Gravenhurst Parade, and When God Sent Pigeons To Do Dove's Job

CHRISTMAS FOR THE KIDS - SANTA CLAUS PARADE A NICE WAY TO START THE SEASON

KIDS ARE AN IMPORTANT RESOURCE IN OUR TOWN; THEY NEED TO HAVE MORE FUN AND OPPORTUNITY

     SUZANNE AND I NEVER MISSED A SANTA CLAUS PARADE, HERE IN OUR CHARMING AND HISTORICALLY PICTURESQUE…… GRAVENHURST. REMIND ME TO TELL YOU A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT, FURTHER ALONG IN THIS BLOG. IF YOU ARE AT ALL SQUEAMISH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE IT A PASS!

    EVEN AFTER OUR BOYS WERE TOO OLD TO STAND WITH MOM AND POP, ALONG THE MAIN STREET PARADE ROUTE, WE'D FIND OURSELVES WITH HOT BEVERAGE AND A DESERT DISH, SITTING IN THE WINDOW GALLERY OF THE OLD WHITE PINE CAFE (WHICH OF COURSE BURNED DOWN SOME YEARS BACK). WHEN ANDREW AND ROBERT WERE KIDS, I'VE GOT TO ADMIT, IT WAS ALWAYS A GREAT DAY TO BE OUTDOORS, AND VISITING ALL THE MAIN STREET SHOPS…..THE UNITED CHURCH CHRISTMAS SALE, WHICH ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING OR OTHER INTERESTING TO PURCHASE, OR ENJOY AS A DESERT…..SOME ITEMS WE'D THEN TAKE WITH US, TO HAVE DURING THE PARADE. WHATEVER WAS GOING ON, THAT DAY, WE PARTICIPATED IN, BY SOME MEASURE. WE MOVED TO GRAVENHURST BECAUSE OF THE SMALL TOWN ATMOSPHERE, IN THE EMBRACE OF THE MUSKOKA WE ADORE…..AND BEING OUT THERE, MINGLING WITH THE GOOD CITIZENS OF OUR TOWN, WAS A TRADITIONAL TREAT. WE'D START OFTEN WITH BREAKFAST AT THE V & S STORE, AFTER CHECKING OUT THE TOYS OF COURSE, AND WE ALL JUST FELT COMFORTABLE WITH THE PREVAILING, CHEERFUL AMBIANCE. I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN IT, BECAUSE IT WAS SOMETHING AMBIGUOUS…….AND EVEN IF I WAS ABLE TO DESCRIBE IT, MANY READERS STILL WOULDN'T KNOW QUITE WHAT I MEANT. THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY, IS THAT WE FELT AT EASE, AND PART OF THE TOWN IN WHICH WE HAD JUST ARRIVED…….REFUGEES FROM BRACEBRIDGE. I HAD JUST LOST A MUNICIPAL ELECTION TO A SENIOR CITIZEN, IN THAT CRUEL MUNICIPALITY, AND ALTHOUGH THE FOUR VOTES I DID GET WERE THE RESULT OF HARD CAMPAIGNING, I FELT IT WAS TIME TO TAKE THE HINT…..AND MOVE ON. BUT TRUTH IS, I HAD BETTER LUCK THE SECOND ELECTION THAN THE FIRST, WHEN I GOT A SHUT-OUT BUT I WASN'T PLAYING NET.

