR FOOD, AND JUST AN APARTMENT FULL OF OLD STUFF. SHE HAD, YOU SEE, FINALLY RECOGNIZED THAT HER EXCESSES WERE NOT OF SENSIBLE PROPORTION TO THE MONEY SHE HAD TO SPEND EACH MONTH. SHE HAD FALLEN BEHIND IN EVERY PAYMENT BECAUSE OF THIS. I ACTUALLY STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BEING AN ANTIQUE DEALER. I HAD BEEN A PARTY TO AN EMOTIONAL DISORDER…..TO THE BRINK OF NEAR BANKRUPTCY. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? TELL HER SHE COULDN'T BUY FROM ME ANY MORE? IT DID CROSS MY MIND TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT IT……TO SEE IF SHE WAS OKAY WITH ALL THIS RECKLESS SPENDING, BUT THERE WAS NEVER A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO GET SO INTIMATE…..AS TO TALK PERSONAL FINANCES WITH A CUSTOMER I DIDN'T KNOW TOO WELL. SHE NEVER CAME INTO THE SHOP AGAIN. AVOIDANCE. I GET IT. I DON'T GO INTO BARS ANY MORE EITHER…..AS I WAS PRETTY EXCESSIVE IN THIS DEPARTMENT.

THE SECOND WOMAN, WHO INVESTED HEAVILY IN OUR BUSINESS, WAS VERY ASTUTE, AND BOUGHT SOME OF OUR FINER PIECES. BUT SHE WASN'T WELL-OFF FINANCIALLY, AND I KNEW THAT SOONER OR LATER, SHE TOO WOULD HIT THE SATURATION POINT, AND HAVE TO STOP BUYING. SHE WAS HOWEVER, ABLE TO SELL SOME ITEMS OFF, TO AFFORD OTHERS SHE WANTED MORE. BUT IT WAS CONSTANT. THE CYCLE NEVER STOPPED OR EVEN SLOWED DOWN. IT WAS DIZZYING TO ME, JUST HOW MUCH BUSINESS SHE WAS GIVING OUR LITTLE SHOP, AND, ONCE AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I APPRECIATED IT, I KNEW SHE WAS OVER-EXTENDING HER BUDGET BY A LONGSHOT. SHE HAD MANY ITEMS ON THE RESERVED LIST, BUT SHE PAID FOR ALL OF THEM. WHEN SHE WOULD COME INTO THE SHOP, ON A MONDAY FOLLOWING A LOCAL AUCTION, SHE WAS QUITE FRENZIED TO FIND NEW PIECES. SHE'D GET THESE WILD EYES AND BECOME SILENT, PACING BACK AND FORTH, THEN WHISPERING TO HERSELF, ABOUT PROS AND CONS, OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF SHE COULD SWING YET ANOTHER MAJOR PIECE. DESPITE THE MONEY SHE SPENT, I FELT UNCOMFORTABLE….LIKE A DRUG DEALER ACTUALLY, BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WERE GETTING A RUSH BUYING THIS STUFF…..WHICH I'VE GOT TO CONFESS, WERE JUST GOOD QUALITY PIECES BUT NOT TERRIBLY UNIQUE OR VALUABLE. EVENTUALLY, SHE FOUND THAT I HAD BECOME MORE STANDOFFISH AND RELUCTANT TO PUT PIECES ON HOLD. I ACTUALLY WOULD TRY AND CALM HER DOWN, AND POINT OUT DEFICIENCIES OR DAMAGE ON A PIECE….OR SIMPLY NOTING THAT SHE COULD LIKELY FIND SIMILAR PIECES IN OTHER REGIONAL ANTIQUE SHOPS FOR LESS MONEY. IT DIDN'T WORK, BUT I THINK THE FACT I WAS MEDDLING WHERE SHE DIDN'T FEEL I HAD THE RIGHT, BOTHERED HER ENOUGH TO DROP US ALTOGETHER. SHE JUST DISAPPEARED LIKE GIRL ONE. IT COST ME QUITE A BIT OF MONEY TO LOSE CUSTOMERS LIKE THAT, BUT I WASN'T ENJOYING MY ROLE AS AN ANTIQUE DEALER, KNOWING FULL WELL, I WAS CONTRIBUTING TO THE WOES OF AN IMPULSE BUYER, AND OBSESSIVE COLLECTORS.