     WE REALLY LIKED "FRASER'S FABULOUS '50'S DINER," AND IT MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONE GRAVENHURST BUSINESS, MORE THAN ALL THE OTHERS, THAT INSPIRED THE BOYS TO OPEN THEIR VINTAGE MUSIC SHOP, IN THE OLD MUSKOKA THEATRE. WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN FRASERS, AND ALTHOUGH IT WAS A SHORT-LIVED VENTURE, IT DEFINITELY IMPACTED US, AS A FAMILY……AT A TIME WHEN WE REALLY WEREN'T SURE IF WE HAD MADE THE RIGHT MOVE, CHOOSING GRAVENHURST OVER OTHER MUSKOKA TOWNS WE HAD CONSIDERED. WELL, YOU KNOW HOW THAT ALL WORKED OUT. AS FOR BEING NERVOUS, IT LASTED A VERY SHORT TIME, AND WE OWE THAT TO THE KIND FOLKS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, AND ALL AROUND TOWN, WHO MADE US FEEL WELCOME. I CAN REMEMBER US BEING AT THE ANGLICAN CHURCH, FOR A FALL RUMMAGE SALE, AND THE LADIES RUNNING THE FUNDRAISER, REFUSING TO LET US LEAVE IN BAD WEATHER. THAT'S RIGHT. MURIEL JONES TOLD US, IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, THAT WE WERE GOING TO JOIN THEM, OVER THE DINNER HOUR, FOR THEIR BREAK……AND THAT MAY LINDSELL HAD SENT OVER A WONDERFUL CASSEROLE FOR ALL THE VOLUNTEERS. HERE WE WERE, OUR FIRST RUMMAGE SALE IN GRAVENHURST, WITH VERY LITTLE MONEY TO BUY ANYTHING AT ALL, AND MURIEL AND HER SISTERS ARE SETTING PLACES FOR US TO HAVE OUR DINNER. THE FOUR CURRIES AND A LOT OF FOLKS WE DIDN'T KNOW THEN…..BUT DID VERY QUICKLY, AFTER THAT DELICIOUS DINNER AND SOCIAL OCCASION WHICH LASTED WELL INTO THE EVENING.

     TODAY SUZANNE AND I WERE STANDING IN THE DOORWAY OF THE BOYS' SHOP, WITH SON ROBERT, NOW ABOUT SIX FEET TALL, WATCHING ALL THE YOUNGSTERS WITH OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, LOOKING FOR TREATS AND THE PACKAGED STUFFED TOYS, HANDED OUT IN A TRADITION BEGUN MANY YEARS EARLIER, BY OUR OLD FRIEND SHORTY…..WHO USED TO RIDE HIS DECORATED THREE WHEELED BIKE, ALONG THE PARADE ROUTE EACH YEAR, WITH TEDDY BEARS HE HAD COLLECTED THROUGH THE YEAR……TO GIVE OUT TO YOUNGSTERS ALONG THE MAIN STREET. RANDY BROWN WITH OTHER GENEROUS SUPPORTERS, HAS SO KINDLY CARRIED ON THIS TRADITION SINCE SHORTY'S DEATH SEVERAL YEARS AGO. A NICE REMEMBRANCE OF SHORTY, AND A WONDERFUL GESTURE OF KINDNESS TO THE YOUNGSTERS OF OUR TOWN.

     AS WE WERE WATCHING, AND I SUPPOSE REMINISCING TO OURSELVES MINDFULLY ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS, WHEN WE WATCHED OUR LADS RUNNING FOR THE SCATTERED CANDY CANES, HERE THEN…..OUT OF THE THIN AIR OF LATE AUTUMN, CAME THE WINTER CARNIVAL FLOAT, WITH MUSICIANS AND A SINGER PERFORMING THE "SKOKIE SONG." I HAD MANY TEARS IN MY EYES, AND SO DID SUZANNE, BECAUSE THE GUITAR PLAYER, AND WRITER OF THE SONG, WAS OUR DEAR LITTLE ANDY…..OR AS WE STILL CALL HIM AT HOME……"BOOGEN." HE'S HAD THAT NICK-NAME SINCE THE AGE OF ONE. HE WASN'T LOOKING HAPPY WHEN I CALLED OUT TO HIM……"HEY BOOGEN…….NICE SCARF!" I WAS REFERENCING THE SKOKIE SCARF SUZANNE MADE FOR THE MUSIC VIDEO, THEY FILMED LAST YEAR, FOR THE FEBRUARY WINTER CARNIVAL. WITH THE BOOG WAS SINGER DANI O'CONNOR AND OF COURSE, SKOKIE, PERFORMING THE "SKOKIE SONG," WHICH YOU CAN STILL VIEW ON YOUTUBE, IF YOU'D LIKE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. IT TOOK TWO YEARS OF BUGGING THE BOOG TO WRITE THE SONG, WHICH WAS DONATED TO THE WINTER CARNIVAL COMMITTEE. IT IS A KIND OF FAMILY THING, I SUPPOSE YOU MIGHT SAY. BRAD AND BONNIE VEITCH DID THE ORIGINAL WINTER CARNIVAL SONG BACK IN THE EARLY 1970'S. BRAD IS A DISTANT COUSIN TO BOTH ANDREW AND ROBERT. IT SHOULD ALSO BE NOTED THAT CANADIAN MUSIC LEGEND, CONDUCTOR / COMPOSER, MUSIC HISTORIAN, HOWARD CABLE, ALSO DID A SONG FOR THE WINTER CARNIVAL BACK A FEW DECADES.

     IT WAS REALLY WONDERFUL TO SEE ALL THE KIDS ON THE FLOATS, AND PARTICIPATING IN THE PARADE, AS ELVES, CLOWNS, PIONEERS, CAROLERS, AND AS DANCERS, VIGOROUSLY REPRESENTING THE JUST 4 KICKS DANCE STUDIO; AND THERE WERE THE CUB SCOUTS, SINGING THEIR WEE HEARTS OUT. THE LIST IS A LONG ONE. IT WAS EVEN BETTER, TO SEE SO MANY KIDS OUT WITH PARENTS AND FRIENDS, TO WATCH THE SATURDAY ARRIVAL OF SANTA CLAUS TO GRAVENHURST, AND I'M ASSUMING THERE WAS A GOOD ATTENDANCE AT THE OPERA HOUSE AFTER THE PARADE……AS A CONTINUATION OF THE UPTOWN FESTIVITIES. I LIKE ANY EVENT THAT BRINGS OUT YOUNGSTERS……AND IT IS SOMETHING WE COULD REALLY IMPROVE UPON IN GRAVENHURST……PROVIDING FOR MORE ACTIVITIES UPTOWN ESPECIALLY, FOR OUR GREATEST RESOURCE. KIDS AND MORE KIDS. WE ARE A FAMILY COMMUNITY, AND BY GOLLY, THE KIDS ARE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. THEY MAKE US OLD FARTS FEEL YOUNG…..AND THAT'S A GOOD THING FOR A HOBBLING OLDTIMER LIKE ME……

     AS FOR THE STORY I ASKED YOU TO REMIND ME ABOUT, AT THE START OF TODAY'S BLOG, HERE GOES. I HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE FORMER DESU BOOKS, MY FAVORITE LITTLE BOOKSELLER ON MUSKOKA ROAD, BACK A FEW YEARS NOW, AND HAD SETTLED IN TO WATCH THE PARADE WITH ANDREW AND ROBERT, WHO WERE STILL PRETTY YOUNG AT THAT TIME. I STOOD CLOSER TO THE FRONT WINDOW OF THE BOOK SHOP, WITH SUZANNE, AND THE BOYS WANTED TO BE UP FRONT, SO THAT THEY COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE PARADE PERSONNEL, HANDING OUT CANDY TREATS AND TOOTHBRUSHES OF ALL THINGS. I SAW A CHRISTIAN-THEMED FLOAT GO BY, WITH CHRISTMAS CAROLS PLAYING, AND WATCHED A MINOR TUSSLE ONBOARD, WITH SEVERAL ADULTS TRYING TO OPEN SOME TYPE OF PAPER-COVERED CAGE. AT THAT MOMENT, SUZANNE WENT TO THE ROAD, TO TAKE THE GATHERED CANDY FROM THE BOYS, TO PUT INTO A STORE BAG, SHE WAS CARRYING. ON THE FLOAT, THE DOOR OF THE BOX (CAGE) WAS FINALLY OPENED, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THIS SMALL, AGGRESSIVE FLOCK (I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU CALL IT), OF PIGEONS, WERE SCARED OUT OF THIS MAKESHIFT PEN, AND THEY HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE CROWD ON OUR SIDE OF THE ROAD. IT WAS LIKE A SCENE FROM AN ALFRED HITCHCOCK MOVIE. I SAW THEIR BEADY LITTLE EYES UP CLOSE AND WAY, WAY TOO PERSONAL.