THERE ARE PEOPLE I RUN INTO AROUND MUSKOKA, EACH SATURDAY MORNING THROUGHOUT THE YEAR, WHO ARE OBSESSIVE COLLECTORS…..HOBBY DEALERS, WHO JUST CAN'T STOP THEIR HUSTLING AND CONNIVING TO GET PIECES THEY WANT. WHILE SOME MIGHT SAY THAT THEY'RE JUST AMBITIOUS, AND GOOD AT WHAT THEY DO, IF YOU ARE INSIGHTFUL AT ALL, YOU REALIZE THESE SAME PEOPLE ARE NOT HAVING ANY FUN OUT THERE. THE FUN PART IS WHY I STAY IN THE PROFESSION. I'M STILL A MILLION DOLLARS SHY OF BEING A MILLIONAIRE, SO EVEN AFTER 35 YEARS, I CAN TELL YOU HONESTLY, I'M NOT IN THE COLLECTING GAME STRICTLY FOR PROFIT. ONE ELDERLY COLLECTOR WE SEE FREQUENTLY IN YARD SALE SEASON, LEAPING FROM SALE TO SALE, IS ALMOST RABID, IN THE WAY SHE CONDUCTS HER HUNTING AND GATHERING……WITH A NO-HOLDS-BARRED MENTALITY. IF THIS COLLECTOR, WAS TO KNOCK YOU DOWN, ON THE WAY TO A CHINA TEAPOT, DAMN YOU FOR GETTING IN THE WAY. WITH TIME AS THE END-ALL, SHE WOULD CONTINUE ON, TO THE ITEMS SHE WANTS TO BUY, COME BACK, AND HIT YOU A SECOND TIME, IF YOU HADN'T ALREADY BEEN ABLE TO GET UP. I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA THAT EMOTION IS RULING WHERE IT SHOULDN'T, IN THIS CASE, AND I CAN SORT OF IMAGINE WHAT THE HOUSE MIGHT LOOK LIKE. I AM SUSPICIOUS OF ANY ONE WHO BECOMES OBVIOUSLY CRAZED ABOUT THIS COLLECTING THING. IT'S ONE THING TO GET EXCITED BY THE ADVENTURE, AND PLEASED BY DISCOVERY AND ACQUISITION, BUT QUITE ANOTHER THING TO LET IMPULSE RULE THE MISSION.

I KNOW TEN TIMES AS MANY COLLECTORS, WHO ARE ABUNDANTLY PATIENT, ORGANIZED, WELL INFORMED, AND EDUCATED HUNTER / GATHERERS, WHO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT, WHAT THEY WON'T ACCEPT IN QUALITY, WHAT THEY ARE WILLING TO PAY, AND UNDERSTAND VALUATIONS BEFORE MAKING A PURCHASE AGREEMENT. THEY ARE METICULOUS, OFTEN PERSNICKETY ABOUT THEIR COLLECTIONS, AND ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO SHARE INFORMATION ON THEIR SPECIFIC INTERESTS……BECAUSE THEY ARE PROUD OF WHAT THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN THEIR FIELD OF EXPERTISE. THEIR COLLECTIONS HAVEN'T BEEN PUT TOGETHER WILLY-NILLY, AND CONDITION IS ALWAYS AN IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION. SOME OF THE BEST ANTIQUE-SHOP-TALKS HAVE BEEN WITH COLLECTORS, WHO WERE WILLING TO HOST INFORMAL TUTORIALS, FOR THOSE OF US HANGING AROUND THE SALES COUNTER……ON THOSE LONG WINTER DAYS WHEN CUSTOMERS WERE FEW, AND THE SNOW, DEEP!

WHILE FILM MAKERS GET THEIR JOLLIES EXPLOITING THE HOARDERS AMONGST THE COLLECTOR-KIND, LIKE LOVERS OF VINTAGE VINYL WHO COMPROMISE THEIR HOMES WITH EXCESSIVE VOLUME, THERE ARE MANY MORE OF US WHO LIVE SOMEWHAT ORDINARY, UNREMARKABLE LIVES……IN RESPECT TO THE CLUTTER WE DON'T KEEP……BUT THE FINE COLLECTIONS WE ARE CONSERVING AS QUALIFIED STEWARDS OF HISTORY. IT JUST WOULDN'T MAKE GOOD TELEVISION, TO JAM A CAMERA INTO A CIRCUMSTANCE OF NORMALCY. INSTEAD, THEY INTRUDE UPON THOSE WITH EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITIES, WHO JUST HAPPEN TO COLLECT BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL GOOD. MOST OF THE TIME, THEY BALK AT THE VERY IDEA, OF BEING "HOARDERS." IN THEIR OPINION, THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE MESSY, AND DON'T THROW NEAT STUFF OUT. MY FATHER-IN-LAW WAS A WELL KNOWN WOODEN BOAT RESTORER HERE IN MUSKOKA. AFTER HE PASSED AWAY, AND WE HAD TO CLEAN OUT HIS WORKSHOP, HE HAD EVERY HALL MARK OF A HOARDER. THANK GOD HE WAS, BECAUSE IT WAS THE KIND OF COLLECTION THAT WAS WORTH A LOT OF MONEY. TO ALL THE ESTATE BENEFACTORS, EACH HAD TO TIP THEIR HATS, TO A MAN WHO SAVED THE FIRST LIGHT, OFF THE FIRST BOAT, HE'D EVER OWNED. AND A LOT OF OTHER MARINE HERITAGE, FRANKLY, WE ARE THANKFUL HE HOARDED SO ABUNDANTLY FOR SO MANY DECADES.

THANKS FOR JOINING TODAY'S ANTIQUE AND COLLECTIBLE BLOG. VISIT AGAIN SOON. YOU CAN ALSO READ MY MONTHLY COLUMN IN "CURIOUS; THE TOURIST GUIDE," (WHICH IS AVAILABLE ON LINE) AND MY ADVENTURE-FILLED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PARANORMAL, VIA A MONTHLY COLUMN, PUBLISHED IN A NORTHERN ONTARIO MAGAZINE, KNOWN AS "THE GREAT NORTH ARROW."