     THE SOUND OF THEIR WINGS HAD STARTLED EVERYONE, WHO STARTED DUCKING, AND SOME FOLKS ACTUALLY DROPPING TO THEIR KNEES, TO MISS GETTING HIT BY THE BIRDS' OUTSTRETCHED WINGS; FLAPPING IN A MINOR THUNDER, JUST OVER OUR FUZZY-BALLED TOQUES. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SCARED POOP-LESS TO SEE THE LARGE CROWD AT THE PARADE, BECAUSE THEY BEGAN A SERIOUS AMOUNT OF DISCHARGING WASTE, JUST OVER HEAD. I WAS ONE OF ABOUT A DOZEN SPECTATORS, TO GET HIT WITH AT LEAST TWO BIRDS' WORTH OF FLYING POOP. SO IF YOU EVER WONDERED…..JUST CASUALLY THINKING TO YOURSELF ONE DAY…..WHILE STANDING AT A SIMILAR PARADE, WHETHER PIGEONS ARE BETTER THAN DOVES FOR SUCH A SPECTACULAR DISPLAY OF CHRISTIAN GOOD WILL….…..GEEZ, I CAN TELL YOU BY FRONT-LINE EXPERIENCE, THAT A DOVE TURD WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT SUCH AN ENORMOUS WELT ON MY FORHEAD…..AS CAME COURTESY, A ONCE CONSTIPATED FLOCK OF PIGEONS. AT ABOUT NINETY MILES AN HOUR, WHICH IS HOW FAST THESE BIRDS HAD TAKEN OFF OUT OF THAT CAGE, A SMACK OF THICK WHITE POOP IN THE FACE, ALMOST KNOCKED ME THROUGH THE GLASS OF THE BOOK SHOP. AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO WONDER, IF I GOT SOME OF THIS MATERIAL IN MY MOUTH. WHICH REALLY WAS UNAVOIDABLE, CONSIDERING I WAS IN SUCH SHOCK, SEEING THESE FREAKING BIRDS HEADING MY WAY IN THE FIRST PLACE. I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE PIGEON POOP AS RANCID, FOUL, HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING, AND NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, WHILE WAITING FOR SANTA CLAUS. IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN QUITE SO BAD, IF IT HADN'T BEEN IN THE VOLUME AND VELOCITY IT ARRIVED ON MY HEAD. WHEN SUZANNE HEARD ME YELLING HER NAME, SHE TURNED, STARTED LAUGHING, THEN GAGGING, THEN HAVING DRY HEAVES, AND THEN LAUGHING AGAIN, BEFORE GETTING ME NAPKINS FROM HER PURSE. ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS GETTING MY HANDS ON THOSE CHRISTIAN WARRIORS, OR THE BIRDS….BUT AS A MATTER OF COINCIDENCE, THEY ALL BEAT-IT DOWN THE STREET, AND INTO THE SKY. SUZANNE SAID, THAT THE GUYS ON THE FLOAT LOOKED BACK, SAW WHAT HAD HAPPENED, AND TOLD WHO EVER WAS DRIVING, TO "STEP ON IT!" I'M ASSUMING THAT WAS "ON THE GAS PEDAL."

     YES INDEED, THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH, STARING AT THE FURRY WHITE ASSES OF THOSE PIGEONS…..AND JUST AFTER THE NAPKIN AND QUICK RINSE WITH HOT COFFEE, WAS "AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU…….YOU  LITTLE BASTARDS." I SUPPOSE YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO IMAGINE ALL THE PARENTS, AND YOUNGSTERS WHO THOUGHT I WAS YELLING AT THEM. "WHY YOU OLD HUMBUG…..LOOK EVERYBODY….IT'S MR. SCROOGE!" THEY YELLED AT ME. YUP, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE KODAK MOMENTS…..AND THANK GOD NO ONE WAS FILMING THE FLIGHT OF THE CHRISTMAS PIGEONS. HONESTLY, WHO WOULD THINK OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS, AS A MEMORABLE DISPLAY ON A CROWDED PARADE ROUTE. REMINDS ME OF THE GREAT TURKEY DROP, ON THE TELEVISION SHOW, "WKRP IN CINCINNATI," WHEN STATION MANAGER ARTHUR CARLSON STATED, AFTER A FAILED PUBLICITY STUNT, FOR AMERICAN THANKSGIVING "AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY." PIGEONS CAN FLY, BUT THEY ARE WELL KNOWN FOR WHAT THEY LEAVE BEHIND. BY THE WAY, I WAS JUST ONE OF THE FOLKS HIT THAT DAY BY THE PIGEONS, APPARENTLY ON A MISSION FROM GOD. SUZANNE REPEATED WHAT MY MOTHER USED TO TELL ME. THAT IF A BIRD POOPS ON YOU, IT'S GOOD LUCK. I GOT A FLAT TIRE LATER THAT SAME AFTERNOON, AND I LOST TWENTY BUCKS OUT OF MY POCKET, SOMETIME DURING THE FUSS TO CLEAN UP, AFTER THE PIGEONS HAD SOILED-ON THE AUDIENCE. NO, I'M TELLING YOU WITH CONSIDERABLE EXPERIENCE, PIGEON POOP, EVEN USED IN A CHRISTIAN ACT, DOES NOT BRING GOOD LUCK. AND, I MISSED SEEING SANTA CLAUS THAT PARTICULAR PARADE SATURDAY, BECAUSE I WAS SPLASHED IN THE EYES AS WELL.

     IF WE CAN'T LAUGH AT OURSELVES……WHO CAN WE LAUGHT AT……..CHRISTIANS WHO THINK PIGEONS ARE THE SAME AS DOVES. I DON'T THINK SO. THEY GOT OFF LUCKY THAT DAY. I IMAGINE THE DRY CLEANERS DID REAL WELL IN THE AFTERMATH RECOVERY.

     I WAS REALLY REVVED UP FOR THIS BLOG, WHICH EXPLAINS THE UPPER CASE FOR THE WHOLE DARN COLUMN. I USE UPPER CASE WHEN I'M AGITATED, AND HAVE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE, AND COULD RUN UP A WALL, AND ACROSS THE CEILING OF OUR STORE. WHEN I WORKED FROM HOME, I HAD COFFEE IN THE MORNING AND TEA IN THE EVENING. MAYBE A HOT CHOCOLATE FOR MY MID-MORNING BREAK. NOW AT THE STORE, THROUGH THE DAY, WITH ALL KINDS OF WONDERFUL FOLKS BRINGING US IN COFFEES FROM MORNING UNTIL NIGHT, I CAN'T EVEN GET A PULSE……SO I'M EITHER DECEASED, OR RUNNING A MARATHON WHILE SITTING HERE AT THE KEYBOARD. I THINK I BETTER START CUTTING BACK……OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO INTO REHAB. I'M SO WIRED WITH CAFFEINE THAT I NOT ONLY SHAKE MY CUSTOMERS' HANDS, I ASK THEM IF THEY'D LIKE TO WRESTLE OR BOX A FEW ROUNDS. I'VE BEEN GIVING WEDGIES TO PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW. THEN SON ROBERT GAVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE BRANDY BEANS THIS AFTERNOON, AND THAT'S THE LAST THING I REMEMBER. THAT'S WHY I QUIT DRINKING. NOW I'VE GOT TO SERIOUSLY STOP ACCEPTING COFFEE BY THE GALLON.

     IT WAS A GREAT AND PIGEON FREE SANTA CLAUSE PARADE. I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THE MAIN STREET EVENT. TO ALL THOSE KIND CITIZENS AND PARENTS…..AND A LOT OF KIDS, WHO VOLUNTEERED TO BRING US SEASONAL GOOD CHEER, THANK YOU, THANK YOU AND THANK YOU.  LET'S ALL HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS SEASON IN OUR LITTLE TOWN, TUCKED INTO THE SNOWY WOODLANDS OF BEAUTIFUL SOUTH MUSKOKA………WHERE THE DOVES ARE DOVES AND THE PIGEONS…..WELL, THEY'RE POOPERS.

     THANKS FOR JOINING TODAY'S BLOG. I APPRECIATE YOUR ONGOING SUPPORT. I'VE GOTS LOTS OF GREAT CHRISTMAS MATERIAL YET TO COME, AND THE SERIES WILL CONTINUE UNTIL NEW YEAR'S DAY. THE STORIES ARE ABOUT THE COMMONPLACE OF LIFE AND TIMES IN GRAVENHURST……..STORIES THAT ARE FUN, INSPIRING, A LITTLE NOSTALGIC, A TAD HISTORICAL, AND HOPEFULLY, SOMEWHAT MEMORABLE IN A REKINDLING SORT OF WAY. EXCUSE ME NOW. THE FIRE IS IN NEED OF ANOTHER LOG, AS IT IS GETTING A LITTLE CHILLY, HERE, IN THIS OPENING WEEKEND OF DECEMBER 2013. SEE YOU AGAIN SOON. DRIVE CAREFULLY OUT THERE. WATCH FOR THE PIGEONS. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. I'D PREFER HE SPOKE TO BE SOFTLY INSTEAD. THE PIGEON POOP THING WAS VERY UNSETTLING.